I Saved Her Life, He Chose Her Over Me

bus in New York, when I landed a paralegal gig at St

ced me. A kiss, a secret, an "arrangement." For four years, I was hi

and I was instantly demoted from mistress to...convenience.

s I really that blinded by his charm and

h her, pretend everything is fine. After all she did? Hell no! I'm done being convenient. I'm done being a placeholder. This time, I choose me. I'm going to exp

on a gray Tu

cheap nightstand I'd bought

I didn't

nsw

isp, unfamiliar f

Maya Haye

& Finch. I'm calling to confirm that your resign

like she was read

unused vacation days, will be direc

you," I

ood day,

ic

ou go.' No 'good luck in

ocessed

r slamming shut, q

, erased with a bur

led an ho

e asked, her voice soft

nfirmed, trying

t told me the real reason. 'Seeking ne

nge, Chloe. You know how it is. New

nced. "But if Ethan Sterling had a

en, sharp pressure in my chest. "It

e. I knew she di

need. But call me if you w

Thanks,

e lie bitter

f my small, rented room

ine, and it was far from the

small, velvet bo

uch, but that box..

diamond earrings. A birthday g

ensive. Like ev

below, indifferent.

tana, a full scholarship to a parale

east, glittering

& Finch was the E

ere felt like wi

de-eyed, and complet

as smaller than my

cheap next to the tailored suits and si

fellow paralegal

ed, with a wardrobe I envied a

on my first day, offering me half her bagel. "S

name whispered in a

Devastatingly handsome in t

then, with a charisma that

distance, a titan stri

owledged junio

y his eyes, a cool, asses

witness or eviscerate an opposi

young, developed a sec

idiculous. He w

sing on my work, deter

extra assignments, lear

my job, I was working late on a disco

iet except for the hum of the H

surrounded by stacks of doc

pened. It

d to see me. "Ms.

iefing binders for the Ke

cked up a binder,

tch. I could smell his cologne,

said, his voice

en, really looked,

es lin

rest," he said, but

kled. My pul

ers brushing a stray str

went th

aned in an

xpected, o

ucted professional

le thought in my hea

small, unmarked enve

undred-dollar

mach t

inical. A

he called me i

or was all

tly, "last night was... an error in judgment. I

, my fac

gaze unreadable. "If you were amenable to a more..

owance," he called it, that made

irst name for the first time outside of that kiss. "I'm not cap

gs. No expectations

ed out. I should h

of me

, the part that had secretly

lls in my purse. I

nd," I hear

ore I learned abou

ice gossip, whispered by seni

one said once at an after-wor

away. Broke his

hat sounded like old mone

silver frame on a low credenza in Ethan's offic

an almost ethereal

t him for a Europea

ed her. But her gho

ready knew: I was a pla

minimal, confined to darkened

clear terms, despite Serap

ate account, mostly untouched. I

nted

fter a difficult case, the way he sometimes looked at me w

cularly stressful week,

usual, staring out

said, "I know what you said about no strings.

is expressio

lurted out, "even like this.

up, knowing the term

ent for a

you sure, Maya? I c

whispered, a

ars, that w

n the margins of

eet arrivals and depart

ment. Never a dinner date

mily back in Mont

he'd give me knowing looks

self I wa

rt of him,

He challenged me intellectually,

his moods, to an

is carefully compartmental

ybe, he'd see me

spring, the

gossip sites, then t

Ethan's long-lo

to a minor European royal

il between her legs, but still

r at some charity gal

th an expression I'd nev

on. Undisgui

public de

onstructed fan

neath my feet

er shoe. The one I a

, I overheard hi

r slightly ajar. I was walki

. Softer, more animated

. Tonight? Perfect. I'll make

ry about Maya. She understands her place

ven

ime. But it hit with the

ended hope wit

d my place.

e place o

to my desk, and typed

ner, had accepted it without qu

acking the few belongings I'd broug

n my old desk the day after

Just th

over four years of being

t turne

hen, opened the trash can, a

with a d

the velvet box with

im win a particularly difficult case. "A

fumbled wit

e beauti

ping in jewels that were declarations of

the laptop i

the firm's annual summer party there, a few wee

dress, Maya. Someth

ached self, but there was a hin

e, but as what? P

ly, addressed to "Ms. Maya Hayes,

st." No per

eping me at arm's length, e

reflection in t

certain hollowness that hadn

bly relieved

for him and Seraph

al with deep feeli

emed to mock me. Bright, i

uzzed. A t

m E

leaped, t

ou seemed upset when you left. If you nee

fere

s his c

eartbroken. Not

t reflect badly on him, or

n't r

s there

dared to ask about Seraphina

aid, his voice clipped, shu

raph remained

nsive mood, after too much scotch, he'

er. She was a

ad hoped I might on

me I saw him, the day I

with Mr. Thompson. Ethan had

, a flicker of something

dded curtly

gment of the chasm tha

on, Seraphina firmly r

a fo

ched my lips. No, not b

" I whispered to the empty ro

probably dining with Seraphina, the c

as a blur of tying up loos

suddenly very busy, o

r, I pr

personal items from my cubicl

mug. A framed photo o

nearly ran into him

with Se

ortlessly chic in a cream-colored dress that

down, a faint, dismis

d his full attention back to Seraphi

n't ev

ey stepped in, their laughter ech

lding my box, fee

oose paving stone walking ba

sted. Pain s

box. Its contents scatte

to skittered i

solation was

collection of memories di

a metaphor

of the way, tear

py mattress, my ankle thr

ha

you might try to make a scene. Glad you kept you

urt?' Not 'do

ed in polite concern for Serap

s if I had any

maybe he did, and h

eathtaking ar

side me fina

but with a slow

ather-bound journal I'd ke

reams, my foolish, unrequi

page of sel

trinkets he'd given me – a silk scarf, a p

the metal trash

uck a

tched th

ed, blackened,

cathartic,

ust... n

eans

larm didn't