Chasing the Bliss

“"You can't wait until life isn't hard anymore before you decide to be happy." Nightbird The cold wind blows against my face as I read this quote. I gently tucked my hair to the side to keep it from blowing away in the wind. I hugged myself and looked at the beautiful sky. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. This time I'll choose to follow my heart. I've been running away for almost 5 years and now I've decided to be strong enough to face my past, not for me, but for my little ones. I don't know what's waiting for me, but for them I will lay down all the cards that I have. "Mommy" I opened my eyes and saw Octavia, one of my twin children, running towards me. "Hi, there my little pumpkin" I carried him inside the unit because it was too cold on the balcony of our unit. "Is it true? Is it true?" he eagerly asked me while holding both of my cheeks "What is it baby?" I laughed at this question "We're going to your hometown!" she giggled excitedly "Dada Calyx said we're going to the Philippines" Lincoln suddenly came out of the kitchen followed by Calyx I narrowed my eyes at Calyx because she took the lead in telling the kids again. I sat on a long sofa and held my four-year-old twins. Octavia's eyes are full of excitement while Lincoln's face seems he doesn't like the idea. "I think it's time to go back. I let you see where I grow up" I happily said here "We'll be able to see Daddy, Mommy?" Octavia's eyes lit up at her question while Lincoln waited for me to answer. "Hmmm, I'm not sure baby but Mommy will try my best to look for him, okay?" "Okay, Mommy" the twins answered at the same time before planting a kiss on my cheek. "I'm gonna pack my things now" Lincoln got off my lap first. "I'll come brother" Octavia called here Lincoln stopped and waited for his brother. He holds his sister's hand as they go to their room. I smiled as I saw my son's gesture. "Are you really going to find Hugo?" Calyx suddenly asked me Calyx Estrada, the man who never left my side since I gave birth to the twins. He's my closest friend/bodyguard for almost 5 years. "Maybe? Calyx, I'm still hesitating. What if he rejects the twins? I don't think I can. I can't see their hearts being shattered into pieces" "Yeah, that's my worry too" he sighed before looking at me again. "Are you sure about this? Won't you change your mind?" "I'm tired of running away. It's probably safe to go back to the Philippines. There haven't been any movements lately, right? And how can I take care of what Mommy and Daddy left for me if I'm not there? I think this is the best plan" "I'm not comfortable with your decision but I'll stand by your side. I also have something to go back to the Philippines" and he sniffled and tried to suppress his smile "You're just thinking that you're excited. Are you still in love? It's been a while" and poked her side "Do you still love me?" I was stunned when he returned the question to me. Do I still love you? Yes, it's not lost. Still here. Every time I hear or read his name, my heart still skips a beat. He is still the reason for its disappearance. "It doesn't matter" and just shrugged. I've been living here in the States for 5 years now. I was forced to leave the Philippines because of threats to our lives. My parents got involved with the syndicate. They borrowed a huge amount of money and they didn't pay, so they hunted them down and eventually were killed. I am an only child and because I was the only one left, I was the one who was searched for and it was broken news that my parents left me a large sum of money but I can only get it at the age of 26. My uncle and my cousins ​​secured my life and the twins. Calyx help them out. I may not have the father of the twins by my side but the men in my life stood as their father. Now, I'm tired of running away. I want my hiding to end because I also want my children to have a good life. It's not that I always move them to different places because of the fear that the killers of my parents will find us. Once I get the money I will pay off my parents' debt. I don't know if that will be enough, but I am ready to help my relatives to build it. I just really wanted to start a new life without fears and worries, not only for me, but for my beautiful children. I held my son's hands as we walked in NAIA. "Dada Primo" Octavia shouted and ran to my cousin. Brother Boaz and Brother Pierce also got out of the car next. "Dadas" Octavia excitedly kissed the cheek of my male cousins ​​while they stopped her "My son is very soft" I said to them "It's because our Octavia is so cute," O giggled when Brother Primo tickled her a little "Hi L, don't you miss your dadas?" Brother Boaz asked my son "We just video called earlier, Dada" he said rudely My cousins ​​came close to me and hugged me tightly. "That L is an inheritance from the inheritance. He looks like he still has a habit" said brother Primo with a laugh "Let me get my baby boy" said Brother Pie”