HER TEARS

“"C-Cashren ..." "Cervin ..." I was shocked when I saw Cervin and ... Cashren on the veranda of our house. I was already staring at my stand while looking at the two of them. There seemed to be thousands of needles stuck in my heart and suddenly it hurt badly. The speed of its pulse and it was as if something was really squeezing him. M-It hurts, it hurts. It hurts me to see them like this. They just stood and faced each other. From where I was standing I looked up at the veranda on the second floor. I could hear what they were talking about. "I miss ... you, babe. W-Where have you been?" Cervin asked in a weakened voice. There was also a hint in her voice that she was crying. I didn't realize that my tears were already welling up and I was covering my mouth so that I couldn't let out my sobs. "I-I've been looking for you, babe. I-I've been looking for you for a long time ..." "Cervin ..." My knees were weakening so I knelt on the grass just outside our mansion. Or just their mansion? I don't belong here, eh. H-I'm not really a real family. P-But I admit that I have fallen in love with them. "M-Mommy?" baby Cerae called me and looked at me confused but when she saw me crying she hugged me. "Hush, mommy ..." "Don't g-go anywhere, babe. H-Don't leave us my son. Please ... d-just stay here ..." Cervin said and he still felt sorry for Cashren. Didn't, Shin initially warn you not to fall for him? H-Don't love Cervin Raeson Vesalius because he has a legal wife and you, you're just his proxy wife. P-But I couldn't stop m-love him, eh. I love him, that it hurts me too. I fell in love with a man I loved in the first place. I fell in love with a married man. A-The pain is over now ... I-He found his wife and I couldn't even prepare. "I love you, Cashren. I l-love you, babe." My heart was broken when I heard the words spoken by the man I loved that I dreamed he would say to me. That I dreamed I could hear from his mouth but I did hear it, though not for me. I let go of baby Cerae's hug and I ran out. "M-Mommy, don't go! M-Mommy ... I'm fine ... Don't m-leave me, m-mommy ..." I no longer ignored Cervin's son even though my heart longed not to leave him. But this is my only choice ... I have no place in their house, I have no place in Cervin's heart. And I know she would rather have her son grow up with its real mother. And I have no right to take it away. I'm no one, a nobody. And I'm st*pid, my t-nga because I love Cervin. Runaway is a best choice and I left them. I am Marshin Escalante, a young woman who just lived on the farm and became the proxy wife of Cervin Raeson Vesalius and this was the first chapter of my life. SOMEDAY, I'LL BE GONE signing off ...”