Love Among the Chickens

to-day," said

. "Don't forget the Derricks, Millie.""No, dear. Mrs. Beale is going to giv

ff of the farm onmy return, laying stress on the merits of our neighbours and theirinterest in our doings, and the Hired

t/ of a dog bit him, Mr. Garnet. And poorEdwin had to go to a cats' hospital.""And I hope," said Ukridge, "the experience will do him good. Sneakeda dog's dinner, Garnet, under his very nose, if you please. Naturallythe dog lodged a protest.""I'm so afraid that he will be frig

n the afternoon, and wa

as a handsome c

two hours later. Mr. Cha

delighted to come. It was a disappointment to the boy, for hewanted to see t

l-run now,Mrs. Ukridge walking in front with Phyllis Derrick

un, professor," I broke in, with a moist, tinglingfeeling across my forehead and up my spine. I saw the professorstiffen a

some doing, that. By Jove,yes. It was hot work. Nice lot of fowls, aren't they? Rather a mixedlot, of course.

is back gradually relax its poker-likeattitude. The situation was saved for the moment but there was noknowing what fu

ered. "You've no notion howtouchy he is.""

stilted and formal. It's ever so much more friendly to relaxand be chummy."Here we rejoined the others, and I was left with a leaden forebodingof grueso

er heoffended no one, and Phyllis and her father behaved admirably.

, when Ukridge was describing some more than usually originaldevice for the furthering of

no previous experience in

n atom. But Ican turn my hand to anything, you know. Things

his beautiful smoothnessthat I observed the sq

why--I had a feeling tha

of quiet satisfaction w

quent excursus on the feedingof fowls, a subject on which he held views

Beale," cried Mrs. Ukridge in agitation, "/what/ has happened?""Having something to

y to the missis--""If Bob has bitten him I hope he had h

hen ten minutes back. The cat wassitting on the mat."Beale's narrative style closely resembled that of

m, 'and 'ow are /you/, sir?' 'Becareful,' says the missis. ' 'E's that timid,' she s

pal, Corporal Banks.' She grinned at that, ma'am, CorporalBanks being a man we'd 'ad many a 'earty laugh at in the old days. 'Ewas, in a

ch a spitting and swearing as you never 'eard; and blowed," saidMr. Beale amusedly, "blowed if the old cat didn't give one jump, andmove in quic

cooked," cried P

ing the afternoon. And how she's going to light it withthat----"There was a pause wh

ight, if that cat doesn't come down."The professor's face fell. I had remarked on the

inners were plainl

ale was standing in front ofthe empty grate

his, Mrs. Beale

ow I'mto cook dinner for five with him up the chimney I don't see,

t poor Edwin," s

nddrove 'im further up. What must be," added Mrs. Beale philosophica

cnic-dinner, what? Whack up whatever we have in the larder, and eat that.""A regular, jolly picnic-dinner," repeated the professor gloomily

be splendid,"

I will----"Ukridge became gushingly hospitable. He refused to think of allowinghis guests to go empty away. He would be able to whack up something,he said. There was qu

fitful, except on the part of Ukridge, whocontinued to talk easily on all subjects, unconscious of the fact thatthe party was depressed and at least one of his guests rapidlybecoming irritable. I watched the professor furtively as Ukridgetalked on, and that ominous phrase of Mr. Chase's concerning four-point-seven guns kept c

me. It was a meal for the very young or the veryhungry. The uncompromising coldness and so

akish, /nemo-me-impune-lacessit/ air, and I noticed that the professor shivered slightly ashe saw it. Sardines, lo

previous visit to the table. Finally, ablack bottle of whisky stood grimly beside Ukridge'

elvesinto the idea that it was all great fun; but it was a shallow

efore he had got half way through, without a word of apology, andstarted on some anecdote of his own. He furthermore disagreed withnearly every opinion the professor expressed. It is true that he didit all in such a perfectly friendly way, and was obviously so innoce

st after

professor's mention of Dublin, to start upon the Irishquestion. I had been expec

positiveopinions of his own on the subject before I could get near enough tohim to whisper a warning. When I did, I suppose

y one inthis company or out of it. Touchy about Ireland, is it? Touchy--?""But, professor--""Take your hand off my arm, Mr. Garnet. I will not be treated like achild. I am as competent to discuss the affairs of Ireland withoutheat as any man, let me tell you.""Father

cease to-day. Good-night toyou, sir. Come,