The Boy Who Died

rc

en. I didn't spend all week texting Ben! My breath races.

and a short-sleeved button-down with a tiny print I can't make out from here. Oh, fuck, he's walking over. I shove one of my h

aches. "I should've known you'd beat me here

n die, even if I didn't know that until his mom told me the next d

at his back. He holds his shoulders like Ryan did. I t

he pictures of Ryan on my phone. I can finally prove that my mind is playing trick

y phone likes to hide my hidden folders. But when I click on the bu

ch my whole phone. Not even a single instance of his name, but I guess that's not weir

fter the party, an awful v

idn't really

found it und

't have been Ben. It would've had to be someone I came home with.

n, collapsing my lungs for

ands. "Don't make fun of me, but I think I've had enough of the

ack, or when he'd just pulled an all-nighter, with a shot of espresso. I

of my friends used to make fun of me f

a real hardass. Let me guess, she always sug

at French films. They weren't Ryan's favorite by any means, but he believed directors should wa

don't know if you noticed, but I wa

I was surprised you w

figured it was time to admit that if we did any of

ack in his chair and runs a hand through the flop of sandy hair that nearly falls into his

e of lead. I couldn't forget h

nspiratorially. "It's a unique

or when I was filling out my name-change paperwork. "It was my

ea who I'm named after, but I used to

myself the luxury of actually raising my

y h

so imagine you're Ben A., you're about seven, and you want

no

now your parents moved from New Philadelphia right before you started school." He laughs self-conscio

ecause I knew Ryan at that age-and the story i

t's my mom's favorite Ben-as-a-kid anecd

en to my mom in the five years since my i

e together. I went to college close enough to home to

mom was protective, but that was at least partially bec

tern seaport." He grins. A college town sprouted up around Ardent, and

rora has been my go-to fake hometown for years now, just a fifteen-minute dri

ve actually heard of that.

r of disbelief or he

o happen." He ducks his head. "I'll step out from behi

eyes that Ryan only had when he was completely invested in a project, his fo

Coast cities think looks quaintly Midw

and nods seriously.

d he was nervous. The man in front of me

lips, and he opens one e

of the tension slips