IN MY DARKEST HOUR YOU ARE MY LIGHT

US'S

ure had broken me to the core. I had missed her terr

od me was no more. Sometimes I wished that I

died in front me and my mind al

our sis

y because I found my father holdin

ed in blood; he had kille

SHB

TH'

due date was only in a few weeks,but I had to be prep

isits home became life frequent; it was my onl

ould be curious if I came back without a baby but I w

a goo

ng contractions. I knew t

a few minutes later they called an amb

h in the process. I was aware of the nurses wheeling me to

ve to push" the nurse urg

and after hours of pain I f

irl" the midwife said softly an

She was pinkish, covered in blood an

her on

eyes just like her father. Sh

up but even if I had given birth to her she was never mine. I

lled down

ad cleaned her up and she was pe

come to pick her up as soon as t

a little time to bond with her but

ing her in my arms as I sang her the lulla

go and I could go back home anytime,but leaving o

lly I was still a big mess because this was

very painfully each second, minute

ld be he

hours

at I had two visitors pr

a stand still. They were dressed in fancy expensive clo

have always wante

fly introduc

softly and the woman nodded eagerly. It felt

n her arms gently and tears

y her dream has come true. Her husband wrapped an arm a

favor and I haven't forgotten my promise

piness that we've always wanted for forty y

hem a sm

woman as well. I know what it means to b

nd no woman should eve

purse and sat on the bed

ad promised them a child and even if

ked everything for the baby

r one last tim

odded but his

dded quietly and h

ss seeing her cute f

ard; it felt like a sword pi

her foreh

y darling and I will al

indicating that it was time they went ba

her new mother. Once they left and the door wa

weakly, bitter tears

that one day Marcus will meet his sister an

y only

e on foot. I needed time to think

end froze when she

asped

I broke down crying. She was never mine to keep it felt li

tell Mabel the truth she was my close friend ever since we

abel my little girl didn't m

into a hug and I

ays wanted a girl for years. I'm rea

aged me to be strong for Marcus and

ng cold shower pondering

born a st

as the only way to accept that she

was only three months away. I had enough time to plan our trip

ld be