icon 0
icon TOP UP
rightIcon
icon Reading History
rightIcon
icon Log out
rightIcon
icon Get the APP
rightIcon

A Life's Morning

Chapter 3 LYRICAL

Word Count: 7370    |    Released on: 29/11/2017

rness whom one could in many respects treat as an equal, yet there was naturally a limit, in this as in all other matters. We have not ye

ess a lady; but the fact of quarterly payments, spite of all this, inevitably indicated a place below the salt. Mr. Athel, though, as we have seen, anxious to in

ral London libraries, and of these the governess was invited to make free use. It was some restraint upon her that her choice of reading always passed under Mrs. Bossall's eyes, but not so much after the first few weeks. The widow was by this time well advanced in the resumption of purely mundane literature, and the really liberal tone which prevailed in the house removed apprehension in the pursuit of modern studies. For it was rather an ideal towards which she was working than an attainment in fact, that eclecticism of which she spoke to Wilfrid Athel. The monthly library lists which came under her eyes offered many a

Emily; it was pleasantly put, and truer than it would have been in the ease of many instructresses. The twins were not remarkably fond of their lessons, but in Emily's hands they became docile and anxious to please. She had the art of winning their affection without losing control over them; had Mrs. Bossall's rather languid habits of mind allowed her to give attention to the subject, she would have been struck with the singular combination of tenderness and reverence which the two e

nest; association with intelligent-all the better if argumentative-people was an indispensable condition of his existence. In his later school, and early college, days this tendency to give free utterance to his thoughts made him not altogether the most delightful of companions to such as were older than himself; his undeniable cleverness and the stores of knowledge he had already acquired needed somewhat more of the restraint of tact than his character at that time supplied. People occasionally called him a prig; now and then he

y improved tone. He was graver, more seemly in the buoyant outbreaks in which he still occasionally indulged. One reason of his rapid maturing no doubt lay in the fact that he was already working too hard; his sprightliness was in a measure subdued by wear of tissue. His father was shrewd enough to suspect something of this, but it was difficult to interfere in any way. A month in Switzerland seemed to set things right. On the present more serious occasion, it had been deemed better not to set forth on a journey forthwith; perfect repose at the house in Surrey was all that was advised in the first instance. But it was clear that Wilfrid must have some

thel to his sister. 'The body is indulging it

ited their intercourse in precisely the way that Mr. Athel or Mrs. Rossall would have deemed becoming. Then there were almost always guests at the house. With prudent regard to the character of these visitors, Mrs. Rossall chose opportunities for inviting the governess to the drawing-room during the evening, but Emily was not wholly at her ease under such conditions, and Wilfrid was withheld by only half-conscious motives from talking with her at these times. He shrank from subjecting himself to examination whilst encouraging her to speak on the subjects he would naturally choose; he felt, too, that she desired him not to address her, though this perception cam

asonable enough, and well supported by such evidence as the ease admitted. Mr. Athel had at an earlier period entertained certain misgivings as to the desirability of such a marriage; misgivings which had reference to the disastrous story of the Redwing household; the conception of hereditary tendencies has become a strong force in our time, and pronounced madness in a parent cannot as easily be disregarded as it once was. But the advantages of the alliance were so considerable, its likelihood so indisputable, that prudence had scarcely fair play; besides, Beatrice had reached her twenty-first year without any sign of mental trouble, and seemed as sound a girl as could anywhere be discovered. The habitual sword-crossing between her and Wilfrid was naturally regarded as their mode of growing endeared to each other; their intellec

f the situations to which they led. Self-respect is conditioned by the influence of circumstance on character; in Emily it expressed itself as a subtle sensitiveness to grades of sympathy. She could not shut her eyes to the actuality of things; sincerity was the foundation of her being, and delicate appreciation of its degrees in others regulated her speech and demeanour with an exactitude inappreciable by those who take life in a rough and ready way. When engaged in her work of teaching, she was at ease; alone in the room which had been set apart for her, she lived in the freedom of her instincts; but in Mrs. Rossall's drawing-room she could only act a part, and all such divergence from reality was pain. It was not that she resented her subordination, for she was almost devoid of social ambitions and knew nothing of vulgar envy; still less did it come of reasoned revolt against the artificial ordering of precedences; Emily's thoughts did not tend that way. She could do perfect justice to the amiable qualities of those who were set above her; she knew no bitterness in the food which she duly earned; but, by no one's fault, there was a vein of untrut

know not even by domestic story the trammels of sordid preoccupation. Thus it was with a sense of well-being that she stepped on rich carpets, let her eyes wander over the light and dark of rooms where wealth had done the bidding of taste, watched the neat and silent ministering of servants. These things to her meant priceless opportunity, the facilitating of self-culture. Even the little room in which she sat by herself of evenings was daintily furnished; when weary with reading, it eased and delighted her merely to gaze at the soft colours of the wall-paper, the vases with their growing flowers, the well-chosen pictures, the graceful shape of a chair; she nursed her appreciation of these Joys, resisted the ingress of fam

l able to neglect this other invitation. The day had become sultry towards its close; when she joined the company about nine o'clock, she found Beatrice with Mrs. Rossall sitting in the dusk by t

f picturing, the result of frequent repetition. At the points of significance he would pause for a moment or two and puff life into his cigar. His anecdotes were seldom remarkable, but they derived

Rossall asked, when the sto

said Beatrice. 'This end

om with harmony suiting the hour. Wilfrid had come in and seated himself on a couch in a dark corner;

her bosom and arms radiant in bare loveliness. Emily, at the moment that she regarded her, found herself also observed. Her own dress was of war

' said Mrs. Rossall, as she took a seat by the girl's side. 'I wond

n!' Beatrice replie

sual; she lay back in the chair with

'in spite of your sleep in the hammock. The fir

am, a little,' m

corner to a nearer seat. His way of speaking was not wholly natural; like h

shness of youth,'

hness too in the present instanc

efer?' questioned he

her head suddenl

h a touch of her ingenue manner, though t

ear you,' was the sober reply, comi

impossible to hear that voice and remain unmoved; its sweetness, its force, its skill were alike admirable. Beatrice conversing was quite other than Beatrice when she sang; music was her mode of self-utterance; from the first sustained note it was felt that a difficulty of expression had been overcome, and that she was saying things which at other times she could not, disclosing motives which as a rule the complexities of her character covered and concealed, which were

hel began to speak of the piece the sound of Beatrice's voice replying caused Emily at length to look up, and she met the dark eyes, still large with the joy of song. Her own g

sposed to take his usual part in conversation, and his casual remarks were scarcely ever addressed to Beatrice. Presently Mrs.

Athel asked, after turning

rom absentness. 'Yes, I had it in the summer-house just b

admonished Mrs. Rossall. 'In the first p

frid said, risin

t will do

he said indifferently, a

it hung just above the house-roof. Gazing at the forms of silvered cloud floating on blue depths, he heard a movement immediately behind him; he turned, to behold Emily standing in the doorway. The moon's rays shone full upon her; a light shawl which seemed to have covered her head had slipped down to her shoulders, and

e you left us?' he asked, in a v

come out; the nigh

t

ritual beauty; the brow so broad and pure, the eyes far-seeing in their maidenly reserve, the lips full, firm, of infinite refinement and sweetness. He felt abash

ator,"' he said hurriedly.

is on t

ago. Without reflection, heart-beats stifling his thought, he stepped after her. The shadow made her turn rapidly;

mi

fire-currents of his veins, the passion which at the instant seized imperiously upon his being. She could not see his face, and hers to him was a half-veiled

frid's words at lengt

nce that you will come back. I must say to you what it means, the hope of seeing you again. All the other desires of my life are lost in that. You are my

ot come

ould not have caught the words; th

have said t

n his own, that exquisite hand which he had so often longed to touch; ho

must see you! You are often out very early; I shall be at the hollow, where we talked yesterday, early,

l meet

not seemed long: it was only of five minutes. Reaching the open windows, he did not enter at once, but

bout the night?' asked Mr.

wing,' Wilfrid exclaimed, once more with the n

Mrs. Rossall, as, followed by Beatrice, she approached the

he room after a few moments, and, as the air had grown cooler, the windows were closed. As Wilfrid seated himself in a dusky part of the room, he noticed that Beatrice was regarding him steadily. She had

as she tur

inquired Mr. Athel, who was stand

eatrice, laughing again slightly.

ay aided in bringing about that confession? Had she done anything, made a motion, uttered a tone, which broke away the barrier between herself and him? When she could recover self-consciousness, disembarrass herself of the phantom moments which would not fleet with the rest of time, it was scarcely joy which she read in her heart; apprehension, dismay, lack of courage to look forward beyond this night, these oppressed her. Then, close upon the haunting real

t her eyes rest upon the source of light. Then at length joy came and throned in her heart, joy that would mate with no anxious thought, no tremulous brooding. This was her night! There might be other happy beings in the world to whom it was a

her resource to remember his energetic will, his force of character; the happiness of passively submitting to what he might dictate; sure of his scrupulous honour, his high ideal. Could she indeed have borne to go into exile from his presence, without a hope that this the noblest and most aspiring life that had ever approached her might be something more than a star to worship? If wealth comes, we wonder how we drew breath in poverty; yet we lived, and should have lived on. Let the gods be thanked, whom it pleases to clothe the soul with joy which is superfluous to bare existence Might she not now hall

s of trees, the light and shade of heavy leafage, the blendings of colour by the roadside, the grace of remote distances; all these things she was making part of herself, that in memory they might be a joy for ever. It is the art of life to take each moment of mental joy, of spiritual openness, as though it would never be repeated, to cling to it as a pearl of great price, to exhaust its possibilities of sensation. At the best, such moments will be few amid the fateful succession of common cares, of lassitudes, of disillusions. Emily had gone deep enough in thought already to understand this; in her rapture there was no want of discerning consciousness. If this morning were to be unique in her life, she would have gained from it all that it

meeting! Emily stood with a shock of life at the gates of her heart. She tried to keep her eyes raised to his

r hand; no more than took her hand, for he was

?' he asked in a low voice trembling w

had not be

ve the ground,' he answere

young fir trees mingling with gorse and bracken. Beyond was the dense foli

mi

face for a moment, but the mov

he Knightes Tale. It is a name I have always loved, sweet, musica

then they passed on in silence

it was with a half-thought of this-so daring I was, you see! I have no fear of his kindness, his good sense. At the same time, it is right you should know that my independence is assured; my grandfather left me far more than enough for mere needs. By the summer of next year I shall be free of Oxford. I care little now f

s,' she

tinue to teach the

ched with a

is it possible? Would you

rid

ne; say what you think. I believe my father would

ily said, after a si

ue to live with us. I myself shall scarcely ever be at home; it will not be as if I dwelt under the roof; I will make my visits as short as possible, not to trouble you. I could not l

ep nearer to her; seemed about to draw neare

at,' she said. 'Mrs. Ross

d worth much more than Wilfri

id sm

the plan that common sense can object to? Your position is not that of a servant; you are from the first our friend

ar of the views

hey are unreasonable, absurd, our course is plain en

and held her

to Oxford?' he mused, caress

of fear in her sudden courage. 'You must not

be! Shall we not drain the world of its wisdom, youth of its delight! Hand in hand, one heart, on

t the myriads of human souls. Individuality the servant of passion; mysteries

eptibly, her raised fac

lieve-you know

e goddess that made herself woman for his sake-see, did he not hold her clasped to him! But she was mute again. The birds sang so loudly round about them, uttered their hearts so easily

Claim Your Bonus at the APP

Open