My Friend the Chauffeur

tier, he said. He had two or three telegrams to send, and one or two little affairs to settle; but he would n

dder sees it," Terry murmured to me; but we had no right to object to the Prince's companionshi

way owing to vibration or any other cause, I should indubitably go swinging out into space; also, that if this disagreeable accident did occur, it would be my luck to have it happen when the back of the car was hanging over a preci

nd enough luggage for ten (I speak of men, not women), we s

ose in her seat and seized my right arm, while Beec

imed. "Tell him not to go so fa

soothingly, primed by my late experience in leaving the Chalet d

d our chauffeur o

ad affected the Vestal Virgin. Somehow I couldn't fancy her clawing weakly at any part of Te

Kidder. "I didn't think it wou

" gasped Beechy, her eyes as round as half-c

face pale, but radiant. "I wouldn't waste time

me, I have always found a certain piquant charm in a timid woman. There is a subtle flattery in her almost unconscious appeal to superior courage in man wh

we sped on towards Mentone, which, with its twin, sickle bays, was suddenly disclosed like a scene on the stage when the curtains have been noiselessly drawn aside. The picture of the beautiful little town, with its background of clear-cut mountains, called fo

t car's going to run us down? And now there's another, coming from behind. They'll crush us between them. Mr. Terrymore, sto

. "I guess together we'd make the fortune of a dime museum, if t

Mr. Terrymore's the queerest man, he's steeri

sured her. "Barrymore is a magnificent driver;

g to hide the fact that she was holding on to the side of the car. "You migh

n the speaker further, she and her mother were clinging

sorry than otherwise when the mariners began to find their own bearings. They saw that, though their escapes seemed to be by the breadth of a hair, they always were escapes, and that no one was anxious except themselves

est in the shops and villas I knew that the worst was over. My arm and knee felt lonely and deserted, as if their

ould he ask for that he had not at this moment? The steering wheel of his beloved motor (preserved for him by my cunning) under his hand; beside him a plucky and beautiful girl; behind him a devoted friend; in front, the fairest country in the world, and a road which would lead him to the Alps and to Piedmont; to stately Mila

air of home, drawn gratefully into the lungs after a long absence. He learned to speak Italian as easily as he learned to walk, and he could pour out liquid line after line of old Italian poetry, if he had not all a British male's self-conscious fear of making an ass of himself. History wa

entered it by this gate, and most of his motoring had been done in France; but I

e was evilly fascinated by a dog which seemed bent on commi

running a few months ago, but now we are wound up, goodness knows how far we'll get. As for Mai

a?" I s

d I suppose she'll go back as soon as she ca

ese hints of the child's about her cousin were gr

because I promised I wouldn't

she

be turned into a stat

erself, but somehow I was not glad. Watching the light glint on a tendril of spun gold which had blown out from the motor-hood, I c

d it out again. With my seven hundred a year, and The Riviera Sun only just beginning to shed a few golden beams, I could not a

ect roads through that radiant summer-land which the Ligurians loved

along their tops devouring trails of ivy with a hundred fiery tongues. White villas were draped with gorgeous panoply of purple-red bougainvillea; the breeze in our faces was sweet with the scent of lemon blossoms and a heavier under-tone of white-belled datura. Far aw

good to be in a motor-car. This last thought made the chorus at the end of each verse for me. I was very glad I had put

im too. This was well, because an unfailing flow of information was included in the five guineas a day,

gan who had loved the Christian maiden; while he described the exquisite walks to be found up hidden valleys among the serrated mountains behind Ment

well as Hercules's rock, Monaco, still their own. He knew, or pretended to know, the precise date when Napoleon III. filched Nice and Savoy from reluctant Italy as the price of he

ay tennis; on all hands we heard the English tongue. Skirting the Old Town, piled high upon its narr

of going further, and I'm sorry to say I left my papers in London, where apparently they've disa

s little whitewashed lair, and asked for

im, with a smile so agreeable that o

o evidently gave even a foreigner credit for wishing to rush bac

our way to Italy and Austria, and may go e

o his lair, consulted a superior officer, and after a long delay returned with the news that

a penny in

receipt for thi

. "I have infinite tru

same," said Terry. "I've never been paperless

wenty more at least to make out a receipt for it. Do let's go on, if he'll let us. I'm dying to see what's on the

sh it," Terry agreed; and our prophetic so

slowly that Terry and I were ashamed for the car, and tried diplomatically to ma

r lounged out of his

pidly and he, playing into my hand, answered as quickly, so that, if our

rejudices so different that people living within ten yards of each other are ready to go to war over them. Here, for instance, though the first thing one thinks of in crossing the bridge is the splendid view, the second thought that comes must be, how bare the Italian country looks compared to t

n being, hard wedges instead of bolsters, and down coverings three feet thick; while another whole people just round a geographical corner fiercely demand brass beds, springy mattresses, and

nomical, and I reckless and

g too busy to pick up the cudgels for his native land. "Probably that's also why I'm a chauffeur while you're an editor," he added, and Miss Destrey

leather, string and rope. And the road you see is strewn with loose stones, though a few metres further back it was so smooth one might dance on it. In dear, lazy Italy, steam-rollers are almost as unknown as dragons. In most districts, i

could not "circulate" on Italian soil. Far above our heads looked down the old, brown keep of the Grimaldis, once lords of all the az

r and more nervous than our faithful "thrum, thrum," called to us to turn our heads; and th

ng alone in it, and announced that he would have overtaken us long ago, had

realized more fully than before her good fortune in having

n. There was no need for him to hurry over the formalities of the douane, he said, for even if he

nt looking leaden seal, passed not too tediously for the ladies. Finally, the Prince saw us off, smiling a "turned-down smile" a

n beach with blue and silver gauze and

, with a curve of the road which plunged us do

laimed the Countess. "Just see that pretty little Mal

in Hanbury-la

incipality like Monacoa? But how funny it should have an English-

entioned on the map; nevertheless it's very real, fortunately for its inhabitants; and here's the gate of the garden which leads to the royal palace. La Mortola is a great

t we should be killing two birds with one stone, and I was glad when the Countess caught eagerly

d, and a moment later were descending a long flight of stone steps to terr

tropical flowers, vivid as flame, burned in green recesses; water-sprites upset their caskets of pearls over rock-shelves into translucent pools where lilies lay asleep, dreaming of their own pale beauty. Long, green

led in, in the foreground, with the figures of men showing the scenery to women? Did any one ever see such a work of art representing a woman as indicating any point of view to a man? No doubt many could have done so; and the

party through avenues of cypresses, to open rock-spaces, or among a waving sea of roses

ed with shells, as when it was fished out of the sea. We enlarged upon the fact that there was no tree, shrub, or blossom on the known face of the earth of which a specimen did not grow at La Mortola; and when we had wandered for an hour in the garden without seeing half there was to see, we climbed the long fligh

ns which offered decent entertainment for man or automobile within reasonable distance, we were to lunch at Ventimiglia, and no arrangement had been made with Dalmar-Kalm concerning this halt. His confidence-perhaps well founded-in the superiority of his speed over ours had led him t

at in the shabby dining-room of a seventh-rate inn (where the flies set an example of attentiveness the waiters did not follow), pretending to eat macaroni hard as walking-sticks and veal reduced to chiffons, I feared the courage of our employers would fail. They could never, in all their well-ordered A

pense of the meal, and Maida and the Countess laughed merrily at everything, even t

lish shop in Paris," said Mrs. Kidder; "but I suppose we'd better not get anything out

t I'm thinking of myself. Cakes and candy on top of those walking-sticks! 'T were mor

out four o'clock, perhaps we shall be glad to stop somewhere,

find her an all-round out-of-doors and indoors girl in one. He always said the combination didn't exist;

on. He remarked calmly that by tea-time we should doubtless have reached San Dalmazzo, a charming little mounta

him!" exclaimed Mrs. Kidder. "He must

ad a break-down

ast night that nothing had ever happened to

"Clever of him to 'project' one for his ca

te shape in leather by several strange and creditably, or perhaps discreditably, original names, but as this flow of eloquence was in German, it could not be appreciated by

eer as to our progress, not an apology for being late. He flung himself into a chair at the table, ordered

utomobile had merely stopped. It must have been the simplest thing in the world for a professional to discover what was wrong; yet this animal, Joseph, could do nothing but poke his nose into the machinery and then shrug his hideous shoulders. Why yes, he had taken out the valves, of course, examined the sparkling plugs, and tested the coil. Any amateur could have done so much. It gave a good spark; there was no short circuit; yet the motor would

said Terry, taking advantage of a pause made by the arrival of

who must be accustomed to accidents of all sorts on a low-powered car, somewhat out of date. But I am not used to having mine en panne. Never mind, it will not happen again. M

tation," Miss Destrey defended us, "but we thought it would b

wait for the "poor Prince." Then, when we were ready, came a violent shower, which meant more waiting, as the Count

speed if we were to arrive at San Dalmazzo even by late tea-time. Terry was on his mett

on the right a deep ditch, and the road between was as round-shouldered as a hunchback. Seeing this natural phenomenon, and feeling the slightly uncertain step of our fat tyres as they waddled through the pasty mud, the pleasant smile of the proud motor-proprietor which I had been wearing hardened upon my face. I didn't know as much about motors as our passengers supposed, but I did know what side-slip was, and I did not think that this

rronade on his horn, to prove how much faster his car could go than ours. In the instant that he was abreast of us, our tonneau, which overhung the back axle further than is considered wis

er covers, which we could not carry as they would lose us too much speed; therefore the danger of side-slip was lessened for him, and he flew by without even knowing how near we had been to an

t. We were nearing a skew bridge, with an almost right-angled approach; and the strange resultant of the nicely balanced forces that control an automobile skating on "pneus" over slippery mud tw

a collapse. "Am I dreaming, or has this happe

ingly, but far from joyous within, I knew. "But it'

turned its nose towards home again, of its own accord. Oh, Sir Ralph, I'm not sure I like motor

ing out Sir Ralph's advertisement in the newspaper. It can't be always changing

lly, but I didn't know that an automobile had the habits of a kangaroo an

mbatting with those which a skater might experience if the hard ice were covered an inch deep with soft soap. "We shall soon be o

refully turned his car on the slippery surface of the road's tortoise-back. I was not happy myself, for it would have been as "easy as falling off a l

air and entered a dim castle, perpetually shuttered and austerely cold. Dark crags shaped themselves magnificently, and the scene was of such wild grandeur that even B

oulder of rock we came upon the Prince's car which we had fancied many kilometres in advance. The big red chariot was stationary, one wheel ti

om rectitude. "She" was taking the hill gaily, pretending not to know it from the level, and it did seem hard to pl

car to anchor without a second's hesitation, drawing up alongside the humiliated red giant. Amid the exclamations of Mrs. Kidder, and the suppressed ch

at sight of the two ministering angels by his side were: "You must have brought me bad luck, I believe. Never have I had an accident with m

rmlike resignation to utter misery was, we had judged, his prevailing characteristic; but hard

nch. "And it is His Highness who broke it, changing speed too quickly, a thing which I have constantl

hed adjutant been a chauffeur instead of a cook, she would have b

shoulders slope; his legs are clothespins bound with leather; his eyes swim in tears, as our car's crankhead floats

shoulders to it, all four, we succeeded after strenuous efforts in pushing and hauling the huge beas

erdict was confirmed. "There's an imperfection in the metal," said expert Terry. In his place, I fear I should not have

on. "After all" (even Terry's generous spirit couldn't resist this one

pe? For wha

lacksmith's, where perhaps a

joking. Twelve horses

smiles. Labour exulting in the downfall of Capitol. But Labour looks good-natured." "Good mo

st Joseph, and against us, he retained enough common sense

guratively speaking only, for it trailed ignominiously behind at a distance of fifteen yards, and when our little Panhard began b

appeared surprised. It was, indeed, literally "taken aback" for an instant, but only for an instant. The brave little beast

. "She might have stoo

in the mud. Seeing how well the experiment was succeeding, however, he quickened his pace and ordered the chauffeur down. "I do not think that the difference in weight will be noticeable," h

with a shorter rope. "Afraid you'll have to walk, Prince," said he, when

e suggested. "Then Joseph could walk, and I could have Sir Ralph's place in the tonneau with the

" I remarked. "We are dragging Goliath; and I fear his head would

ace to keep time with the "Dead March in Saul," I don't pretend to know, but if h