A Prefect's Uncle

yn, when he had finished g

ister. You'll find it works out all right. Look here. A, the daughter

juvenile uncle, but the tales had made little impression u

ake your word for it. You seem to

w about it. I say, how far is it to

his uncle was actually coming to the School for

aid, 'are you co

y an uncle four years younger than himself, and manifest

hat did you think I was going t

use are

cest

his most pessimistic moments he had never looked forward to the coming term so gloomily as he di

sn't Leicester's all righ

's a good enough House. At least it will be

how do you get

It isn'

w f

ee m

rter sa

our. I never

k I'm going to walk four miles wit

uarter the School had had for four seasons, had been requested in a peremptory manner by a youth of fourteen, a mere kid, not to rot, the

to the College for seven bob. As it's a short four miles, and I've only got tw

s more than four

o the cabman. 'You are a bally

an the cabman, i

id Farnie. 'Want

ry patronage which made the Bishop's blood boil. But as he intended to inst

d arrows of outrageous fortune which no man can hope to escape, settled

ord?' asked Farnie, after the

'If you'd let us know earlier that you were comi

ictim entirely uncrushed. He should have shrunk and withered up, or at the least have blushed. But he did nothing of the sort. H

s anothe

began Geth

U

a kid like you you've got a good

retended not to be able to hear. He was sorry,

I wasn't listening.' Now, inasmuch as the whole virtue of the 'wretched-little-kid-like-you' argument lies in the crisp despatch with which it is delivered, Gethryn bega

mportant. Now, look here, I just want to give you a few tips about what to do when you get to the Coll. To start

yn was wearing a somewhat swe

to be a Firs

going to take off my tie. I always do, especiall

your beastly cheek,

ame to jump too severely on a new boy on his first day at a large public school, began to think of something conciliatory to say. 'Look here,' he said, 'you'll get on all right at

all

I ought to warn you about. Have

nds, I fancy,' said

said the amazed B

arnie. 'Each worth twen

ndividuals who come to School bursting with bullion, but never before had he set eyes upon such an one. But after a time it began to dawn upon him that for a new boy at a publi

did you get all

ubject of pocket-money. Sometimes he doesn't give me a

say you had the cheek t

I said I wanted to buy a bike. You can get a jolly good bik

oral advice with which he had primed himself would be out of place. Evidently this youth could take quite good care of himself on his own account. Still, eve

ly can give you. When you get to Leicester's, and a beast with a green complexion and an oily smile comes up and

rnie. 'Who is thi

you find the place smelling like an Eau-de-Cologne factory, you'll

dislike the

n them. And there are one or two chaps who have got tons. Monk's one of them. A fellow called Danvers is another. Also a beast of the name of W

m the misty past, 'I was at Harrow before I came here, and at Wellingto

yn ga

you went to Clift

rivate

that he was talking to an entirely raw beginner, made Gethryn feel slightly uncomforta

leave Harro

was the la

there? That sensation and the one Gethryn felt at this unexpected revelation were identical. And the worst of i

he went on hurriedly, 'wh

n, with the monotonous per

and red noses, he suddenly discovered that his host enjoyed both those peculiarities. He struggled manfully with his feelings for a time. Tact urged him to discontinue hi

said, 'to know that I wa

lty refrained from thanki

he drains were bad, the third because they wouldn't teach me shorthand, and the fourth because he didn't like the headmaster's face. I worked off those schools in a year and a half.' Having finished this piece of autobiography, he relapsed into silen

sh this affair up. It's all fearfully funny, but I think you'd enjoy life more if nobody knew this kid was your uncle. To see the head of the House going about with a juvenile uncle in his wake might amuse the chaps rather, a

's Farnie, th

ght then. Go a

ing forth to a knot of fags at one end of the roo

said the Bishop

he was of the relationship, it was not absolutely essential that he should tell everybody that

did follow, but that, to his so

o know? I've just been telling it to some of the chaps in there. Awfully decent chaps. They see

l, calm, concentrated cheek. Then, as if realizing that no words that he knew could do justice to the situation, he raised his foot in

d upon the history of a certain Pollock and an individual referred to throughout as the Porroh Man, the former of whom caused the latter to be decapitated, and was ever afterwards haunted by his head, which appeared to him all day and every day (not excepting Sundays and Bank Holidays) in an upside-d