The Man Who Was Afraid

He longed to go to her, and was so much afflicted over her that even his bones were aching from the desire of his heart to be near her again. But he was sternly silen

hat conversation, and she would no longer receive him as cordially as before, would not smile at him the clear smile that used to awaken in him

fe, and he tried to remember their words. They did not make anything clear to him; nay, they increased his perplexity and prompted him to regard them suspiciously. They were clever, cunning and sensible - he saw it; in dealings with them it was always necessary to be on one's g

dfather said to hi

ll try to loosen it in order to make you talk on business matters. He is cunning, the old devil; he is a holy fox; he'

im anything?

ng at once - don't give. A rouble is a sticky thing; the longer it turns about in your hand, the more copecks will stick to it. A roubl

lp paying it now,

r it - and you roar - b

up the

est toil and that he was leading an evil life at home, in an obscure village of the forest district; and Ignat had told Foma that when Shchurov was young and was but a poor peasant, he sheltered a convict in the bath-house, in his garden, and that there the convict made counterfeit money for him. Since that time Anany began to grow rich. One day his bathhouse burned down, and in the ashes they discovered the corpse of a man with a fractured skull. There was a rumour

e perished in drunkenness had he not come to himself in time and gone off to save himself in a hermitage, in Irgiz. And when his mistress-daughter-in-law had passed away, Shchurov took into his house a dumb beggar-girl, who

of the neighbouring house, he noticed that the old Shchurov had just risen from sleep, and sitting on his bed, leaning his hands

in a hoarse and angry voice

you do, Ana

d slowly and, winking his

son, is t

e s

indow. Let me see how you've grown up. W

ldn't

d, taking his beard in his hand, he began to examine

cheeks and his lips were thick and red, and seemed out of place on his face. His thin, long nose was turned downward as though it wished to hide itself in his white moustache; the old man moved his lips, and from beneath them small, ye

ked: "Do you remember your father? Do you ever pray for him? You must, you must pray!" he went on, after he heard Foma

hers," replied Foma, angrily, o

tance?" demanded S

not plenty

as the late Ignat- -and that is that cursed heath

f it?" inquired

shall bring with me a heavy burden before His holy countenance. I have been pleasing the devil myself, only I trust to God for His mercy, while Yashka believes in not

sure of t

en to me. What a sagacious fellow, indeed! But he who has committed many sins is a

an's hoarse and confid

ting death,

n the samovar and quickly hastened out of the room, with short steps. The old ma

-eyed people, because then the souls used to be brighter. Before, everything was simp

himself opposite Fom

s. While you - here I am looking at you, but cannot see what you are. Who are you? You don't know it yourself, my lad, and that's why you'll suffer. Everybody nowadays must suffer, because they

t," sai

I'm quite sure, you are not pure any longer.

nwhile I am wit

, washing his sins away with blood. Now they travel by rail; they are sending telegrams, or they've even invented something that a man may speak in his office and you can hear him five miles away. There the devil surely has a hand in it! A man sits, without motion, and commits sins merely because he feels lonesome, because he has nothing to do: the machine does all his work

over it the silver hair of his beard shook noiselessly. Dread fell on Foma as he looked at him and listened to his words, for there was a ring of firm faith in them,

reedom. The devil has captured you - he has taken toil away from you, and slipped machines and telegrams into your hands. How freedom eats into the souls of men! Just tell me, why are the children worse than their fathers? Because of their freedom, yes. That

ading depraved lives and drinking just a

sins are more disgusting. Then men were like oak-trees. And God's judgment will also be in accordance with their strength. Their bodies will be weighed, and angels will measure their blood, and the angels of God will see that the

udge man?" asked Foma, thoughtfull

visible

le might u

he Lord, is

his mistresses - had surely been hastened toward their graves by this old man's caresses; he had crushed them with his bony chest, drunk the sap of their life with these thick lips of his which were scarlet yet from t

he Lord, is

d himself and became pensive, st

e to live. The capital in your heart is small, and your habits are great,

I have within my heart?" said Foma

f them, and even the houses have grown old. While I have seen all this and am still alive, and when, at times, I recall my life, I think, 'Is it possible th

of conversation were heard from below, from the street. The samovar on the table sang a sad tune. Shchurov was fixedly staring into hi

live without your fath

used to it,"

ies, you will be richer still.

't nee

he is your godsister and foster-sister - no matter! That can be arranged - and then you would be married. W

N

e. It has become a custom to make Gymnasium students of all children. The merchants, the nobles, the commoners - all are adjusted to match the same colour. They dress them in gray and teach them all the same subjects. They grow man even as they grow a tree. Why do they do it? No one knows. Even a log could be told from another by its knot at least, while here they want to plane the people over so that all of them should look alike. The coffin is alr

"What joy does man derive from money?""Mm," bellowed Shchurov. "You wi

derstand it?

think, 'What does it contain?' Then will you know that all this is human strength, human mind. Thousands of people have put their life into your money and

body do

fore did God create man? That man should pray to Him. He was alone and He felt lonesome, so He began to desire power, and as man was created in

's head was heavy and troubled, and he was glad that th

rov, sternly knitting his brow

a half of

alf? Why

y in need of

ou any? But I

a li

eliable lot. In a month you may break up the whole business. And I would be the loser for it. Yo

face and his eyes seemed different, and now he looked fierce, his lips smiled pitilessly, and the veins on his cheeks, near his nostrils, were eage

hchurov. "Well, tell the truth - where

d to test

frown. "We have no contracts. We have receiv

all I hel

ay of payment," begged Foma

my friendship for your father

will you postpone

six m

k you h

rewrite the notes for the amount of fifteen thousand, pay me the interest on

he chair and sai

s tomorrow. I'll

thout lowering his eyes at Foma's sarcast

s all

for your

e, or I would have shown you my kindness!"

hould fall int

ind it

u'd make it w

lever, it is rather too soon. You've gained nothing, and already you began to boast! But yo

hat trouble

e with

at the old man gave a slow, loud yawn, and

ors of mercy. Oh bl

an a double feeling. Shchurov pleased him

the power of his faith in the mercy of the Lord, and

not complain of them. He has sinned - and he is willing to stand the conseque

ly, in order to hide from justice, or whether her heart is really ach

hchurov's attempts to swindle him. This called forth in him an aversion fo

ov's," he said, coming to Mayakin

in his hand, began to move about in his leather-co

Foma, I must be in the City Council at nine

him how Shchurov sugges

ass for me, dear! How could you be so straightforward in your dealings with the man? Psha! The dev

says, 'I a

tree, but its fruits are good for swine only. So

e same, we have

hile you are ready to run as fast as you can

his godson. He frowned and in an angry manner orde

to me. Don't you see

roubled, and her hands moved lazily and

in the presence

ak to you about?

ut s

he is a manufacturer of sins. Both in the galleys and in hell they ha

," said Foma, thoughtf

nquired Mayakin, wit

mew

at did

iste

what did

l be forgiven; but there is n

What wisdom! Even t

Mayakin regarded Shchurov, irritated Foma, and, lo

doesn't

y they should like me. I am no girl. But they respect me. And they respec

eal merchant,' says he, 'is passing away. All people are taught th

consider

ently

akin drawled ou

d Foma, looking at his

there with one and the same idea - then must we acknowledge that it is wise. Because - what is a man in the empire? Nothing more than a simple brick,

ease to be a brick?"

not plane you. It is not everybody's phiz that you can rub off. But some people, when beaten with a h

thing,' he says, 'is done by mach

ainfully. "I am surprised, what an appetite you have

er?" asked Foma, break

you. Without any words, without trouble, you set it into motion and it revolves. While a man, he is uneasy and wretched; he is often very wretched. He wails, grieves, weeps, begs. Sometimes he gets

h his slippers along the floor. Foma glanc

t see through all this. One

same with books," sai

good-naturedly. And she answ

oked fatigu

ep on reading

girl answ

you still

e I am alone. There's no

t's

ering her head, she slowly began t

ied," said Foma, feeli

se," answered Lubov,

ne? You will get m

- it is necessary. That is, I'll have to get married. But how? Do you know, I feel

books," Foma inter

erything has become strange to me. Nothing is as it should be. Everything is wrong

our books. Yes. Although I also feel that it's wrong.

not listening to him, "that everything

," suggested Fom

there are in the world! O Lord! They're such ideas that set your head afir

ing?" as

another book says t

isn't thi

earing at the door, in a long frock-coat and w

said Lubo

bout books,

ind of

g. She read that everyth

all

I say it

thoughtful, he pinched his bear

s it?" he asked his da

overed book," said

ly expressed. And were it not for the fools, it might have been perfectly correct. But as fools are always in the wrong place, it cannot be said that everythi

here a litt

y we

ma again rem

id Foma, nodding his head towar

d of a man do y

and wants to cover eve

does not understand how painful

erstand it. You i

ine?" cried the

ot your own ideas. Th

se's. Someo

down and became silent. Foma looked at her and

is - both men and women -

ark outside, and in the room it was quite dark already. The wind was shaking the linden-trees, and their branc

said Fom

er head and

have quarrelled

d Luba, bri

at she offended me. Y

ingly, "for she would have turned your head. She is a vile creature; she

id Foma, morosely. "And you don't know

eg your

e, "don't speak ill of her in my presence. It isn't necessar

tonishment. "What a strange woma

ma ejaculated with diffi

isappointment in the girl's question

that

ill you

what I am thi

ove her v

oked into the window a

ems to me that now I lov

fore the

es

such a woman!" said the gir

? Of course! Why n

have become attached to her just beca

assented, and after a moment's silence s

eople," Lubo

Because, you see, I fe

y s

I think - wouldn't it be a great idea to go out on such a spree that all my veins would start tingling. And then I recall

that you love her. I would also be like this. If I lov

softly. "She speaks in a way all her own. And, God! How

place between y

egan to relate to her all that had taken place between him and Medinskaya. He spoke, and as he recalle

d you make sport of me?'" he

ith animation, spurred him on

hat's good! W

a shrug of the shoulders. "That is, she s

d already become cold. And the dimness in the room was growing thicker and thicker, outside the wi

ght the lamp,

both are," said

d not l

d in a firm voice. "I am simpl

. "I do not know it, neither do you. Whither go? Yet go we must, Why is it that

t on what? I cannot make it clear to myself. There is also a

away," Lub

waiting there for me.

eld out her hand to him and

now?" asked Foma, fi

ead a l

he drunkard to his whisky,

here that

a's face. It was just as vague as everything that the girl told him, even as vague as her longin

st her way, like

though he wanted to frighten away the tho

ving the dust along the sidewalks and throwing it into the faces of the passers-by. It was dark, and people w

na will receive me in a friendly way, as before. I am going to see

d this irritated Foma to such an extent th

ev. He stood at the door, and chatted with a certain stout, whiskered man;

oma rather liked him for his jolly moo

ly shaking Ookhtishchev

s you think th

plays, nor likes any women. By the way, do you know, Foma Ignatyevich, tha

"Of course! The sun of my life is set

ical, sly grimace and l

at his head was lowering on his breas

e radian

" a deep bass voice asked.

smiled sheepishly and stared in confusion at

air of importance, and deep, heavy, repuls

here will be one co-

said Ookhtishchev, reproac

coming closer to the whiskered man. The man measured him with a

t say -

about a woman who -" began Ookhtishchev in

h to ask the gentleman, what is

trousers-pockets, threw his chest forward, which at once gave his figure an atti

xclaimed Ookht

moving his lips as if he tasted the word. "And if

aid Foma, with a deep sigh, no

sped his hands a

stitute," said the whiskered man in a low vo

nd his curly, grayish hair. With a convulsive movement of the hand, Foma began to shake the man's head an

absence. Abuse him - right in h

oma dragged him along the floor and in a dull voice, growled wickedly, in wild joy. In these moments he experienced a great feeling - the feeling of emancipation from the wearisome burden which had long oppressed his heart with grief and morbidness. He felt that he was seized by the waist and shoulders from behind, that someone seized his hand and bent it, trying to break it; that someone was crushing his toes; but he saw nothing, following with hi

t me! You mustn'

al! Oh, rascal!

ndrel! Savage, 0 - 0 - 0

ev spoke loudl

ar boy, for

uzzing in his ears, his heart beat fast, but he felt relieved and well. At the entrance of t

sound drubbi

ou must pardon me but that was the act of a savage! Th

ng? Is he not a scoundrel? How can he speak like that behind a per

! But it wasn't for her alone

not for her alone? For who

ld accounts to settle! 0h Lord! That was a s

d Foma, and suddenly burst out la

ed fixedly into h

t know whom you've thrashed? And is

y God!" a

his shoulders perplexedly, waved his hand, and again began to pace the si

take me t

s. He is the Vice-Go

Foma, slowly, and

to this fact I must admit, that he deserves a drubbing. But takin

t and can appreciate it. But do not speak ill of her in my presence. Whatever she may be in your opinion, in my opinion, she is dear to me. To m

a's voice. Ookhtishchev looked

ueer man, I

en him a thrashing and now I feel jolly,

for your frankness - I also like you, although - Mm! It is rather dangerous to be with y

t going to beat people every day, am I?" said

it is abominable. Yet, I must tell you, in this case you made a happy selection. You h

id Foma with satisfaction. "No

zev, is a rascal! True! But you must not thrash even a rascal, for he is a social being, under the paternal custody of the law. You cannot touch him

l into your hands?" i

the end of his days he will live with you and me in the same degree of equality bef

secrets?" g

l! But then, this affair enlivened me. Indeed, Nemesis is ev

as though he had met

tice," babbled Ookhtishchev.

, slowly, in a dull voice, "becaus

W

a Pavl

is going a

le in his eyes. Gordyeeff was silent, with lowered h

said Ook

d, saying i

Ookhtishchev, waving his cane, began

oma, looking somewhere in front of him and then, afte

rse, I

dvice. A man must be himself. While you, you are an epic man, so t

r," said Foma, having listen

ay, give up thinking of this little

e same," put in

ecame thoughtful. "Now, I'll tell you, s

g his fists and waving them in the air: "Well, let us go, and I'll get

We'll do it

I don't understand anything, my dear fellow. I simply wish to live! I am unable to think. I feel disgusted; one says this, another that! Pshaw! But she, eh! If you knew. My hope was in her. I expected of her - just what I expected, I cannot tell; but she is the best of women! And I had so much faith in her - when sometimes she spoke such peculiar words, all h

sness of this strong and savage youth, who suddenly started to pace the sidewalk with big, uneven steps. Skipping along after him with his short legs, Ookhtishchev felt it his duty somehow to calm Foma. Everything Foma had said and done that evening awakened in the jolly secretary a feeling of lively curi

lders, but what it is I cannot understand! It puts a restraint on me, and it checks the freedom of my movements a

that woman. Bah! Is she then the only one in the world? The world is large enough. If you wish, I'll introduce you to such a virile woman, that even the slightest trace of your philosophy would at once vanish from your soul! Oh, a remarkable woman! And how well she knows ho

Foma, sadly and sternly. "So long as she

in the tone of a teacher began to argue with Foma that it was essential for

rferes with you, but timidity, I believe. You live outside of society. You are bashful, and awkward. Youare dimly conscious of all this, and it is this consciousness that you mistake for

it in the distance. Ookhtishchev's kind, suasive voice rang monotonously in Foma's ears, and though he was not listening to his words, he felt that they were tenacious in their way; that they adhered to him, and that he was involuntarily memorizing them. Notwithstanding that a man walked beside him, he felt as th

to philosophize, who would live? And we live but once! And therefore it were best to make haste to live. By God! That's true! But what's the use of talkin

ed. "Isn't it rather late?" he asked, lookin

go to see them!" exclaim