DEAD OR ALIVE

uder than my own thoughts. Midn

t, like it had absorbed the wei

knees drawn to my chest, my heart pounding in uneve

but it wasn't peaceful, it wa

were. I prayed Lorien wasn't awake, hearing the ech

g under her blanket, flinching at imagined shadow

ur bedroom? Lately, it felt more like a battlefield, a p

s cut sharper

me out of the bedroom and leaving me to piece

e edge of the photo

y, me in a lace gown, him in a crisp

shoulders as if he could

vowed to keep me safe had becom

osed to be for me is

single jagged line split my face in tw

threw the remote across

hoved me against the wall for

ether now. Pain had

idge between two worlds, the fragile innocence of my c

them that I'd find a way out. Take them out of here

r makes promises she i

floorboards ups

darted to the front door. I hadn't locked it yet. I always left

idn't come agai

th and leaned back, st

rely audible. "How did I get he

l. His charm had been like sunlig

me feel seen like I was th

sed, I said yes w

d conquer anything. I didn't kn

words. I still remember how they stun

ward, of course. He

longer apologize for hurting me ov

hat love is, rig

bruise on my wrist from the

en he saw Kael yell at me, or the way Azra clu

r in my car, parked on the side of

ened again. I waited, listening, every

th

to the mirror hanging on the wall. The reflect

ed with an ugly shade of purple from to

tung every time I

he most. They were hollow, and lifeles

ps of my fingers. The pain was sharp, but it

myself. The words felt foreign like they b

e made me spin around. My heart leap

his blanket, his small face etched with worry. "Mo

forced a smile. "I'm fi

ike mine, scanned my face. I saw the question

my voice firmer

he turned to climb the stairs, he

s," he whispered as he stood

he truth was, I didn't know if I could leave. Not be

ried. Terrified of what the world woul

I was at eye level with him. "I will never l

questions he couldn't bring himself to ask mayb

p the stairs, leaving me al

is words pressed down on me like a boulder. Kael had won.

ope, hope felt too far away. It was more like defi

is footsteps heavy as he

but I didn't f

e front door. I locked it, not to

dn't run. Tonig

e with my two children wit

place to run to with my children even thoug

east experience what peace of mind is eve

would

orrow, I wo