Homo Sum -- Volume 05

rienced by a soul that despairs of itself; but the more heavily the blow of such suffering f

n he had taken Hermas' sin and punishment and disgrace upon himself, it had seemed to him that he was treading in the very footsteps of the Savio

was my flight from the world, and my useless sojourn in the desert? He who always keeps out of the way of the battle can easily boast of being unconquered to the end- but is he therefore a hero? The palm belongs to him who in the midst of the struggles and affairs of the world clings to the heavenward road, and never lets himself

fervently; when at last he came to the 'Amen,'

re he could begin a new life, he must do penance-some heavy penance; but what was it to be? He was standing at the very margin of the brook, hemmed in by cliffs, and was bending down to it, but before he had moistened his lips he drew back: just because he was so thirsty he resolved to deny himself drink. Hastily, almost vehemently, he turned his back on the spring, and after this little victory over himself, his storm-tossed heart seemed a little calmer. Far, far from hence and from the wilderness and from the Sacred Mountain he felt impelled to fly, and

few hours, the deepest depression took possession of his mind. Exhausted, unstrung, full of loathing of himself

it is written that we ought to bury the dead, and because he had no corpse, slew a traveller that he might fulfil the commandment: I have acted in exactly the same way, for, in order to spare another man suffering and to bear the sins of another, I have plunged an innocent woman into misery, and made myself indeed

e prepared to return to Sirona, who was no longer any more to him than an unhappy woman to whom he o

e itself heard, he knew that it came from a spot which he knew well and where he had often rested, because a large flat stone supported by a stout pillar of gran

ain. Paulus went cautiously forward. The groaning sounded louder and more

, and soon found on the dry spot of ground under the stone, and

, and the strong arms that now bung down powerless. As he raised the injured man, who still uttered low moans, and supported his head

tone, but still much too clearly for Paulus, for he now knew for certain that be had guessed rightly. With a loud cry of horror he grasped the youth's powerless form, rai

rizon were already edged with rosy fringes, and the coming day

n angry glare as he called up all his remaining strength and pushed his attendant from him. Paulus did not withdraw, he accepted the

The water with which Paulus now washed his head reopened them, and renewed the bleeding, and after the one powerful effort with which Polykarp pushed away his e

g in the rosy dawn, while light translucent vapor floated round the peak where the Lord had written His laws for His chosen people, and for all peoples, on tables of stone; it seemed to Paulus that he saw

dared he look up at the mountain; but the brazen voice from the height did not cease, and sounded louder and louder; half beside himself with excitement, in his inward ear he heard it still,

d he-he had broken them all, broken them while striv

arms up to heaven, and sighing de

ite sentinels were accustomed to watch the distance, a handke

of thought and deliberation, his ear distinctly caught the mighty floods of stirring sound that came over the m

venture to remain here near his victim, or was it his duty to use his powerful arms in defence of his helpless compa

His eyes filled with tears, and he bent as tenderly as a father might over the pale face, and pressed a gentle kiss on the bloodless lips of the senseless y

in his heart, and then he thought to himself, "First I will carry h

men's voices, there by a blast of trumpets, and there again by stifled cries. It was as if a charm had given life to the rock

the anchorite. "If I on

ermas is alive! Hermas is here again! Only look up at the heights. There flies the standard, for he has warned the sentinels. The Blemmyes are coming on, and he sent me to seek y

ack to her. "He is hurt unto death; hurry down to t

me up, and not let me come up the mountain again. What has happened to the poor fellow? But it is all the same: there is something else for you to do besides grieving o

med Paulus, tak

o as Dermas orders you. Now I am off to call the others, and we shall meet again at the tower

rang away from rock to rock

ards his cave; but before he could reach it he heard steps, and a loud agonized scream, and in a few seconds Sirona was by his side, crying in passionate grie

n her knees and pressed the young man's powerless hand to her lips, "If indeed you truly love him, cease crying and lamenting. He yesterday got a severe wound on his head; I have washed it, now do you bind it up with care, and keep it constantly cool wi

e him this wound in a moment of rage, and to forgive me if she can, she and Petrus. And you too forgive me that in which I have sinned against you, and

epest recess of the cave. Sirona started. "That is the Roman tuba

. "And still, one thing more. I saw la

pointed to the farthest corner of th

nseless man once more to kiss his forehead, raised his hand towa