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Bones in London

Chapter 7 DETECTIVE BONES

Word Count: 4556    |    Released on: 01/12/2017

arge man, who dwelt at the

e hours of 6 p.m. and 2 a.m. he had earned the name of "good fellow,"

items in their balance sheets as "Sundry Debtors, £107,402 12_s_. 7_d_." People feel, on reading such airy lines, t

ts, on an occasion, stepped in and robbed him of £17,500, Mr. de Vinne's family doctor was hastily summoned (figuratively spea

a, went off to Brighton to recuperate, and to get the whizzy noises out of his head. To him arrived on a morning a special courier in the shape o

and he was arrayed in the costume which restaurateurs insist is the everyday k

ria leaves you that way-and dazzled by th

-in-the world dressed like a so-and-so?" (You can be very rude in Ara

bbetti. Embellishments of oriferous metal give wealthiness of appe

tive gathering of the juvenile research committee waited patiently for the reapp

it. It was, of course, from Bones, a

oing out going out of the bisiness Sindicate trying to buy so I niped in for 105,000 pounds got lock stock and barrill baril. Sindicat

a boot-shop-even a collection of boot-shops-and he was consci

groaning, he thought, an

ton go hot and moisty. He had gone home one evening, leaving Bones dictating a leading article which was a violent attack on the Government of the day, and had come in the following

... and £1

£15,000 profit on the turn-over. And at the identical moment that Hamilton was buying his ticket for London, Bones was solemnly shaking hands with the Secretary of the Phit-Phine Shoe Syndicate (Mr. de Vinne having violently, even apoplectic

mation that Mr. John Siker, the well-known private detective, had died at his residence at Clapham Park. Bones read the item

que-book, the counterfoils of which were only occasionally filled in, heard the staccato "Swindle! ... Swi

. debenture stock moved him to sardonic laughter. The certificates of eminent chartered accountants brought a meaning little s

nes threw do

ce, knocked upon it, and disappeared into the sanctum of the lady whom Bones nev

ausing deferentially at

nto a pitiful condition of incoherence. But this morning it had only the effect o

Tibbetts?" she asked

"Just a fit of the jolly old staggers. The fact is, I've been keeping late hours-in fact, dear you

cked-"I'm awfully sorry! You really

t and astounded Bones

et

abounded in such rhymes as "Marguerite," "Dainty feet," "Swe

odical embarrassments of Bones, but had acquired the knack

er from Mr. de

his nose an

, for Mr. de Vinne was very angry with Bones, who, as he h

ce letter," sug

young head-turner,

ence as a merchant of the City of London, in all of which, said the writer, he ha

t the Kingsway Restaurant, and that you occupied a table immediately behind me. I can only suppose that you overheard a perfectly confide

mured Bones. "Awfully bad for your jolly young

ntention of taking vengeance for the "dishon

Mr. de Vinne affected him not at all. The possible dis

," said the girl. "Do y

courage. "Of course I want you to answer it, my dea

room with a t

thing,"

say 'Dear old thing

," said Bones. "Start it like

d and then wrote

ty temper,'" dictated Bones, and

ce of his to sp

d I simply refuse to have anything more to do with you. You

ither in replying to your letter of to-day's date, or re-openi

t when, just after the girl had said "Good night," and Bones himself was yawning over an

deep mourning, eventually appeared through the d

e come rather l

d Bones. "Come and sit down, black one. De

bout twenty-four, and he had the appearance

atter," he said, "but your name was on

e was always prepared for a m

Siker," said

es, dimly conscious of the fact that h

s death. It was in this morning's newspaper

wed up his

. "Now, let me think. Why, of c

young man's

aid. "John Siker was my f

s wa

"at least, it has been represented to me-that you are o

Bones; "that show me

one of the best lists of clients in the kingdom, and almost every big business man in the City is on our list. With

ning. The amazing possibilities of such an

old thing. Deeply sorry and all that sort of thing, but it can't be done. It's not my line of business at all-not," he added, "that I don'

I thought that three years' purchase woul

nd pounds,"

you will find that what I have said is true-that my father took two thousand a year out of his business for years. It's possible to make it four thousand. And a

nce?" said Bones. "Why chuck away two

ker, after a moment's hesitation. "And, besides, I can't be bot

across the table. "I'll sleep on this. Give me your address and the add

occupied. When Hamilton saluted him with a cheery "Good morning," Bones returned a grave and non-committal nod. Hamilton w

re you looking at

," was the sur

ugh the kneehole of the desk and looked at

ssness," said Bones ter

am this

from Twickenham. That

ntly. "I though

rs widely-that is to say, is remarkably different. For instance, the mud of Twickenham is different from the mud of Balham. There's what you might call a subtle difference, dear

on. "Have you bought a mu

said

ation seems familiar

your argument,

ckenham. It is evident that on your way to the station you stopped to buy a newspaper, that something

now that?" as

the table," said Bones

n; "I bought it just befor

won't deceive you, dear old

his pen and leaned

s Sik

ncy," began Bones, "is

led Hamilton. "You were

s sm

r old person," he said.

ng eye met his, a

cross and lighting a cigarette. "That's a type of business there isn't any big demand for. And how

been looking for such a business. The management was capable of carry

found a cunning solut

in the name of 'Mr. Senob,' and I'll bet you w

Hamilton patiently. "You tried that

disappointed

nvincing. Yet Hamilton was not altogether convinced. He w

going to leave it entir

oulders at the absurdit

doubled if a man with

n of mode

oting noise, deris

at the conclusion of h

ntly. "I don't think, dear old officer, you quite re

ly investigate. That's done by the real police. Detective agencies

ther a pretty little bit of work." He took a slip of paper from his pocket. "You dined at the Criterion at half-past

's face

t at ten past nine, and

right

" exploded Hamilton, "th

s no

No. 297431-and you were an awful long time before you got out when you reached the lady's destination-an awful long time," sa

n awfully. "I think y

hing, I did really," said Bones, shaking his he

fice of his beautiful secretary, leaving a very red

resting to the psychologist, wearing the darkest of his dark suits and a large black wideawake hat. There was a certain furtiveness in his movements betwe

n Bones presented his card. He was immediately conducted by Mr. Hilton to a very plain inner offi

-faced man of fifty-fi

nd deliberate, his eyes

I presume I am welcoming to this establishment the new proprietor who has taken t

and listened as to a

r four generations," he said with a relish of an antiquarian. "George Siker first started work as an investigator in 1814 in this identical building. For thi

well, we can't live for ever, dear old chief of staff. N

he dingy apartment

as he had anticipated, veiled ladies or cloaked dukes, nor did

an in a top hat, who complained bitterly that old man Siker had practically an

ne-sided c

'Borker, my boy, you've only to offer me a reasonable figure' ... I say

d in the blackest colours the difficulties and tragedies of private investigation, yet seemed willing e

andcuffs, which were festooned upon the wall behind his desk and secured secretly-since he did not think that the melancholy Mr. Hilton w

a sceptical Hamilton some

rd evening. "A naughty old lady has been flirting with a very, very naught

said Hamilt

ent," said Bones n

ousness, "do you think this is a very nice busine

mmoral?" demanded t

er people's live

on of jolly old motives is essential to scientific progress. I feel I am doing a public duty,"

you think it's the game to chase around collectin

. Never let it be written on the fair pages of Thiggumy that a Tibbetts shrank

," said

uckles on the table and withdrew them with an "Ouch!" to suck away the pain-"let me tell you that, as

e next morning, full of zeal, and Hilton i

with satisfaction. "It has been very hard trailing him,

is hand a sh

cellent! I hope we shall bri

murred Hilton. "It is a job we were

e done it, I'm sure." He leant back in his chair and h

of a fool in some

man-the

low we've be

" said Bon

that Mr. de Vinne b

sitting up. "Harold de

e of our oldest cust

, this time without

on, "swindled him, and all that sort of thing. Well, I

ones politely. "W

lton, "that this chap is ma

hap?" sa

ient Mr. Hilton. "He used to be an officer on the West Coast

," said

got a flat in Jermyn Street, and this girl of his, this typis

, and there was in his

adowing a perfectly innocent man and a charming, love

pardonably

men and typewriters? Shame upon you, Hilton!" His voice shook. "Give me that report!" He thrust the report into the fire.

carcely stopped to spell. His letter was addressed to Mr. de Vinne, and when, on the following day, Mr. B

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