Love Among the Chickens

to-day," said

ing at the bread in his energetic way

to give us a very nice dinner

Edwin?"

of the farm on my return, laying stress on the merits of our neighbours and their interest in our doings, and the Hired R

Ukridge. "Oh,

"He's not. He's such a dear, Mr. Garnet. A bea

ething. That's why he d

bit him, Mr. Garnet. And poor Edw

good. Sneaked a dog's dinner, Garnet, under his very n

d of Bob. He will be very timid, and Bob

rt him, unless he tries to steal his dinner. In

ike Edwin," said M

and was shut into the kitchen. He st

wo hours later. Mr. Cha

or he would have been delighted to come. It was a dis

ok here," he broke off suddenly-we were nearing the fowl-run now, Mrs.

," said the

fat little buffer there a few ye

orehead and up my spine. I saw the professor stiffen as he walked, while his face deepene

g, that. By Jove, yes. It was hot work. Nice lot of fowls, aren't they? Rather a mixed lot, of course. Ha! ha! That's

ly relax its poker-like attitude. The situation was saved for the moment but there was no knowing what further e

ful," I whispered. "You've

othing," he r

likes to be called a fat

g like that. We can't be stilted and formal. It's

ome things in store. I knew what manner of man Ukridge was when he relaxed an

he offended no one, and Phyllis and her father behaved admirably.

say, "now is that really s

iginal device for the furthering of the interests of his fowls,

o previous experience in c

Not an atom. But I can turn my hand to anything, you

" said

re form of the Hired Retainer approaching us. Somehow-I cannot say why-I had a feeling that h

n, Mr. Ukr

feeding of fowls, a subject on which he held views of his own

," he said,

at, sir, what

. Ukridge in agitation

hing to say t

on't say that Edwin has been hur

hing to say t

e had his nose well scratched,"

e Hired Retainer tranquilly, "I went into the kitch

certain book I had read in my infancy. I wish I co

" said Mrs. Ukrid

ed down, as you may say,' she says. 'Ho, don't you fret,' I says to her, ''im and me understands each other. 'Im and me,' I says, 'is old friends. 'E's my dear old pal, C

eale. What has h

er proceeded in

there was such a spitting and swearing as you never 'eard; and blowed," said Mr. Beale amusedly, "blowed if the old cat didn't give

s they say i

oked," cried Phy

lways lets the kitchen fire out during the after

ount three. It was plain that the s

e chimney? It's a cold dinner we'll get

had lunched with him his evident fondness for the pleasures of

e was standing in front of the empty grate,

is, Mrs. Beale

Bob's about. And how I'm to cook dinner for

broom handle, Mrs. B

poor Edwin," s

ove 'im further up. What must be," added Mrs. Beale philosophically, "m

at least seemed out of place, "is to have a regular, jolly picnic-d

could read what was passing in his mind,-remorse for having come at a

e splendid,"

ardly fair for us to give any further trouble to Mrs. Ukrid

able to whack up something, he said. There was quite a good deal of the ham left. He was sure. He appealed to

ehensive way enthusiasts have, "what more do we want in weather like this? A ni

guests rapidly becoming irritable. I watched the professor furtively as Ukridge talked on, and that ominous phrase of Mr. Chase's concerning four-point-seven guns kept coming into my mind. If Ukridge were to tread on any of his pet corns, as he might

us in almost a swashbuckling way. I do not know how else to describe it. It wore a blatant, rakish, nemo-me-impune-lacessit air, and I noticed that the professor shivered slightly as he saw it. Sardines, looking more oily and uninviting than anything I had ever seen, appeared in their native tin

one-his stories would have been the better for a little more briskness and condensation-Ukridge almost invariably interrupted him, before he had got half way through, without a word of apology, and started on some anecdote of his own. He furthermore disagreed with nearly every opinion the professor expressed. It is true that he did it

t after

rofessor's mention of Dublin, to start upon the Irish question. I had been expec

sitive opinions of his own on the subject before I could get near enough to him to whisper a warning. When I did, I suppose

men that ever came from Dublin, let me tell you, and I will not stay here to be insulted by the insinuation that

prof

eated like a child. I am as competent to discuss the aff

the

ubject, sir. Every word you say betrays your profound ignorance. I don't wish to see you or to speak to you again. Understand that, s