Anne Severn and the Fieldings

the Fieldings. This time it wa

house five minutes be

rol

y said, "her

n when he saw her there in her black frock; and somehow she h

that morning, the day after the funeral. He w

bottom where the goldfish were. It was Jerrold's father who held her hand and talked to her. He had

er the gold

ber ever

le girl before, and they

r tight so that she shouldn't tumble in. She remembered the big grey and yellow house with its nine ball-topped gables; and the lawn, shut in by

the net to please little Colin. She could see him fling back his head and laugh as Colin ran stumbling, waving h

about her. His voice

get on with your boys."

here.) "Ten's an awkwar

young for Elio

en. Eliot, the clever one, was very big

s father answering

. Jerry'll look af

Ade

." (Only somehow he made it

s. Fielding. J

tly and look at the goldfish; but no, not to play. When she thought of her dead mother she was afraid to tell them that she didn't want to go and look at the goldfish. It was as if she

er. Strange and exciting, his boy's voice rang through her sadness; it made her tu

and then the fat goldfish came nosing along, orange, with silver patches, shining, making the water light rou

but somehow they were not so f

spikes all over them. Each carried a tiny gold star at its tip. Thick, cold juice

. She tried t

ecrop. Suddenly

d with the crushed flesh of the stonecrop; her mother stooped and wiped them with her pockethandk

heavy that it kept her from crying; sadness t

wn, quietly, and the day

like-like a

s small daughter of you

said Mr

iff jerk, as if it choke

gstones of the terrace

y beautiful. She lay on her side, heaved up on one elbow. Under her thin white gown you coul

y, holding her little body away from t

of this shrinking. She

her si

she said. "Cl

r a minute, and then stiffen and shrink

the terrace. He leaned over a book: Animal Biology. He was absorbed in

to the back of Anne's neck, where the short curls, black as her frock, sprang out in a thick bunch. The fingers stirred among the roots of Anne's hair, st

thrilling through the back of her neck, how it made her heart beat. Mrs. Fielding's fingers didn't thrill you, they were bl

r to her. Her father had told her she was going to t

ve your head a

idn't

little neck and turning first one ear and than the other

Not-lik

e this. You do

reme

and started up. The beautiful, wilful woman

ittle thing, aren

. She shook her head fie

d after him. They were looking at her. Eliot had ra

u, mater," he said,

say things-as if nobody but yourself had any

h wild animal eyes that

rrold who

u like to see my

the

race, down the steps at the corner and up the drive to the

saying, "I've sense enough to r

rs there was alway

i

with dignity, still smiling. It was a smile of gre

id. "You might move the cushions

about his mother was her dexterity in getting out. She never lost her temper, and never replied to a

happy about her. His father, or Anne's father, could have told him that all her ideas were simple as feelings and impromptu. Impulse moved her, one moment, to seize on the faithful, defiant little heart of Anne, the

o be cool again! T

ling as he did it, for he knew that when his mother was re

supple animal, she turned and se

s the lawn, Anne's father came towa

h bronze. She liked his lean, eager, deerhound's face, ready to start off, sniffing the trail. A little strained, leashed now,

r's; her little nose was still soft and vague; you couldn't tell what she would be like in five y

ed lids, under dark eyebrows; of the innocent white nose; of the whole soft, milk-white face. Even her sleek, dark hair smiled, shi

wall, observed her and thought, "The mater'

ember of the Legislative Council and a widower ought not t

oracic cavity of the rabbit and dissect away the thymous gland and other tiss

would show him

He's a butterfly

nose that went in and out, pushing against her mouth, in a delicate palpitation. He was white, with black ears and a black

weet," s

"He is sweet." Colin had a habit of repeating what yo

e felt the rabbit's heart beat sharp and quick agai

r heart swelled and shook

s he tre

ed. Don't touc

e put his hands in his pockets to keep them out of temptatio

iresomely blue, blue all the time, like his mother's, but secretly and surprisingly blue, a blue that flashed at you and hid again, moving queerly in the set squareness of his face, presenting at every turn a different Jerrold. He had a pleasing straight up and down nose, his on

er in his white flannel

t her, just as h

ike him?"

? Co

Ben

ove

o you if you'd l

own? T

the

you wan

d like you t

Jer

ng her Benjy because

e, and the fawn, and

hall lo

u must be careful not to touch his stom

is stomach he'll die,"

ever so

g with his hind legs on the floor of the shed, startling the doe

half of them will be yours,

O

y. She loved the rabbit, she loved little Colin. A

, when she thought of her dead mother, she lay

s to dine late that evening, sitting besid

he middle for a knob. He was going to keep it for ever. He had no candl

he Manor was furn

d. They were waiting there for Mrs. Fielding who was always a little late.

her neck and hung between her breasts. Roll above roll of hair jutted out at the back of her head; across it, the foremost curl rose like a comb, shining. Her eyes, intensely blue in her milk-white face, sparkled between two dark w

weet flower smell that drifted (not lavender, not lavender). She stood at the foot of

eautiful. You

ng stopped

, you littl

r breast, crushed down into the bed of the flower scent. An

d Adeline. "At l

have anything about her, even a cat

tting a light in. When Anne saw the light coming she shut her eyes and burrowed under the blankets, she knew it was Auntie Adeli

of drawers, she would feel her hands drawing back the blankets and her face bending down over her.

Adeline's. Somebody else whispered "She's asleep." That was Jerrold. Jerrold. She felt hi

said Aunt Adeline. "She's s

hat was the schoolroom now, and found Eliot there, examining

kid. Trying to go on as if she was Anne's mother. You can

wasn't listening, abso

's got to

to," said Eliot

l get Dad to. He

i

it off till Adeline gave him his chance. He fou

know what to do a

ch c

affection. It's pretty hard if I'm to house and feed the little thing and look after her like a mothe

r A

r to somebody else's child who doesn't

t try

't t

ther to her. That's wh

d in the doorway. He was retreating before their

u. Here's Robert telling me

ng because she thinks Anne

down, con

s time,"

im, smiling und

to lov

e you. She-she's so d

elfry. Robert left them to finish a

to her. I have tried, John; but

bert's right. Don't-don

am I t

e. A heavenly apparition. An impo

e's going to hol

s long as she remembe

ct to Robert bein

etter father than I a

lication and was hurt, unreasonably. He

. I've had to choose between the Government of India and my daughter. You'll observe that I don

' me? If I

time. Give

smiling d

k I'm unr

in the world. F

dn't love your little

She's fighting you now. She wouldn't fight if she didn't f

ed at th

I must go

hold out against me, p

ys remember that I j

ould be always Anne's mother, his wife would be alwa

characteristic of John that when he had to choose between his wife and his Government, he had not chosen Alice. He must have had adventures out in India,

n supper time and bed-time. He took her on his knee, and she snuggled there, rubbing her head against

't you think you can

ked at him with candid eyes. "I do

love her

if she wou

ry

like Mu

He knew it, but he

ou see, her trying. It only m

want to thi

myself, and Auntie Adeline

wfully kind to

ful

tn't hurt he

I didn't

n't if you

hurt her feelings,

N

ep on thinking about Mummy. I wan

, Anne,

der, turning on its tra

Auntie Adel

he owned that he had

n her such a long time;

ou marrie

es

I love Uncle Robert an

rol

line, "I know who'll take

? Ro

Jer

e had sailed for

*

i

d was

it out of the window just in time. He put the chain on Billy, the sheep-dog, when he

uting with laughter while Sandy, the Aberdeen, jumped on him, growling

waited for Jerry to get up and tak

d his mother laughed too,

" she said. "It's the

stopped it. She st

to Wyck, Jerry, you

ar

very red. He looked mour

frigh

't, Mo

arp to come and look at Pussy's

," said Jer

well has,"

ot

cause you don't like

himself. He's

told, Jerry. It's d

owardice, i

father, "it isn't

l have to get over it. You go on as if no

he vet, had had to come and give him chloroform. That was why Jerrold was afraid of Yearp. When he saw him he saw

of the men," his

him, Robert. He's

go and get it over. You can'

ldn't let Anne go with him. He said he

he doesn't want to think of

lambing time and the cows at their calving. And he spent half the midsummer holidays reading Animal Biology and drawing diagrams of frogs' hearts and pigeons' brains. He said he wasn't going to Oxford or Cambrid

understand. He took her into the woods to look for squirrels; he showed her the wildflowers and told her all their

cope they saw inside it a thing like a green egg. Every day they watched it; it put out two green horns, and a ridge grew down

ut him up and see what he was made of. But Eliot didn't. He said Benjy was sacred. That was because he knew they loved him. An

as hard that Eliot couldn't be ni

t. Anne couldn't think what she meant till Jerrold told her she was the only kid that Eliot had e

up with God and music and the deaths of animals, and sunsets and all sorrowful and beautiful and mysterious things.

Eliot any minute if sh

rold, all the time,

ake her out riding with him over the estate that stretched from Wyck across the valley of the Speed and beyond it for miles over the hills. And he would show her the reaping ma

have a farm, with horses and co

you lik

uld. Only it can't happ

't want h

t he was a little boy who cried sometimes and was afraid of ghosts. Two masters came out from Cheltenham twice a week to teach him. Eliot said Colin would be a professional when he grew up, but his mother said he should be nothing of the sort

d stood beside him and looked on and said, "Clever Col-Col. Isn't he a w

child's legs and arms he tried to do the things that Jerrold did. They told him he would have to wait

Jerrold and Anne had tried to sneak out when Colin wasn't looking; but he had seen them and came running after them down the field, calling to them to le

said, "we migh

t him,"

can't w

said Coli

ired he'll be sick in the night

mouth

ol, you're coming." Je

"if he crumples up

" said

I," sa

olin "shall carr

You're simple ruining that kid. He thinks he can come butting into everything. Here's the whole a

n't, J

. It was when they started to walk back that his legs betrayed him, slackening first, then running, because running was easier than walking, for a change. The

oft hips. Colin's body slipped every minute and had to be jerked up again;

, staggered and stum

liot. He forbore, nobly

he Speed, past Hayes Mill, through Lower Speed, Upper Speed, and up the fields to

Col-Col! What have yo

re it li

t Colin in the schoolro

ol-Col will be a perfec

ave to pa

e and

e fools enough to keep

rrold bitterly, "you

ter. They were all old enough. And Jerrold said it was his fault, not Eliot's, and Anne said it was hers, too. And Adeline declared that it was all their faults and she would have to speak to the

t Col-Col was

of glassy rain. Shining spears of rain dashed themselves against the west windows. Jets of rain rose up, whirling an

unded invisible bodies in the air. It screamed

ed the c

ormed up and down the passages. The house was filled

fa in the library. El

little plaintive when

noise you children are mak

elf on her. "Tired

ess still worked in him. It s

play at nex

play at next?

for goodness sake,

inkney. Very quiet as they watched Pinkney's innocent approach. The sponge caught

ight. "Oh Jerry, did y

liot. But Eliot couldn't see that it was

vant and can't d

at," said Jerrold. (It

o bowl to me and l

that in a

ll have a

o be content with begging his pardon, which he gave, as he said, "freely." Ye

d-time that Eliot tol

he said, "that Pinkn

hen you're excited, really excited, something awful's bound to hap

ing," said Eliot. "Y

uld. If we could go to him and tell him

only bother the poor chap. Besid

led the sponge. W

had done it together. The pain of her sin had sweetness in it since she shared it with Jerry. Jerry's arm was round her

done it, Anne, if

o much if we hadn'

elp that. And it was

we could

us to go talking to h

hate

they could write. That wouldn't hurt him. Jerry fetched

We wouldn't have done it if we

s tr

SEV

ren't to a

LD FI

ter Jerrold kno

re you

ith him at the door in

kney. He says we aren't to worry. He knew

he cr

the same, it'll be a l

i

's Jer

the flagged path below, and made yearning faces at him, doing her best, at this last moment, to destroy his morale. Colin sat behind him by Jerrold's place,

end of th

might see wher

from the gallery. At the turn they stopped and looked at each other, and suddenly he had

she thought; "and I who told he

ther's large embrace, broke from it, and climbed into the dogcart. The mare

trees narrowed on them, till the dogcart swung out

othing to her. Today she could h

ding beside her. They moved suddenly

i

ranch brushed backwards and forwards, it tapped on the

d dreadful in the moonlight, covere

oom from Anne's. The doors sto

and Anne stood beside him in her white nightgown. Her hair rose in a black ru

frightene

ightened, but I think t

ing. Only

in Jerry

o, Co

he said, "

ow you see. Now you

t when Jerrold's there. The ghosts never c

nne still sat on Jerrold's bed with her knees dra

ret," Colin said. "O

won

y and

y and

t person in the whole world. When I

ouldn'

when I'm gro

ven then. Jerrold can't

n't c

what he can't if you

and playing I shal

. You won't

sha

e him. I don't want anybody else to

olin, "I shal

i

little thing had left off pretending to be asleep. She

y shut, slack on her ey

, the little lamb. B

en a sound stopped he

e-are you

othes. On Anne's white cheek the black eyelashes were parted

wn, her face aga

t darling?

shi

loved me. You don't,

o. Really

a kiss. The

ght, deep kiss that

new by Anne's surrender that, t

n't k

s it Jerry? Do

crying broke out ag

d let the storm beat itse

him more than I

he comes back. And I s

in, darling. You