Valentine M'Clutchy, The Irish Agent / The Works of William Carleton, Volume Two

easons for Appointing an Agent-M'Clutchy's Notions of

to Henry H

, April

ear H

ike me, who must support his rank, or be driven to the purgatorial alternative of being imprisoned on his own estate? Hickman, you have no bowels for me, although you can have for the hard-fisted boors on my property, who wont pay up as they ought, and all through your indolence and neglect. You must send me money, get it where you will; beg, borrow, rob, drive, cant, sell out-for money I must have. Two thousand within a fortnight, and no disappointment, or I'm dished. You know not the demands upon me, and therefore you, naturally enough, think very easily-much too easily-of my confounded difficulties. If you had an opera girl to keep, as I have-and a devilish expensive appendage the affectionate jade is-perhaps you might feel a little more Christian sympathy for me than you do. If you had the expense of my yacht-my large stud at Melton Mowbry and Doncaster, and the yearly deficits in my betting book, besides the never ending train of jockies, grooms, feeders, trainers, et hoc genus omne-to meet, it is probable, old boy, you would not feel so boundless an interest, as you say you do, in the peace and welfare of another man's tenantry, and all this at that other man's expense. You're confoundedly unreasonable, Hickman. Why feel, or pretend to feel, more for these fellows, their barelegged wives, and ragged brats, than you do for a nobleman of rank, to whom you are deeply indebted. I mean you no offence, Hickman;

ost me a cool two hundred at least. Besides this, I have pledged myself to buy my charming little Signora a pair of Blenheim spaniels that she has fallen in love with, for whic

fellow of that particular description. For instance, I dare say, there are certain proceedings connected with your duty to which you have no great inclination, and, under these circumstances, would it not be prudent at least to resort to the agency of somebody like this M'Clutchy; a fellow not overburthened with too strong a perception of the necessary pressure. But the truth is, if I proceed in this manner, your

man, "Thy friend in

o the Right Honorable

Hill, A

Lo

from my age and anxiety for your lordship's welfare and reputation, I must take the liberty of one who has both sincerely at heart, to write to you in terms which a mere agent could not with propriety use. As this letter, therefore, is written for yo

other. You see, my Lord, I find it necessary to be very plain with you, and to say, that however you may feel yourself disposed to follow the one course, I shall not rival you in the other. I cannot become a scourge inflicted by your necessities, not to use a harsher word, upon a suffering people, who are already exhausted and provoked by an excess of severity and neglect. Think of the predicament in which you would have me stand-of the defence which you place, in my lips. Should your tenantry ask me-'why are you thus cruel and oppressive-upon us?' what reply could I make but this-'I am thus cruel because his lordship is profligate. He wants money to support his-mistress, to feed her vanities and excesses, and you must endure distress and privation, that the insatiable rapacity of a courtezan may be gratified. His lordship, too, has horses and dogs, in the welfare of which he feels a deep interest.' 'But why does he not feel an interest in us?' 'So he does, for are not you the persons by whose toil and labor he is enabled to support them all?' 'So that in point of fact, we

class to which I belong. I look upon this as a duty which I owe less to you than to my country, because I am satisfied that the most important service which can be rendered to any man, not ashamed of either your habits or principles, is to lay before him a clear, but short and simple s

to remember that his tenantry are his best friends-his only patrons-and that instead of looking down upon them with contempt, neglect, or e

ch greater, and far more important than those of his tenantry to him,

ogatives of power, which are claimed and exercised by those who possess property, shall be suffered, in the name of religion, or politics, or prejudice of any kind, to disturb or abridge the civil or religious r

by strong and heartfelt ties to the soil they live on, and are, in fact, moved by all those general laws and principles of life and nature, which go to make up social and individual happiness-to remember, in short, that they are men who have higher destinies in life, than merely administering to the wants, exces

lections that may lead it to fall back upon first principles, or force it to remember that the universal consent by which the rights of property are acknowledged, may, under the exasperation of overstrained press

uld be still more desirable, better practised. As, however, my paper is nearly filled, I shal

g them with sufficient milk they should try the fleams, and have recourse to her blood, in order to eke out their support. Accordingly she was bled, along with being milked; but if the quantity of milk she gave before was little, it now became less, so that in proportion as they drew upon the one the other diminished, as was but natural. In this way they proceeded, milking and bleeding the poor animal at the same time, not only without any benefit to themselves, but with a certain prospect of her ultimate loss, when one day the cow, after having ruminated for some time on the treatment she was receiving, began to reflect that she could not be much worse, or rather that she must soon altogether sink under this system of double drainage. 'Well' thought she, 'I feel how matters must close with me at last; I am indeed near the end of my tether; what have I now to fear when I know that I cannot be worse? And if I am to die, as I must, is it not bet

ship must remember that by your own letter he wa

the tenants, you consider him a useful man upon your property, you will, in that case, have

dship's life has left me no other alternative. I cannot rack and goad your tenants, nor injure your own property. I cannot paralyze industry, cramp hone

en taken for that purpose, but without effect-your property should grow rapidly indeed, in order to keep pace with the increasing and incessant demands which are made upon it. We c

pers, documents, &c, connected With the property, to any

he honor

y Hic

e Lord Cumber to V

er, Apr

S

d, until a competent person shall be appointed, I authorize you to discharge its duties, and receive from him a correct statement of all accounts between us, together with all deeds, leases, books, pape

Ballyrocket and Tulygrindem estates, their capability of improvement, condition of the tenantry, what leases are expired, i

ds, in the shape of an equivalent for the appointment. Could you within a fortnight or so, raise so much

it is said, will be dissolved in June, and I want, as well as I can remember, nearly two hundred votes. My brother lost the last election by something about t

sq., to the Right Hon.

Lo

will go through my duties as such without favor or affection to any one, barring your lordship, whose interests it will night and day become my duty to study. With, respect to the loan your lordship makes allusion to, I fear it will be out of my power to raise it-that is to the fu

gh principles and delicate feelings of our aristocracy more than I do, and the consequence was, that I feared in supposing it otherwise than a loan, I might offend your lordship's keen sense of honor, whi

e of truth, and a slow, but straightforward perseverance in whatever is right. It is to this, always under Providence, that I owe everything. I grant indeed, that it ill becomes me to speak in this manner of myself, but my object in doing so is, that as I am about to enter into communications touching your lordship's tenants and property, you may be induced to place the fullest confidence in whatever I shall say. Many a time, indeed, my excellen

ds upon his tenantry besides the payment of their rents. Is there no stress, for instance, to be laid upon his political influence, which cannot be exerted unless through their agency? Now a tenant not in arrears to his landlord is comparatively independent, but it is not with an independent tenantry that a landlord can work his wishes. No, my Lord; the safe principle is to keep the tenant two or three gales behind, and if he fails in submission, or turns restiff, and

may be taught to think too clearly. For let me ask, my Lord, what class of persons, at the approach of an election, for instance, or during its continuance, are most available for our interests? Who are driven without reluctance, without thought, or without reason, in blind and infatuated multitudes, to the hustings? Certainly not those who have been educated, or taught to think and act for themselves; but the poor and the ignorant. And, my Lord, is not the vote of an ignorant man as valid in law

m sending their children to these schools; but, as usual, I experienced but little gratitude at their hands, or at those of their parents. This, however, was not so much owing to my interference, as t

every day becoming more aware of the very kind of knowledge which we don't wish them to possess. They do not slink aside when they see you now; on the contrary, they stand erect

have the reputation of being very honest and saving-Old M'Swaddle himself was a revenue collector, and it is said, died richer than they are willing to admit. Cracknaboulteen is altogether in the possession of the celebrated family of the M'Kegs-or, as they are called, the Five Sols-the name of each being Solomon, which is shortened into Sol. There is lame Sol, blind Sol, long Sol, uncertain Sol, and Sol of the mountain. They are celebrated distillers of poteen whiskey, but are not rich. The estate, in fact, would be better without them, were it not for their votes. The

cceed in purifying this fountain-head of bigotry and unconstitutional principle-I do not wish to use a shorter, but a much stronger term-I cannot yet say. I shall, at all events, from a sense of justice to you, my Lord, and of kindness-mistaken it may be, I grant you-to them, continue to make the desirable attempt. My amiable friend, Hickman, has certainly been made the dupe of their adroitness, but, indeed, he is too simple and credulous for this world, as every kind-hearted man, with great benevolence and little j

e, and that I am by no means in good odor with them, you will not be surprised when I furnish your lordship with a key to this same state of feeling which exists so generally in this country. This, then, my Lord, is the secret:-whenever an Irish agent devotes himself honestly to the wants, wishes, and interests of his employer, especially if he be needy and pressed for money, so sure will he become

onable terms, were it not for the discouraging system adopted by Mr. Hickman. As it is, I must see what can be done; but your lordship knows that I can take no step either in this or anything else

AKE A FORTY SHIL

ave from four to ten children, as a proof of his standing in society, all fashionably dressed, and coming at the rate of one every twelve months. Having thus, by a liberal system of feeding and clothing, rendered him strong for labor, you must work him from dark to dark-pay him fourpence a day for three quarters of the year, with permission to beg or starve for the remainder. When in health task him beyond his strength, and when sick neglect him-for there is nothing so beautiful as kindness in a landlord, and gratitude in a tenant-and thus will your virtues become reciprocal. He must live under a gradation of six landlords, so that whoever defaults, he may suffer-and he will have the advantage of six tyrants instead of one. Your agent is to wheedle, and your bailiff to bully him; the one must promise, and the other threaten; but if both fail, you must try him yourself. Should he become intractable under all this, you must take purer measures.-Compliment him on his wife-praise and admire his children-play upon his a

to be, &c., &c.,

omon M'Slime, Esq.

AR

sum of two thousand pounds. It is a thing very usually done, I am aware, and by men who would not bear any imputation against their honor. But I know not how it is, his letter has deterred me from taking the money in that light. It would be certainly too bad to allow a person of his birth and standing in the world to teach one of mine a lesson in delicacy of feeling.

s, CU

d should the election take place, I trust you will have the kindness to let me know if there's e'er a pretty girl in the neighborhood-that wants a friend and protector-ha, ha, ha-as great a sin

MBE

l M'Clutchy, encl

ar

m to run into arrears. This certainly keeps the money out of my pocket, and you cannot surely expect me to countenance such a proceeding as that:-whilst I say this, it is due to you that I consider your ultimate object a correct one. Property loses a great portion of its value, unless a landlord's influence over the people be as strong as his right to the soil; and for this reason, the duty of every landlord is to exercise as powerful a control over the former, and get as much out of the latter as he can. The landlords, to be sure, are of one religion and the people of another; but so long as we can avail ourselves of the latter for political purposes, we need care but little about their creed. The results in this

maintain our proper influence over them, I thin

thousand of it. It strikes me, that you would do well to put on a manner in your intercourse with the tenants, as much opposed to Hickman's as possible. Be generally angry, speak loud, swear roundly, and make them know their place. To bully and browbeat is not easily done with success, even in a just cause, although with a broken-sp

system of franchise. I have little else to say, except that you will find it necessary I think to be very firm and rigorous. Remember that we are here to-day, and gone to-morrow; so upon this principle keep them moving

s, "C

sq., Attorney-at-l

teemed

trast his quickness, clearness, honesty, and skill, with the evident want of--but no, my Lord; far be it from me, as a Christian man, to institute any rash comparison either in favor of my fellow-creature or against him, so long as sin and prejudice even for that which is good, and frailty, may render us, as they often do, liable to error. In Mr. M'Clutchy it is possible I may be mistaken; in Mr. Hickman it is possible I may be mistaken-I am not infallible-I am frail-a very sinner, but not removed wholly, I would trust, out of the range of grace. My Lord, I say again, that, as a conscientious man, and as far as mere human reason-which is at best but short-sighted-enables me to judge, I am truly cheered in spirit by this, I trust, providential change in the agency of your property. My Lord, in my various correspondence, I generally endeavor to make it a rule not to forget my Christian duties, or, so to speak, to cast a single grain of the good seed into the hearts of those to whom I am privileged to write. The calls of religion are, indeed, strong upon us, i

thy, "But faithful and honore

usness of character, as to render the act of kindness and protection on your part such as might confer a competent independence upon a female of religious dispositions, I doubt not,

without conscience or honesty, and, withal, utterly destitute of religion-not but that they carry themselves very plausibly to the world. Among such people, my Lord, it is not possible that this eng

the ho

tchy, Esq., to

ear M

should treat the other with the most perfect confidence. For this reason, I beg to assure you, once for all, that in any proceeding that may appear harsh towards any of his lordship's tenantry, I am and shall be actuated by no other feeling, than a strong, conscientious sense of my duty to him. This is, was, and will bo t

morally speaking-visited upon him who allowed them to lapse. Now that the fine old leases of the M'Loughlins and the Harmans, and others, have dropped, what can I do but study Lord Cumber's interest, in the first instance? Not but I would serve them if I could, and will if I can. I bear them no ill-feeling; and if they have joined in the calumnies and threats that are so unjustly uttered against me, what can I do, and what ought I do, but return good for evil? You, as a truly religious and pious man, will feel delighted to support me in this princ

p's rights. They are duty-turkies, and I do not think they will eat the worse for the

estates, in the best possible condition to serve him. His property, in fact, is not represented in the grand jury panel of the county. This is a great loss to him-a serious loss. In the first place, it is wretchedly, shamefully deficient in roads-both public and private. In the next place, there are many rents left unpaid, through the inability of the people, which we could get paid by the making of these roads, and other county arrangements, which the ill-thinking call jobs. In the third and last place, he has on his property no magistrate friendly to his aforesaid interests, and who would devote himself to them with suitable energy and zeal. Indeed, with regard to the murmurings and heart-burnings alluded to, I fear that such a magistrate will soon become a matter of necessity. There is a

uch better grace than they would from me. Tell him in your own peculiar way, that he shall have the two thousand for the magistracy. That is my first object

My dear M'Slime, &c,

ut a certain farm-but mum's the word-only

to the Right H

acious

kindred spirits, and consequently experienced both nourishment and edification from the draught. It was then, my Lord, that it was given me to turn my mind upon the transaction alluded to, I mean the condition of paying two thousand pounds for the privilege of managing your property. Indeed the thing was vouchsafed to me in this light;-your property, my Lord, is not represented in the grand panel of the county, which is certainly a serious loss to you, as there is no one here to advocate your interests, especially since poor Mr. Deaker's infirmities (would that they were all only of the body!) have caused him to attend the grand jury less frequently. Many arrangements might be advantageously made, by which your lordship would indirectly benefit;-that is, the money, so to speak, might be made to go into one pocket, in order that it should be transferred to yours. Then you have not; a magistrate in your estates devoted to your special interests, as you ought to have; this is a very necessary thing, my Lord, and to which I humbly endeavor to d

to be, my Lord,

alculated to advance the best interests of general religion

to Solomon M

that between you and him, you will take out of these farms all that can be taken. Of course M'Clutchy and you are at liberty to revive anything you like, provided it be done properly. What is it to me, who never go there? I do believe Hickman wa

ou

UM

woman was a widow merely because her husband was transported, as he ought to be, for sheep stealing, or because he happened to live, by comp

mbe

me, Esq., to

acious

by death, and the widow by local separation from her husband. Indeed the latter is a class that requires as much sustainment and comfort as the other-being as they are, more numerous, and suffering all the privations of widowhood, poor things, except its reality. The expression, my Lord, is figurative, and taken from the agricultural occupation of ploughing; for whenever one animal is unyoked for any other purpose, such as travelling a journey or the like, the other is forthwith turned into some park or grassy paddock, and indeed generally enjoys more comfortable times than if s

h profound humility, "Your Lordship'

chy, Esq., J. P.

Lo

e syllable should escape either my tongue or pen, that might injure that gentleman's character. The path of duty, however, is often a stern one, as I find it to be on the present occasion. The truth, then, is, that I fear Mr. Hickman must have kept the disturbed state of your tenantry from your Lordship's knowledge, owing probably to a reluctance in exposing his own laxity of management. Indeed, I wish I could with a conscientious sense of my duty to your Lordship end here, so far as he is concerned. But under every circumstance, truth, and honesty, and candor, will in the long run tell for themselves. It is an unquestionable fact, then, that from whatever cause it may proceed, your tenantry and he, ever since my appo

e notion of communicating with government on the subject, but I have not as yet been able to get any information sufficiently tangible to work on. In the meantime, I think the wisest and most prudent steps I could take for your Lordship's advantage, would be to get them as quietly as possible off the estate. I think, from a twofold sense of duty, I shall be forced to do so. Their leases very fortunately have dropped in the first place, and it will not be your interest to renew th

dship the last remittance. He is truly zealous in your cause, but I regret to say, that I am not likely to be able to avail myself long of his services. He is about taking a large farm in a different part of the country with a view to marriage, a circumstance whic

nor to be, my

r to Val M

ar

der agency is vacant, I request you will let him have it-and, if he wants a farm to marry on, try and find him one somewhere on the estate: who has a better right? and, I dare say, he will make as good a tenant as another. As to Hickman, I think you are quite mistaken, the truth being that he resigned, but was not dismissed the agency, and if he h

ly yours,

all have no tenant under me who will create disturbance or sow dissension among the people. I t

mbe