Nature and Human Nature

, for that one has been used so long, it's e'en amost worn out now)--sposin we young folks leave the doctor and your father to finish t

, but we will go if you will promise to tell us one of your funny stories. The

ies ain't in my books. Somehow or another, when I want them they won't come, and at other times when I get a goin talkin, I can string them together like onions, one after the other,

o but their dress and to go to balls, that have leisure to amuse themselves that way;

t over half like my taking her at her word that way. "I shouldn't wonder,"

g herself up a bit, "what nonsens

thread of a particular colour, you know whether you have any more like it or not, so when a man tells me a story, I know whether

or read it," as the case may be. And when the time, and place, and circumstances are told you, you say, "Stop a bit, I do now mind something about it, warn't it so and so, or this way, or that way," and finally up it comes, all fresh to your recollection. Well, until you get the clue given you, or the key note is struck, you are ready to take your oath you never heard of it afore. Memory has many cells: Some of them ain't used much, and dust and cobwebs get about them, and you c

of them are about hosses, or clocks, or rises taken out of folks, or dreams, or courtships, or

ell us a courtship; I dare say

"tell us a ghost story.

dream. I know one myself which ca

e that story, please, and it's hard if I can't

ory, for it's a true one, and I should like to hear

y mistakes I make, for I don't speak very good English, a

a great expense in clearing up the stumps, and buying stock and farming implements, and what not. One season, between plantin' and harvest, he run short of money for his common daily use, and to pay some little debts he owed, and he was very dull about it. He said he knew he cou

worth the expense of bringing to for the plough. The road to the back field ran through this wood land. He was very low-spirited about his situation, for he said if he was to b

dreamed that as I was going out to the back lot with the oxcart

orriment we have had about money lately has set you a dreaming. Janet sails on Monda

nto it, and started for the field. The servant drove the team, and John walked behind with his head down, a turning over in his mind whether he couldn't sell something off the farm to keep matters a-goin' till I should

s more prudent as they were alone in the woods to say nothing about it. So he walked on, and joined the driver, and kept him in talk for awhile. And then, as

an home as hard as he could lay legs to it, only stopping t

no mistake;' and he threw a few pieces down on the hearth and rung them. 'They are genuine Spanish crowns

seemed to be in a sort of yellow powder, like the dust of rotten wood, and got out all we could find. We afterwards tried under the opposite whee

said brother; and she threw her arms round hi

ss, how she did it, only you may

cannot show you myself, but you may imagine it, it will

discover was, that about forty years before, an old Frenchman had lived somewhere thereabouts alone, in the midst of the woods. Who he was, or what became of him, nobody knew; all he could hear was, that a party of lumbermen had, some years afterwards, found his house amidst a sec

only not so large or so old as the neighbouring ones, but, as is always the case, were of a different description of wood altogether. On a careful inspection of the spot where he found the money, it appeared that the wheel had passed lengthways along

true one, I assure you, for I was presen

any reason to suppose that the money had been hid there,

what?" s

couldn't count upon a

ed though," she said; "and tha

n this extraordinary story. The actors are still living,

that she was a going to be married to a certain

ll us your story now, you know you pro

; "come now, Mr Slick,

my book instead, and that wil

ll you give it to

ere is one condition." And I said in Gaelic: "Feumieth thu p

girls laughed liked anything, as if it was a capital joke, "that's not fair, you said you

sais I, "Mi

I want

far away from here, and I wanted you to give me a little token, O do bhilean b

to exchange for it. Oh, dear, what a horrid idea," she said, quite scorney like, "to trade for a kiss; it's the way father buys his fish, he give

, "and that's the reason

but how on earth did

kissed it up, and as you want a story I

sort of a story it is,

r quite so skittish as she was, "do tell us, no doub

e. But a kiss fairly electrifies you, it warms your blood and sets your heart a beatin' like a brass drum, and makes your eyes twinkle like stars in a frosty night. It tante a thing ever to be forgot. No language can express it, no letters will give the sound. Then what in natur is equal to the flavour of it? What an aroma it has! How spiritual it is! It ain't gross, for you can't feed on it; it don't cloy, for the palate ain't required to test its taste. It is neither visible, nor tangible, nor portable, nor transferable. It is not a substance, nor a liquid, nor a vapour. It has neither colour nor form. Imagination can't conceive it. It can't be imitated or forged.

trange therefore that a woman is invincible whose armoury consists of kisses, smiles, sighs, and tears? Is it any wonder that poor old Adam was first tempted, and then ruined? It is very easy for preachers to get up with long faces and tell us he ought to

learned men in the United States. He took a great fancy to me, and spared no pains with my schooling, and I owe everything I have in the world to his instruction. I didn't mix much with other boys, and, from living mostly with people older than myself, acquired an old-fashioned way that I have never been able to shake off yet; all the boys c

capital! Sam Slick an innocent boy! Well, that must have been before you were weaned, or talked in joinin

n't go for to pretend to say some of it didn't rub off when it became dry, when I was fishing in the world on my own hook; b

nk," said she; "

by the disease, and Flora was left without friends or means, and the worst of it was, she could hardly speak a word of intelligible English. Well, Minister took great pity on her, and spoke to father about taking her into his house, as sister Sally was just married, and the old lady left without an

r anything they hain't got; but if you praise them for anything they pride themselves on, they are satisfied, because it shows you estimate them

t too, just about as much as she could cleverly manage; eyes like diamonds; complexion, red and white roses; and teeth, not quite so regular as yours, Miss, but as white as them; and li

y!" said Janet, "you didn

ant as not to know a splendiferous gall when he sees her," and I made a motion

s a clumsy appearance to the figure; but betwixt and between, and perfection always lies there, just midway between

aisin' one gall to another ain't the shortest way to

untry, like me, she knew no more about the ways of the world than I did. She was a mere child, as I was; she was only nineteen years old, and neither of us knew anything of society rules. One day I asked her to let me measure her waist with my arm, and I did, and then she measured mine with her

and had her ears open to hear what we said; but p'raps it was only my vanity, for I don't know nothin' about the working of a woman's heart even now. I am only a bachelor yet, and how in the world should I know anything more about any lady than what I knew about poor Flora? In the w

never!" s

," sai

Catherine. "Oh dear, how

but he was old and impatient, and a little hard of hearing, and he couldn't half the time

ath

ed as if she didn't half fancy any body calling him that but her own children. Whether that

"you are not waywise, and so ar

ht mother spoke kinder cross to

says--' Well, she couldn't get the rest out; she

ay?' said father, stampin' his f

off she went out of the

s worse and wors

she can't talk at all, so there is no worse about it. I am sorr

her, and she shall teac

rning her; and as for Gaelic I can't bear it. It's a horrid outlandish language

e. I like Gaelic myself; we had some brave Jacobite Highland soldiers in our army in the war that did great service, but unfor

ployed,' said mother, but he di

n' towards them. She is

led face,' said mother, looking at me, 'she wo

or heaven's sake; but mind, she must give you

nse,' said mother,

erect. 'It's my orders, marm, and they must be obeyed;' and he wa

et the gall be; the less she talks the mor

my idea, mot

o no such nonsense

all the Highlands of Scotland were put into a heap, and then multiplied by three, they wouldn't be half as big as the White Moun

heek, 'you have twice as much sense as you

ey my parents, so I thought I would please both. I made up my mind I wouldn't get books to learn Gaelic or teach Engli

cent that was, war

en, and I don't now; and what's more, I think I wou

ubt you would

d she would tell me the names; and her eyes, her nose, and her chin, and so on; and then I would touch her lips, and say, 'What's them?' And she'd say. 'Bhileau?' And then I'd kiss her, a

he language like pyson, I do believe I should soon have mastered it so as to speak it as well as you do. But she took every opportunity she could to keep us apart, and whenever I went into the room where Flora was spinning, or ironing, she would either follow and take a chair, and sit me out, or send me away of an errand, or tell me to go and talk to father, who was all alon

te ironing, or something or another. And if you will believe it now, mother never would let me sit up with her to keep her company and talk to her; but before she went to bed herself, always saw me off to my own room. Well, it's easy to make people go to bed, but it ain't just quite so easy to make them stay there. So when I used to hear the old lady get fairly into hers, for my room w

it," she said, "o

u would finish the lessons with me this eve

my purpose, and I agree with your mother, Gaelic in this country is of no sort of use

sleep sound if the coals weren't covered up with ashes, the hearth swept, and the broom put into a tub of water, and she used to get up an

I never! how you can have the face to pret

ckin feet as usual, puts a chair into the chimney corner, and we sat down and repeated our lessons. When we came to the word Pog (kiss), I always used to forget it; and it's very odd, for it's the most beautiful one in the language. We soon lost all caution, and it sounded so loud and sharp it started mother; and before we knew where we

she said, speakin' as mild as if she

d woman's face, and clapped it; and it made the very identical sound of the smack she had heard, and the dear child repeated it in quick succession several t

nfounded, and Flora looked, as she was, the dear critter, so artless and i

ing so far in the chim

act is, we never used but one, we was quite y

ire, folded her arms across her bosom, laid her head back and looked so sweet and so winnin' int

when you was young, I guess you wouldn't b

agin, as if she was sure I was there, and then came towards the door where I was, so I sloped up-stairs like a shadow

are you

I didn'

why don't you speak

ve I overslept myself? is it time to get up?' and I put out my

versleep yourself, for you haven't sl

said I, 'a

own the clothes and pullin' my coat ov

' sais I. 'When a feller is so peskilly sleepy a

and when I returned, two days after, Flora was gone to live with sister Sally. I have never forgiven myself for that folly; but really it all came of our being so artless and so innocent. There was no craft in either of us.