The Mistake Painful

“One relationship was ruined because of a one-night mistake. "You are my wish to the Father, I pray that He grants you to me." That was my only prayer, but this is not the situation I wanted. I never intended to ruin a relationship, nor did I want to hurt another person. What happened in the past was unexpected, and now, here I am, facing the consequences of my actions. I'm married to a man who does not love me, and who never will, because he only sees me as a friend. "Wait for the love you deserve," as people often say. That's why all I can do is pray and dream that someday, the love I give him will be returned. Actually, I am his legal wife, but I let him do whatever he wants with his life. I also allow him to continue his relationship with the woman he loves, the one he's cared for from the very beginning. I'm not a martyr-I just want everything to be okay, and I don't want any conflict because I've accepted that this is the fate that's been given to me. We are not bound by love, and I've come to terms with that. I accept our situation, and I understand that we are married only on paper, even though we live under the same roof. I do my duties as a wife, like serving him. I learned to cook because of him, though I can tell he doesn't really eat what I prepare. Life is bitter, but this is who I am. I keep trying, trying to make things work between us, to make everything okay, just like when we were young, because we used to be friends. "Have you eaten?" I asked, seeing him drinking coffee in the dining area, focused on his laptop. I gave a bitter smile, already expecting no answer from him because who am I to deserve his attention? I took a deep breath; he didn't even glance at me. I don't have a contagious disease, yet he treats me as if I have leprosy. "Have you spoken to your father?" he asked emotionlessly, closing his laptop with a thud. "I-I told him," I stammered, bowing my head. "Good," he said and stood up. I watched him walk away without saying anything, then started cleaning the dining area. I noticed him stop, so I also paused, and he turned to face me. "Don't expect me to come home during the weekdays. Don't wait for me on the weekends either," he said seriously. All I could do was nod in agreement to avoid further conflict in our family. I endure this life even though it hurts because I'm the one to blame, and I'm the one who understands, so I carry the burden. "When we're at the camp, Psalm, just ignore me because they don't know we're married on paper," he said irritably and turned away. "I'm sorry," I called out, trying to apologize. My hands trembled as I held his hands with both of mine. "I-I'm sorry," I repeated. He sighed deeply and pulled his hands away from mine. "Your sorry won't change the situation, Psalm!" he replied angrily. "I-I love... you," I said bravely, though my voice was shaky. "But you don't own me," he replied coldly. I took a step forward to face him, but when our eyes met, I quickly looked away, playing with my wedding ring. "What do I have to do for you to forgive me?" I asked. "My freedom!" he answered shortly. "And please, stop wearing that ring because we're not lovers." "As you wish." "Do everything you can to earn my forgiveness!" were his last words before he left without saying goodbye. I exhaled deeply and cried. His request may be unclear, but I promise to find a way to give him the freedom he asks for. Even though I love him deeply, I'm willing to sacrifice for his happiness. "Being in love with someone who no longer loves you is the most painful feeling in the world," I whispered, wiping my tears before running to my room, where I cried my heart out. I let out all the pain through my tears. I released all my frustrations. I screamed and threw whatever I could get my hands on because, no matter how much I break down here, no one would hear me. "A-Ah... it hurts!" I cried out in frustration, burying my face in a pillow to calm myself down because there was no one else to comfort me but me. I got up and looked at the picture of us on our wedding day. I stared at Llishan's face, where you could see the forced smile on his lips. I stood and walked towards the picture, gently caressing his face. "I hope that one day I'll wake up, and the pain I carry will be gone." "I hope that one day this pretending will end. It's hard, but I hope that one day you'll have your freedom, baby, and I hope I'll be able to give you what you're asking for when I'm finally tired." This is the truth I'm standing on! I am Princess Psalm Jaxeen De-Gracia, and he is Mc Llishan Sanchez.”