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The Book of Snobs

Chapter 6 On Some Respectable Snobs

Word Count: 1318    |    Released on: 18/11/2017

Snob category, I trust to please everybody in the present chapter, by stating my firm opinion that it is amo

of May Fair, where Mrs. Kitty Lorimer's Brougham may be seen drawn up next door to old Lady Lollipop's belozenged family coach;- I roam through Belgravia, that pale and polite district, where all the inhabitants look prim and correct, and the mansions are painted a faint whity-brown: I lose myself in the new squares and terraces of the brilliant bran-new Bayswater-and-Tyburn-Junction line; and in one and all of these districts the same truth comes across me. I stop before any house at hazard, and say, 'O house, you are inh

or the room and bouquets for the ladies cost four hundred pounds. That man in drab trousers, coming crying down the stops, is a dun: Lord Loughcorrib has ruined him, and won't see him: that is his lordship peeping

for them, are on board wages - two huge footmen in light blue and canary, a fat steady coachman who is a Methodist, and a butler who would never have stayed in the family but that he was orderly to General Scraper when the General distinguished himself at Walcheren. His widow sent his portrai

g to her the greatest and best in the world. The first of men naturally are the Buckrams, her own race: then follow in rank the Scrapers. The General was the greate

e did not. She subscribes to Church and parish charities; and is a directress of meritorious charitable institutions - of Queen

; for while she walks out, protected by John, that domestic has always two or three mendicity tickets ready for deserving objects. Ten guinea

is still young - young and hungry. Is it a fact that she spends her pocket-money in buns? Malicious tongues say so; but she has very little to spare for buns, the poor little hungry soul! For the fact is, that when the footmen, and the ladies' maids, and the fat coach-horses, which are j

estical hooked nose;- you would not think it when you hear 'Lady Susan Scraper's carriage' bawled out at midnight so as to disturb all Belgravia:- you would not think it when she comes rustl

garters! how she would start if she heard that she - she, as solemn as Minerva - she, as chaste as D

arading abroad, like Solomon in all his glory; as long as she goes to bed - as I believe she does - with a turban and a bird of paradise in it, and a court train to her night-gown;

st placid, polite, and genteel of Snobs, who never exceeded his allowance of two hundred a year, and who may be seen any eveni

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The Book of Snobs
The Book of Snobs
“We have all read a statement, (the authenticity of which I take leave to doubt entirely, for upon what calculations I should like to know is it founded?)— we have all, I say, been favoured by perusing a remark, that when the times and necessities of the world call for a Man, that individual is found. Thus at the French Revolution (which the reader will be pleased to have introduced so early), when it was requisite to administer a corrective dose to the nation, Robespierre was found; a most foul and nauseous dose indeed, and swallowed eagerly by the patient, greatly to the latter’s ultimate advantage: thus, when it became necessary to kick John Bull out of America, Mr. Washington stepped forward, and performed that job to satisfaction: thus, when the Earl of Aldborough was unwell, Professor Holloway appeared with his pills, and cured his lordship, as per advertisement, &c. &c.. Numberless instances might be adduced to show that when a nation is in great want, the relief is at hand; just as in the Pantomime (that microcosm) where when CLOWN wants anything — a warming-pan, a pump-handle, a goose, or a lady’s tippet — a fellow comes sauntering out from behind the side-scenes with the very article in question.”