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Sydney Smith

Chapter 6 ST. PAUL'S-THE PARALLELOGRAM-ARCHDEACON SINGLETON-COLLECTED WORKS

Word Count: 14438    |    Released on: 30/11/2017

written to Lord Grey-"You may be sure that any attempt of the Lords to throw out the Bill will be the signal for the most energet

On the 11th of October a public meeting was held at Taunton to protest against the action of the Lords and express unabated confidence in the Government. It was on this occasion that Sydney Smith made the most famo

hat occasion. In the winter of 1824, there set in a great flood upon that town-the tide rose to an incredible height-the waves rushed in upon the houses, and everything was threatened with destruction. In the midst of this sublime and terrible storm, Dame Partington, who lived upon the beach, was seen at the door of her house with mop and pattens, trundling her mop, squeezing out

n to the word with great dramatic skill, he commenced trundling his imaginary mop and sweeping back the intrusive waves of the Atlantic with an air of resolute determination and an appearance of increasing temper. The scene

ted till the day was won. On the 12th of December 1831, the Reform Bill was brought in a third time. It again passed

d in all the great towns before the Bill was brought in. If this is not done-I mean, if Peers are not made-there will be a general convulsion, ending in

wrote Sydney, "to make things safe in Committee." But this extreme remedy was not required. When it became known that the King had given his consent, the opp

s which seem to show that his stock of reforming zeal had already run low. "The New Beer Bill[108] has begun its operations. Everybody is drunk. Those who are

old to fight or to suffer." "I am tired of liberty and revolution! Where is it to end? Are all political agglutinations to be unglued? Are we

ions under the Reform Act,

dity and nonsense wil

this is better than t

under which you hav

aul's began on the 1st of February 1832. On the eve

four o'clock. It is then dark. I recommend her hurrying in three minutes before the Coach departs with her face covered up. But there is a maiden lady w

r in Taunton, she spoke of the Excellence of Public Conveyance

fely accomplished, and on th

as much at her service. She was very ill. I preached to her, not 'of Temperance and Righteousness and Judgement to come,' but said nothing of the two last and confined myself to the first topic. 'Lay aside pepper, and brandy and water,

wrote to his old fri

n to the coachman on leaving any fashionable mansion.[110] I find too (sweet discovery!) that I give a dinner every Sunday, f

ver Toryism, intended to lay reforming hands upon the Church,[111] and the

clergy to look out. I have also a cassock and stock of sermons to dispose of, dry and fit for use." "I am for no more movements: they are not relished by Canons of St. Paul's. When I say, 'no more movements,' however, I except the case of the Universities; which, I think, ou

g in turns sha

itics in boil'

invitation to

ieties they undergo. This day is, unfortunately for me, that on which you have asked me (the 25th of March), when we all dine

n every particular of Chapter affairs: and, on every occasion where his hand appears, I find stronger reasons for respecting his sound judgment, knowledge of business, and activity of mind; abov

1 to inquire into the condition of National Monuments. One frag

would very soon inflict upon that Cathedral the infamy of being a notorious resort for all bad characters; it would cease to be frequent

ary and rebound the books; that he had insured the fabric against fire; and had "brought the New River into the Cathedral by mains." The Verger testified that the monuments had fallen into a dread

d that he had heard from Sydney "by far the best sermon that I have heard in England." Charles Greville wrote;-"He is very good; manner impressive, voice sonorous and agreeable: rather familiar, but not offensively so." Mrs, Austin,[113] who afterwards edited his Letters,

, in Bristol Cathedral. "Never did anybody to my mind look more like a High Churchman, as he

of Queen Victoria's accession. It is a remarkably fine instance of his rhetorical manner. It reveals an ardent and sagacious patriotism. It breathes a spirit of fatherly interest which exc

s, briefly announces his theme. His st

he mourners ready-the dismal march of death prepared. Who are we, and what are we? and for what has God made us? and why are we doomed to thus frail and unquiet existence? Who do

the honesty and patriotism of

ies which devolve upon the young Queen, whom Providence has placed over us: what ideas she ought

people. Of the importance of this I think no reasonable doubt can exist; it does not in its effects keep pace with

uch poetry, by how many beautiful aids of imagination, may not the fine morality of the Sacred Scriptures be engraven on the minds of the young? I believe the arm of the assassin may be often stayed by the lessons of his early life. When I see the village school, and the tattered scholars, and the aged master or mistress te

a Sovereign, with the fine feelings of youth, and with all the gentleness of her sex, should not ask herself, whether the human being whom she dooms to death, or at least does not rescue from death, has been properly warned in early youth of the horrors of that crime, for which his life is forfeited-'Did he ever receive any education at all?-did a

cation, we go on

aste of human affections-you see the breaking of human hearts-you hear the shrieks of widows and children after the battle-and you walk over the mangled bodies of the wounded calling for death. I would say to that Royal child, Worship God by loving peace-it is not your humanity to pity a beggar by giving him food or raiment-I can do that; that is the charity of the humble and the unknown-widen you your heart for the more expanded miseries of mankind-pity the mothers of the peasantry who see their sons torn away from their families-pity your poor subjects crowded into hospitals, and calling in their last breath upon their distant country and their young Queen-pity the stupid, frantic folly of human beings who are always ready to tear

on, the preacher urges the sa

ians have as perfect a right to the free exercise of their worship as the Church itself-that there must be no invasion of the pri

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ng homage with which she is met at every moment of her existence? what other cure than to cast herself down in darkness and solitude before God-to say that she is dust and ashes-and to call down the pity of the Almighty upon her difficult and dangerous life. This is the antidote of kings against the slavery and the baseness which surround them; t

pitulates an

le is never absent from her mind; she takes up this principle at the beginning of her life, and in all the change of servants, and in all the struggle of parties, looks to it as a source of permanent improvement. A great object of her affections, is the preservation

r above the childish follies of false piety, casts herself upon God, and seeks from the Gospel of His blessed Son a path for her steps, and a comfort for her soul. Here is a picture which warms every English heart, and would bring all this congregation upon their bended knees before Almighty God to pray it may be realized. What limits to the glory and happiness of our native land, if the Creator should in His mercy have placed in the heart of this Royal Woman the rudiments of wisdom and mercy; a

London, He held that the parallelogram between Oxford Street, Piccadilly, Regent Street, and Hyde Park, "enclosed more intelligence and ability, to say nothing of wealth and beauty, than the world had ev

long in rural

and parsons dee

d tale of fox,

g, sore vext by

on a winter's

coach the L

ch thing met co

r, or evening

city-sight, ea

anxiously to the return of the bad weather, coal fires, and good society in a crowded city." "The country is bad enough in summer, but in winter it is a fit residence only for beings doomed to such misery for misdeeds in another sta

out as often as he liked, and entertained his friends at breakfast, luncheon, and d

nse of the moment from

nothing rema

and nature, and a lar

pp

me of his i

ten o'clock precisely? Nothing taken for granted! Everyth

f philosophers to-mor

s, crumpets and contra

. I will give you ver

ned with affectionat

next week to the fol

Lady Georgiana loves

Eastlake, Lord and La

ampbell, Lady Strathe

Hope. Second dinner

Denman, Lord and Lady C

s Lemon, Mr. Hibbert

ren

ting happiness. In the spring of 1834 their elder daughter, Saba, was marr

assured that it makes my old age much happier to have placed

er he wrote fro

opes we shall have some 'cases': I am keeping three or four simmering

of the House of Commons, and a Whig Government was formed again under Lord Melbourne. Henry Labouchere,[116] M.P. for Taunton, accepted office, and thereby vacated his seat. On seeking re-election

e country relapsed into its normal c

ntry is that a joke once established is good for ever; it is like the stuff which is

fic; but Sydney comforted himself with the reflection that, "as I had so little life to lose, it wa

same pleasure as it

my days in it. I suspect the fifth act of life should be in great cities: it is ther

he Rochers de Cancale, an almond tart at Montreuil, or a poulet à la Tartare at

te Mr. Gladstone in 1879, "in the year 1835 that I met Mr. Sydney Smith for the first time at the table of Mr. Hallam. After dinner Mr. Smith was good enough to converse with me, and he spoke, not of any general changes in the prevailing tone of doctrine, but of the improv

ns with an attack on the constitution of the Commission. It was stuffed with Bishops. Deans and Canons and Rectors and Vicars and Curates had no place upon it. The result was that all interests, not episcopal, had been completely overlooked, and that the reforms, though perhaps theoretically sound, were practically unworkable. Further, the reforms had been far too extensive. The plan of making a Central Fund from the proceeds of confis

zeal; and plague your heart out with their nonsense and absurdity. Cribbage must be played in caverns, and sixpenny whist take refuge in the howling

. The property of Cathedrals could only be c

anterbury is not obedience to an Act of Parliament, but the very Act of Parliament, which takes away, is recommended, drawn up, and signed by the person who has sworn he will never take away; and this little apparent inconsistency is not confined to the Archbishop of Canterbury, but is shared equally by all the Bishop-Commissioners, who have all (unless I am grievously mistaken) taken similar oaths for the preservation of their respective Chapters. It would be

*

ar occasions, and to contrast such speeches with present opinions-and therefore I forbear to introduce some inviting passages upon taking oaths in thei

n power and patronage at the expense of the Deans and Chapters. Sydney Smith, as a member of a Chapter, prote

gether. Be it so; I am quite ready to be swept away when the time comes. Everybody has his favourite death: some delight in apoplexy, and others pref

only an imperfect sympathy. He held that they could not be trusted to deal fairly and reasonably

sed in a magnificent dress, decorated with a title, flattered by Chaplains, and surrounded by little people looking up for the things which he has to give away; and this often happens to a man who has had no opportunities of seeing the world, whose parents were in very humble life, and who has given up all his thoughts

y good for Bishops to hear the voice of candid criticism, and t

upon them. They walk delicately, like Agag. They hear only one sort of convers

o all these attacks on the Church and the Chapters,

t their battles, and when I saw no other Clergyman turn out but myself-and this in times before liberality was well recompensed, and therefore in fashion, and when the smallest appearance of it seemed to condemn a Churchman to the grossest

d impervious to arguments thus enforced. On the 10th of February, Sydney

e idea of convincing a Russell that he was wrong never came across my mind. Euclid would have had a bad chance with you if you had happened to have formed an op

blished a second Letter

kney horse. I began writing on the subject in order to avoid bursting from indignation; and, as it is not my habit to recede, I will go on till the Church of England is either up or down-semian

near the Cathedral, and who have no duty except to enjoy their incomes. Those prebends Sydney Smith, as a real though temperate reformer, would now surrender, and make from them a fund to enrich poor livings. But for the prebends of the Residentiaries, who perform the daily duties of

nons, and Sexton, you would have had huntsman, whippers-in, dog-feeders, and stoppers of earths; the old squire, full of foolish opinions and fermented liquids, and a young gentleman, of gloves, waistcoats, and pantaloons

abolition of these ecclesiastical prizes would l

s evil (as I have often said before) is done to the Church-the service becomes unpopular, further spoliation is dreaded, the whole system is considered to be altered and degraded, capital is withdrawn from th

*

uced by the confiscation of the Cathedral property, I am convinced they would reject the measure, and prefer splendid hope, and the expectation of good fortune in advanced life, to the trifling improvement of poverty w

*

other preferment all over the kingdom: and this at a moment when such extraordinary power has been suddenly conferred upon the people, and when every atom of power and patronage ought to be husbanded for the Crown. A Prebend of Westminster for my second son would soften the Catos of

bout Church Property, that I am much afraid they will do more harm than good. In the time of Lord George Gordon's riots, the Guards said they did not care for the mob, if the Gentlemen Volunteers behind would be so good as not to hold their muskets

and reminds the Archbishop of Canterbury that he has sworn to protect

a proxy sent down in the Canterbury Ply, to take the Creator to witness that the Archbishop, detained in town by business or pleasure, will never violate that foundation of piety over which he presides-all this seems to me an act of the most extraordinary indolence ever recorded in history. If an Ecclesiastic, not a Bishop, may express any opinion on the reforms of the Church, I recommend that Archbishops and Bishops should take no more oaths by proxy; but, as they do not wait upon the Sovereign or the Prime Minister, or even any of the Cabinet, by proxy, that they should also perform all religious acts in their own person ... I have been inf

if a fund for the improvement of poor benefices was to be created, it must be drawn fr

end, as it were, the Orthodox gastronome from the fierce Unitarian, the fell Baptist, and all the famished children of Dissent? I don't object to all this; because I am sure that the method of prizes and blanks is the best method of supporting a Church which must be considered as very slenderly endowed, if the whole were equally divided among the parishes; but if my opinion were different-if I thought the important improvement was to equalize preferment in the English Church-that such a measure was not the one thing foolish, but the one thing needful-I should take care, as a mitred Commissioner, to reduce my own species of preferment to the narrowest limits, before I proceeded to confiscate the property of any other grade of the Church.... Frequently did Lord John meet the destroying Bishops; much did he commend their daily heap of ruins; sweetly did they smile on each other, and much charming

went on to a stricture

quoted in a thousand for

o the critic and to th

e read in connexio

binet decided that Lord John must take it. He doubted his fitness for the post, but said that even if he were called to take command of the Channel Fleet,

th or without ten minutes' notice) the command of the Channel Fleet; and no one would discover by his manner that the patient had died-the Church tumbled down-and the Channel Fleet been knocked to atoms. I believe his motives are always pure, and his measures o

se improvements, and pointed out that they materially affected the well-being of the parochial clergy. But, as regards the dealings of the Commission with Chapters and Cathedrals, he remains convinced that they were

nd security to rebuke the correspondent of Ar

ave been appointed for my piety or not, must depend upon what this poor man means by piety. He means by that word, of course, a defence of all the tyrannical and oppressive abuses of the Church which have been swept away within the last fifteen or twenty years of my life; the Corporation and Test Acts; the Penal Laws against the Catholics; the Compulsory Marriages of Dissenters, and all those disabling and disqualifying laws which were the disgrace o

account of his failing eyesight; and Sydney, flinging him contemptu

anctioned; abolishing ecclesiastical dignities which every reformer had spared; thrusting an anap?est into a verse, which will not bear it; and intruding a Canon into a Cathedral, which does not want it; and this is the Prelate by whom the proposed reform of the Church has been principally planned, and to whose practical wisdom the Legislature is called upon to defer. The Bishop of London is a man of v

he wrote to a

l grumbler against him and his measures-I really am not: I like the Bishop and like his conversation-the battle is ended, and I have no other quarrel with him and the Archbishop but that they neither of them ever ask me to dinner. You s

rtenay Smith died suddenl

h in India, and a third

erring to these circums

ey w

for my few remaining y

Reduced, I read Sene

t intolerab

the greatest part of my

most people, but I ca

every guinea

one, including women, universal corruption, systematic lying, and a victory for the "lower order of voters" over their "betters." Of the great advocate of the Ballot, George G

ged edition. The articles reprinted from the Edinburgh amount to sixty-five, and a memorandum by his daughter shows that twelve more were omitted from the reproduction, "probably becau

orks of the Rev. Sydney Smith, the author said, after recounting

dicrous are the changes in human affairs. The Tories are now on the treadmill, and the well-paid Whigs are riding in chariots: with many faces, however, looking out of the windows (including that of our Prime Minister[132]), which I never remember to have seen in the days of the poverty and depression of Whiggism. Liberality is now a lucrat

the Evangelical clergymen of the Church of England." The fun in this article is chiefly gleaned from the pages of the Evangelical Magazine and the Methodist Magazine. Here we have the affecting story of the young man who swore, and was stung by a bee "on the tip of the unruly member," "one of the meanest of creatures" being thus employed "to reprove the bold transgressor." Not less moving are the reflections of the religio

ied by a "mixed multitude who spoke almost all languages but that of Canaan"; and started a weekly hoy

f serious charact

young woman, as s

ng man who has brewed

He honestly believed that "enthusiasm" in religion tended to hysteria and insanity; that it sapped plain morality; and turned the simple poor into "active and myste

al quaintness of religious phrase and thought gave him the necessary material for his fun. As he had found delight in the proper names of Methodist ministers-Shufflebottom and Ringletub[134]-so he delighted in lampoonin

his stomach from that very oppressive complaint, said his mind was even th

wn journal was calcul

asant and profitable day: our con

leasant and profit

with one. Had much sw

-day. Found much pleas

ce of God in the Da

etness to-day, especia

rm

place, because of the presence of God with the vilest of men

burgh Review rebuked his contributor for "levi

lish notions of religion. The more absurd the passage, the more necessary it

ble to conceive of the passion for spreading the Gospel which drove men from all that is enjoyable in life to slave and die under Indian suns. He seems genuinely to believe that

of men who were discreet as well as devout, we should consider it to be a scheme of true piety, benevolence, and wisdom: but the baseness and malignity of fanaticism shall never prevent us from attacking its a

ner was, to the ground formerly traversed, and claims the

trash as we were obliged to work through, in our articles upon the Methodists and Missionaries,

acteristic vigour. Prominent among these was the Rev. John Styles, and Mr. Styles, unhappily for his

, in the minds of the humane, a great degree of mysterious terror. A drawing of the kime was imperiously called for; and the want of it is a subtle evasion, for which Mr. Styles is fairly accountable. As he has been silent on this subject, it is for us to explain the plan and nature of this terrible and unknown piece of mechanism. Kimes, then, are neither more nor less than a false print in the Edinburgh Review for knives; and from this blunder of the printer has Mr. Styles manuf

cle, the writer glorie

is beginning to harr

tory orders have been issued to send all the missionaries home upon the slightest appearance of disturbance. Those who have sons and br

animates the article on Hannah More; and here again the criti

g their persons in the present style of dress, and then says, if they knew their own interest-if they were aware how much more al

s possessor, they would dress decorously from mere self-love, if not from principle. The designing would assume modesty as an artifice; the

dity becomes a virtue; and no decent woman

nd in "Mad Quakers," with its study of the improved methods of treating lunacy; "Chimney-Sweepers," "Game-Laws," "Spring-Guns," "Prisons," and "Counsel for Prisoners." Each of these essays shows a deliriously warm sympathy with the sufferings of the downtrodden and the friendless; and a curiously intimate knowledge of matters which lie q

knew the use of red tape, and was utterly unfit for the common business of life. That a guinea represented a quantity of shillings, and that it would barter for a quantity of cloth, he was well aware; but the accurate number of the baser coin, or the just m

*

ssuage the angry passions, and arrange the conflicting interests of nations; whatever could promote peace, increase knowledge, extend commerce, diminish crime, and encourage industry; whatever could exalt human character, and could enlarge human understanding

d not quote a better s

] Travels in S

read upon him, he puts you to death for your clumsiness, merely because he does not understand what your clumsiness means; and certainly a snake, who feels fourteen or fifteen stone stamping upon his tail, has little time fo

f Cayenne, and measuring the force of tropical intonation by the sounds of a Scotch duck! The Campanero may be heard three miles!-this single little bird being more powerful than the belfry of a cathedral, ringing for a new dean-just appointed on account of shabby po

a bill a yard long, making a noise like a puppy dog, and laying eggs in hollow trees? The Toucans, to be sure, might retort, to what purpose were gentlemen in Bond Street created? To what purpose were certain foolish prating M

mole to the ground, the sloth to the tree; but what is most extraordinary, he lives not upon the branches, but under them. He moves

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I saw' (says Mr. W.) 'with sorrow, that death was going to rob us of him. We talked of stuffing quadrupeds; I agreed that the li

*

nd breathe flies. Lizards, cockroaches, and snakes, got into the bed; ants eat up the books; scorpions sting you on the foot. Every thing bites, stings, or bruises; every second of your existence you are wounded by some piece of animal life that nobody has over seen before, except Swammerdam and Meriam. An insect with eleven legs is swimming in your teacup, a nondescript with nine wings is struggling in the small beer, or a caterpillar with s

lse, he clinched an argument with a masterpiece of fun. The first is the warning to the United States against the love of military gl

wrote to

making jokes; but that I had made use of what little powers of pleasantry I might b

se in Green Street, he received his friends with what he himself so excellently called "that honest joy which warms more than dinner or wine"; but he went less than of old into general society. Le

f singing men and singing women? A Canon at the Opera! Where have you

d, and, as always, he loved a gibe at the clergy. On the 30th of November 1841, Samuel Wilbe

n in the dinners of New Zealand. Tête d'évêque will be the most recherché dis

ney's own versi

othing on my own table suited to your tastes, but you will find plenty of cold curate and roasted clergyman on the sideboard'; and if, in spite of this

amphleteer had not yet done with controversy. In 1842 he published three Letters on the Mismanagement of Railways,[141] and in 1843 two on a tend

killed and wounded is extensive. I have several quires of paper

who are advocates for paying debts, and very abusive let

ds' concerns, his enjoyment of good company, and his kindness to young people. Here is a charming letter, writte

at nothing profane can approach you; to be certain that a Dissenter can no more be found in the Palace than a snake in Ireland, or ripe fruit in Scotland; to h

sermon on Peace, and rebuking the "excessive proneness to War." "I shall try the same subject again-a subject utterly untouched by the clergy."[143] The summer passed in its usual occupations, and on the 28th of July he preached for the last time in the pulpit of the Cathedral. His subject was

a deep impression upon my mind of the uncertainty of human life,

he country; passing from the sauces of Dives to the sores of Lazarus." His bodily discomforts

f the Church. You would plunge a poisoned pin into your heart, and

ms perfectly fitted up for illness and death." This phrase occurs in the last of his published letters, dated the 7th of November 1844. It was now pronounced that his disease was water on the chest, c

of £120 per annum on a poor, worthy, and friendless clergyman, who had lived a long life of struggle with poverty on £40 per annum. Full of happiness and gratitude, the clergyman entreated he might be allowed to see my father; but the latter so dreaded any agitation

1845, and was buried by the side of his so

lake, quoted by

lowed any one to retail beer, on m

ot, wife of John,

ved at 33 Charles Street, and s

that the time had come when "scoundrels must be called scoundrels." H

Hart Milman

arah Taylor

d there were no ser

rd Essex at Cassiobury, he noted w

), created Lord

so far as I know, Sydney Smith's o

's Gleanings, v

1783-1842), Canon of Wor

umber

rgotten that a Prebend i

rs

f the eleventh hour abound! and there are some of the first hour, o

ker (1780-1857), M.P.

uel Lee (

Richard Sumn

ink the best reason for destroying the Cathedrals is the abominable trash

rd John

lfourd (1795-1854),

Henry Monk

857) was created Lord Segrave of Berkeley C

ruly the Smiths are a stiff-necked generation, and yet they have all got rich but I. Courtenay, they say, has £150,000, and he keeps

, Banker, Histori

Viscount Melbou

be thought more highly of in consequence of the publication of the Life, though it may be doubted whether his religion was not injured by his strong

inefficient. He dissented, saying, that though all was not done that was projected, or even boasted of, yet that much good resulted; and that wherever Christi

ungay, and Mr. Ringletub at Ipswich; or whether an artful vicis

1-1834), Shoemaker, Orie

2), Historian a

aterton (1782-1

(1748-

rner, M.P., spoke as follows-"He craved the indulgence of the House for a few observations which he had to make. When he got up in the morning and when he lay down at night, he always felt for the Constitution. On this question he had never had but one opinion.

(1809-

"our youthful Gladstone," then recently app

ds Mrs. Malcol

that this Sermon on Pea

put us in mind of the last of all adieus, when the apothecary, and the heir-apparent, and the nurse who weeps for pay, surround the bed; when the curate, engage

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