Love Among the Chickens

awn, wet with dew, sparkled in the sun. A thrush, who knew all about early birds and their perquisites, was filling in the time before the arrival of the worm with a song or tw

uickly and went out. Bob rose to meet me, waving an absurdly long tail. The hatch

town. I passed through the narrow street, and turned on to the beach, walking in the dir

ith Ukridge to this pleasant spot. Not that I could rely on unbroken calm during the whole of my visit. I knew nothing of chicken-farming, but I was certain that Ukridge knew less. There would be some strenuous moments before that farm bec

lar, assailing a large ham. Mrs. Ukridge, looking younger and more

you been? Bathing? Hope it's made you feel fit for

, opening her eyes till she looked like an astonished k

d variety beat anything I had ever heard. Judging from the noise, it seemed as if England h

o have been no

cently. "But that's what we want. No good starting on a

mostly?" I asked, showing

'Any Dorkings?' they said. 'All right,' I said, 'bring on your Dorkings.' 'Or perhaps you will require a few Minorcas?' 'Very well,' I said, 'unleash the Minorcas.' They were going on-they'd have gone on for hours-but I stopped 'em. 'Look here, my dear old college chum,' I said kindly but firmly to the manager johnny-decent old buck, with the manners of a marquess,-'look here,' I s

you going t

into the field when they feel like it, and pick up worms, or whatever they feed on. We must rig them up some sor

hen-coops. We shall

old Garnet was the man to think of things. I forgot the

of boxes. Sugar boxes are as good as any.

table with enthusias

as mother makes it. What an infernal noise those birds are making. I suppose they don't feel at home in the yard. Wait till they

d mob below with much interest, was roused from his reflections and despatched to the town for the wire and su

n you at your word," I said, "a

esentative selection of fowls. There were blue ones, black ones, white, grey, yellow, brown, bi

I, assisted by Beale, draped the wire-netting about the chosen spot next to the paddock. There were little unpleasantnesses-once a roar of anguish told that Ukridge's hammer had found the wrong billet, and on another occa

s the stuff to administer to 'em! At this rate we shall have the place in corking condition be

n examined t

een wor

ued his e

s passion for the truth had made

" I said, "but I'm g

sidering the way you've put up that wire

in an incomplete state at the end of the day. The details of the evening's w

ome exercise, I suppose. Personally, I feel as if I should never move again. You have no conception of the difficulty of rounding up fowls and getting them safely to bed. Having no proper place to put them, we were obliged to stow some of them in the cube sugar-boxes and the rest in the basement. It ha

ring off the big drive. For about thirty seconds it looked as if we might do it. Then Bob, the Hired Man's dog, an animal who likes to be in whatever's going on, rushed out of the house into the middle of them, barking. There was a perfect stampede, and Heaven only knows where some of those fowls are now. There was one in particular, a large yellow bird, which, I should imagine, is nearing London by this time. The last I saw of it, it was navigating at the rate of knots in that direction, with Bob after it, barking his hardest. The fowl was showing a rare turn of speed and gaining rapidly. Presently Bob came back, panting, having evidently given the thing up. We, in the meantime, were chasing the rest of the birds al

believe if Ukridge kept white mice he would manage to get feverish excitement out of it. He is at present lying on the sofa, smoking one of his infernal brand of cigars, drinking whisk