The Innocents Abroad

new circumstances, and life in the ship became nearly as systematically monotonous as the routine of a barrack. I do not mean that it was dull, for it was not entirely so by any means

"seven bells"; eight, twelve, and four o'clock were "eight bells"; the captain did not take the longitude at nine o'clock,

rived at concerning them; and more than that, everybody took a personal interest in seeing that the flag was run up and politely dipped three times in response to the salutes of those strangers; in the smoking room there were always parties of gentlemen playing euchre, draughts and dominoes, especially dominoes, that delightfully harmless game; and down on the main deck, "for'rard"-for'rard of the chicken-coops and the cattle-we had what was called "horse billiards." Horse billiards is a fine game. It affords good, active exercise, hilarity, and consuming excitement. It is a mixture of "hop-scotch" and shuffleboard played with a crutch. A large hop-scotch diagram is marked out on the deck with chalk, and each compartment numbered. You stan

at least the cabins-and amuse themselves with games, reading, looking

ome saloon fifty or sixty feet long, for prayers. The unregenerated called this saloon the "Synagogue." The devotions consisted only of two hymns from the Plymouth Collection and a short prayer, and s

d impotent a conclusion as most of them did! I doubt if there is a single pilgrim of all that host but can show a hundred fair pages of journal concerning the first twenty days' voyaging in the Quaker City, and I am morally certain that not ten of the party can show twenty pages of journal for the succeeding twenty thousand miles of voyaging! At certain periods it becomes the dearest ambition of a man to keep a faithful record of his performances in a book

d a pair of legs that were a wonder to look upon in the way of length and straightness and s

r moods.) "I wrote ten pages in my journal last night-and you know I wrote

find to put

ause that'll tell at home, you know); and the ships we saluted and what nation they were; and which way the wind was, and whether there was a heavy sea, and what sail we carried, though we don't ever carry any, principally, going against

h more than a thousand dol

t do you think

as much as a thousand dollars-wh

nk so, myself. It ain't

ouch of a journal." One night in Paris, aft

es awhile, Jack, and give you a chance

ce lost its f

ught I'd leave France out and start fresh. But that wouldn't do, would it? The governor would say, 'Hello, here-didn't see anything in France? That cat wouldn't fight, you know. First I thought I'd copy France o

uch use, but a journal properly kept is worth

uld think so. I wouldn't

s night school in the cabin. If you wish to inflict a heartless and malig

lub was formed, of all the passengers, which met in the writing school after prayers and re

cenes, but there were one or two home pictures among them. He advertised that he would "open his performance in the after cabin at 'two bells' (nine P.M.) and show the passe

ones, and a disreputable accordion that had a leak somewhere and breathed louder than it squawked-a more elegant term does not occur to me just now. However, the dancing was infinitely worse than the music. When the ship rolled to starboard the whole platoon of dancers came charging down to starboard with it, and brought up in mass at the rail; and when it rolled to port they went floundering down to port with the same unanimit

e was appointed; also clerks, a crier of the court, constables, sheriffs; counsel for the State and for the defendant; witnesses were subpoenaed, and a jury empaneled after much challenging. The witnesses were stupid and unreliable and contradictory,

young gentlemen and ladies, in the cabins, and proved the

ting club, but it was a failure. There

ert did know part of a tune something about "O Something-Or-Other How Sweet It Is to Know That He's His What's-his-Name" (I do not remember the exact title of it, but it was very plaintive and full of sentiment); Albert played that pretty much all the time until we contracted with him to restrain himself. But nobody ever sang by moonlight on the upper deck, and the congregational singing at church and prayers was not of a superior order of architec

ll provoke remark. Just stick to 'Coronation,' like the others. It i

it-and I am singing like the oth

no one to blame but himself when his voice caught o

chances enough to have such ghastly music going on, even when it was at its best; and that to exaggerate the crime by letting George help was simply flying in the

prayers. The executive officer

s a thousand coming west-what's a fair wind for us is a head wind to them-the Almighty's blowing a fair wind for a thousand vessels, and this tribe wants him to turn it clear around