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A Life's Morning

Chapter 9 CIRCUMSTANCE

Word Count: 6454    |    Released on: 29/11/2017

e who met him in Dunfield looked at him with surprise and asked what illness he had been suffering. At the mill, they did not welcome his re-appearance; his temper was worse than it

-room whilst Dagworthy was refreshing himself with a biscuit and a glass

o care much abaht such fond tantrums; but when he gets agaate o' dommin his

s kept up by her fears that 't' master' was seriously unwell, made at length another attempt to face him. She knocked at the door of the sitting-room, having heard him enter a minu

she said softly

p. 'Well? W

yo'. What's wrong wi' yo', Mr. Richard? You l

ise he spoke

Get me some hot water, will you? I

er remedies, but Dagwor

ou, and go to bed yourself. What

rning, and it seemed as if the worst had blow

ice at the mill, he found Hood taking down one of a

abruptly, at the same time tu

hing through the accounts for several years, to throw l

y, as Dagworthy took his

e, and him Dagworthy summoned to the office, where he had need of him. Presently Hood came to replace the ledger he

e o'clock, you or Hood must go to Hebsworth. It had better be Hood; you finish what you're at. If there's no telegram, he

elope, old and yellow, which had evidently been shut up in the hook for several years; it was without address and unsealed. He was going to lay it aside, when his fingers

here's been rare searching for that, I'll be bound. He

cipher a scribbled endorsement, then restored it to the en

e asked of his fellow-

nd began a species of sword-play about Hood's head, keeping up a grotesqu

s soon as he was free from apprehen

in Hebsworth. Go down on your knees and pray that no telegram from Foot

hy

Andrew Leggee,-comprenez? The boss was going to

irteen?' a

the mind, I'll box you fo

ement in delivering terrific blows which just stopped sho

n by other hands; he might as well have the advantage of such pleasure as the discovery would no doubt excite. So he put it safely in his pocket-boo

s sandwiches at a point where the train was delayed for a few minutes by an adverse signal; a coal-pit was close by, and the smoke from the chimney blew in at the carriage windows, giving a special flavour to the bread and meat. There was a drunken soldier in the same compartment, who was being baited by a couple of cattle-drovers with racy vernacular not to be rendered by the pen. Hood munched his smoky sandwic

had fallen back on to the seat, and was grinning inan

n it nah! Tha'll a' to buy him a new 'at fo

brass,' suggested

book. Yet it was impossible to go through Hebsworth with uncovered head, or to present himself hatless at the office of Legge Brothers. Already the train was slackening speed to enter the station. Would any hatter trust him, on his representing whence he came? He fear

ved himself to face the ordeal. As he walked hurriedly out of the crowd, the cry 'Cab, sir?' fell upon his ears. Impossible to say how he brought himself to such a pitch of recklessness, but in a moment he was seated

length he positively laughed at the adventure which had befallen him. It mattered nothing whether he gave Dagworthy the money in a note or in change, and, on being told the story, his employer

is first words to the hatter. 'If you can't,

esman h

nt a si

not an exp

nces-such a proceeding could give, the hatter best knew; he appeared satisfied, and counted out

in of a man whose life had been a struggle amid the chicaneries and despicabilities of commerce; who knew that a man's word was never trusted where there could enter the slightest suspicion of an advantage to himself in lying; whose daily terror had been lest some error, some luckless chance, should put him within the nets of criminality. It is the deepest curse of such a life as his that it directs the imagination in chan

social hardship can inflict upon the individual, it, had undermined his self-respect. Having been so often treated like a dog, he had come to expect such treatment, and, what was worse, but feebly to resent it. He had lost the conscious dignity of manhood; nay, had perhaps never possessed it, for his battle had begun at so early an age. The sense that

ood had used for his own purposes money which did not belong to him; he did it under the pressure of circumstances, and had not time to reflect till the act was irrevocable. Then thi

bore was addressed had but a few minutes ago left the place; he would return within an hour. How could the time be spent? He began to wander aimlessly about the streets. In pas

ed as though it would burst his side. He turned and, with starting

n't it? Hood,

h should have been at the laundress's, no neck-tie, a frock-coat with only one button, low shoes terribly down at

on earth would have

street; couldn't be sure. Afraid I

er wife nor child, kith nor kin. He had tried his luck in all parts of England and in several other countries; casual wards had known him, and he had gained a supper by fiddling in the streets. Many a beginning had he made, but none led to anything; he seemed

seman caught his friend by the arm and

ecker over a three of gin! You don't look well; you've wanted old Cheeseman to cheer you up. Things bad? Why, damn it, of course things are bad; when were they anything else with yo

Hood. 'And doing well, I'm glad to say. She's

my soul! I ought to have married; yes, I should ha' married long ago; it 'ud a' been the making of me. It's the sole speculation, I do believe, that I haven't tried. Ah, but I've got something before me now!

gs you to

hich contrasted comically with his loud tone hitherto. 'Only a little matter, but-Well, w

of the very few men he had ever called friend, he had cast aside his cares for the moment. They went forth presently from the bar

sixpence. A tanner, Hood, was the last coin I possessed. It was to have purchased dinner, a beefsteak pudding, with

lly natural way. His usual abst

ungry myself; I've only had a sandwich.

d?' cried the other, wi

in, and send you off dinnerless? Things are bad, but not quite as bad

ne at a litt

an, as they entered. 'I've set my heart on that. Whatev

y. Cheeseman made an incision, then laid

ess, old friend, but this caps all. I'm bound to you for life and

fit of laughter on him; he had n

remarked Cheeseman, suggestively. 'I

pewter. When Cheeseman had taken a deep d

ou believe that I forget it, howe

e mustard, as soon as yo

en-poun

ed his kni

u did when I clapped you o' the shoulder.

ou mean; I couldn't for the life of

it,' pursued the oth

mention a fire-escape that any man can wear round his waist? Hush! wait a month or two. Let me make a note of your address whilst I think of it. This pudding's hot, but it's a

even began to justify himself. Was he never to know an hour's enjoyment? Was his life to be unbroken hardship? What if he had borrowed a few shillings without leave; somehow difficulties would be got over; why, a

ft me behind. You've got into smooth water. The old partnership of ill-luck is b

oo late yet,' cri

s defend us! What hav

e fire-

ll see; wait till things are set going. Perhaps y

el

d, when night comes on, but I can't pretend to like it. I always try to manage a bed at least once a week-no

p many a half-crownsworth; I feel better than I did. Don't I look it? I feel a

in that way, you know. I shouldn't like to suggest a pint, with a scrap

n he was under to finish his business and return to Dunfield as soon as possible. Cheeseman declared himself the last man to

a notion it won't be so long before we meet again. In any case it's another day to look back upon; I little thought of it when I spent

waiting-room, and began to examine the money in his pocket, to ascertain exactly the sum he would have to replace. The deficit amounted to a little less t

subjective world of genial accommodations. A pound to restore; on the other hand, nine pounds in pocket. The sight of the sovereigns was working upon his imagination, already touched to a warmer life than was its habit. Nine pounds would go a long way towards solving the fina

ossible to use it secretly. There was a way, seemingly of fate's prov

t just as well have lost it. Hood played with these speculations. He did not put to himself the plain alternative: Shall I keep the money, or shall I give it up? He merely let a series of reflections pass over his mind, as he lay back on the cushioned seat, experiencing an agreeable drowsiness. At the moment of finding the note, he

he fell into a doze. A sense of mental uneasiness roused him now and then, b

to return to work. When he had all but crossed the threshold, he turned sharply back, and entered a little public-house a few yards away; an extraordinary thing for him to do, but he felt that a small glass of spirits would

king up from a letter he was writing.

felt an accession of confidence; he exp

s Dagworthy took the note whi

om, and-the money was

wrongfully, the wrong was so dubious, so shadowy, that it vanished in comparison with the good that would be done. It was not-he said to himself-as if he had committed a theft to dissipate the proceeds, like that young fellow who ran away from the Dunfield and County Bank some months ago, and was caught in London with disreputable associates. Here was a ten-pound note lying, one might say, by the ver

l she had so impressed him with the purity of her heart that his love for her had been the nearest approach he ever knew to the spirit of worship; and since her attainment of mental and moral independence, his reverence for' her had not been unmixed with awe. When her eyes met his, he felt the presence o

, and was glad that he had not. That weight in his pocket was after all a joyous one, and to

and. How she loved that old name of Helvetia, printed on the stamps! Wilfrid wrote with ever fuller assurance that his father's mind was growing well-dis

out,' she said, as Hood

been to Hebsworth,

e you had d

lau

ld thin

the afternoon, but in vain. There had been a misunderstanding with the next-door neighbour, that lady havi

med, when Emily endeavoured to soothe her. 'Well, and what else am I,

be troubled by what

he wrong, Emily; you a

Hood, resenting neglect more even than contradictio

d when he he

an undertone, 'I'll go and speak to mother for

ust behind his wife, who sat over some sewing and had not yet spoken. At the ring of each

ifth sovereign Mrs.

?' she asked

ing till the nin

repeated. 'Why do

sely. 'I had to go to Hebsworth to-day, and who e

pau

n had been gall upon her tongue; even now she had not entirely ceased to allude to him, when she wished to throw especial f

t go and lose my hat out of the window of the train-had it knocked off by a drunken fellow, in

ll, it's too much to hope that any good luc

't fret so much ab

to him for years; he felt the need of sympathy; he could have begged her to give him a ki

ily in the sitting-room. She was sitting at t

d, trying in vain to overcome that terrible fluttering at

red with her sewing-she always took the very coarsest for such days as this-and sat at a little dist

old Emily?'

n't. You sh

st in his mouth, and all but choked him. He tried to laugh

e too ill of a man,' he said, whe

erving that he had no appetite. He excused himself by telling of his dinner in Hebsworth, and, as so

r entrance he caught up the first bottle his

noticing his intentness, wh

looking-no, it's nothing. Will you read

ng to establish more of intellectual sympathy between him and herself. So she did to-night. Hood scarcely followed after the first line; he became lost in feverish broodin

f deep humility, very touching in a parent before a child. Her meaning was often dark to his sight, but he strove hard to comprehend, and every word she uttered had for him a gospel sanction. To-night his thoughts strayed; her voice was nothing but the repr

im through the hour of temptation. Oh, could it not be morning again, and t

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