Instrumental love

“I was holding my heart when I felt the pain again. My breathing increased because I thought I was going to run out of air in my chest. "Engineer Mergus, Ms. is feeling really bad. Ann," I heard my secretary say from outside my room. Is he here again? "Where is she? I want to talk to her." I slowly got up and leaned on the headboard of my bed. I closed my eyes tightly because my stomach hurt more. I took a deep breath and wiped the sweat from my forehead, I was still sweating even though it was cold inside. "Engineer Mergus..." The door opened loudly and I just waited for him to enter. "May Ann..." he uttered my name emphatically and I looked up at him. "What are you doing here?" I asked him coldly. Instead of answering me, he asked me, "How much do you hate your brother?" "What do you mean?" "Your sister is in the hospital and she needs a donor. You know your sister is sick and she was rushed to the hospital but you still stay here as if nothing happened? You are so angry with your sister and you didn't even go to see her?!" he shouted at me. I only felt worse because of the way he showed my anger. "Engineer Mergus..." I signaled Ruthy to go out first. He hesitated because he knew my situation. He did nothing but follow me. "Go to the hospital right now and save your sister, May Ann!" he shouted at me again. My jaw dropped. He is forcing me to go to the hospital just to save the girl he loves? And my brother? Even though I am hurt by what he showed me today, I will not follow him and I will not go to the hospital just to be a donor for my younger brother. "I don't want to," I said emphatically and his jaw tightened. He stepped closer to me and I bravely met his cold eyes. "What do you want? Do I still have to kneel in front of you just, so you can come with me to the hospital now and save Arveliah?" he asked. I wanted to smile at what he said. Is he really ready to kneel to me so that I agree to what he wants? "I am only human, Engineer Mergus. I'm not God so I can save my brother," I said without emotion. "It's just you... Your brother's only hope is you. Only you can save him. Your blood is compatible so you can also be his bone marrow donor... Help him... Put aside your jealousy and anger towards him... I'm the one begging you..." he pleaded and he did what he wanted to happen. Without a doubt he knelt down in front of me so I felt a pain in my chest. They are right, you will do anything even if your pride is stepped on. You don't care as long as the issue is the safety of the person you love. But even if I love him... Even if I love Mergus, I will not follow him. I will not give him what he wants. "No. I'm not mad at my sister and that's not the reason," I said weakly and held my womb. "May Ann..." "I can be his donor because once... I donated blood to him once when we were young but... But I can't help him right now. I'm sorry..." I said and avoided looking at him. "That's how you are... what a selfish person... You're a liar, that your anger is not the reason why you don't want to save Arveliah. You want her gone... You want her to never...get better... It's because of me, isn't it?" he asked me mockingly and I looked back at him. "No. No one wants to lose their only sister, Engineer. But now...I can't help her. You will not be blessed by me," I promised and he stood up from his kneeling position. "Save Arveliah... That's what I'm asking you... I'll do... I'll do everything you want... If it's my heart in exchange, I'll give it..." "I thought too... I thought I got that from you. But I was wrong. If it's not really for me, if it's not meant for me, just don't. We'll still suffer in the end and be hurt more... We can't force something that's not for me, that wasn't given to the two of us..." I thought I had won his heart because I could feel his gradual fall. It started with him taking care of me and appreciating me but... I only experienced that temporarily. "Of all the people in this world... You... you are the only one I know who is so selfish and doesn't care about people, even if they are close to you. You..." It's okay to be selfish, because of the two most important people to me, I'll choose the one who I know won't leave me in the end. That I know...he can love me as much as I love him. I will not sacrifice him just because the man I love and my brother want. I will stand up for my selfishness. "I'll ask you, Engineer... If two people... both are important to you... You would choose one of them, similar to our situation... Who would you choose? The first person you loved, appreciated and gave color to your dark world or the second person that you yourself are the reason why he came to this world and gave him life?" I asked him meaningfully which stopped him. He couldn't speak immediately and just crossed his eyebrows. I thought he wasn't going to answer anymore but...what he answered hurt my heart so much. "The person I first met and appreciated is still heavier,”