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A Life's Morning

A Life's Morning

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Chapter 1 AN UNDERGRADUATE AT LEISURE

Word Count: 7297    |    Released on: 29/11/2017

that he was overtaxing himself; his father remarked on the fact with anxiety, and urged moderation, his own peculiar virtue. Wilfrid, whose battle with

as easier said than done. What system of sedatives could one apply to a youngster whose imagination wrought him to a fever during a simple walk by the seashore, who if books were forcibly withheld consoled himself with the composition of five-act tragedies, interspersed with lyrics to which he supplied original strains? Mr. Athel conceived a theory that such exuberance of emotionality might be counterbalanced by studies of a strictly positive nature; a tuto

t he would make of himself in the end was uncertain; university distinctions would probably be of small moment to him as soon as they were achieved, for already he spent the greater portion of his strength in lines of study quite apart from the curriculum, and fate had blessed him with exemption from sordid cares. He led in a set devoted to what were called advanced ideas; without flattering himself that he was on the way to solve the problem of the universe, he had satisfaction in reviewing the milestones which removed him from the unconscious man, and already clutched at a measure of positive wisdom in the suspicion that lie might shortly have to lay aside his school-books and recommence his education under other teachers. As yet he was whole-hearted in the pursuit of learning. The intellectual audacity which was wont to be the key-note of his conversation did n

vents contributed to an appearance of culture. At the time of her husband's death she was at the point where graceful inactivity so often degenerates into slovenliness. Mrs. Rossall's homekeeping tendencies and the growing childhood of her twins tended to persuade her that her youth was gone; even the new spring fashions stirred her to but languid interest, and her music, in which she had some attainments, was all but laid aside. With widowhood began a new phase of her life. Her mourning was unaffected; it led her to pietism; she spent her days in religious observance, and her nights in the study of the gravest literature. She would have entered the Roman Church but for her brother's interposition. The end of this third year of discipline was bringing about another change, perhaps less obvious to herself than to those who marked her course with interest, as several people did.

wooing and the study of hieroglyphics, with marked success in both directions. The Mr. Athel who at that time represented parental authority, or at all events claimed filial deference, was anything but pleased with the step his son had taken; he was a highly respectable dealer in grain, and, after the manner of highly respectable men of commerce, would have had his eldest son espouse some countrywoman yet more respectable. It was his opinion that the lad had been entrapped by an adventurous foreigner. Philip Athel, who had a will of his own, wedded his Italian maiden, brought her to England, and fought down pr

a gentlemanly manner. With something of theoretic Radicalism in his political views, he combined a stout respect for British social institutions; affecting to be above vulgar prejudices, he was in reality much prepossessed in favour of hereditary position, and as time went on did occasionally half wish that the love he had bestowed on his Italian wife had been given to some English lady of 'good' family. He was liberal, frank, amiably autocratic in his home, apt to be peppery with inferiors who missed the line of p

kirting the lawn, contributed to the atmosphere of health and joy. It was nine o'clock. The urn was on the gleaming table, the bell was sounding, Mr. Athel stepped in straight from the lawn, fresh after his ten minutes' walk about the garden. Wilfrid Athel appeared at the same moment; he was dark-complexioned and had black, glossy hair; his cheeks were hollower than they should have been, but he had not the aspect of an invalid. Mrs.

ng up to town; did anybody wish to give him a commission? Mrs. Rossall l

to chicken and tongue. 'We are not Highlanders. It's dangerous to make diet too much a matter of theory. Your

replied his sister, who

d sugar-didn't I hear a suggestion of golden syrup, more honestly called treacle, yesterday? These things constitu

kind, M

ere in the habit of eating a satisfactory breakfast;

nterposed Mrs. Ross

ted her brother. 'If Miss Hood goes down

he twins show

the first thing in the morning is a mistake; the appetite

return to flagons of

at it wasn't bett

ughout this conversation, put down her spoon and appeared to abandon the effort

some things you can't very well get me, and then I ought to go and see

a smile, 'that I couldn't save you the trouble of the

replied Mrs. Rossall, with a far-off look.

e to crack the egg. The anticipation of her day

ome four miles away. The twins had gone upstairs with Miss Hood to their lessons, and Wi

e to do with yourse

, I t

you at the inn; the last time I was there they cooked me one of th

y we

' remarked his father, with genuine solicitude

N

ge regimen; it doesn't suit you. Ready, Edith?

me down, button

'I'd go off somewhere for the day

id la

led chops at the "Waggoner

ye, my dear boy. I wi

I'm all

oubt on his face. In a room above one of the twins was having a music lesson; a

ing after morning?' the you

patted the horse's sleek neck, and talked a little with the man. At length he made up

h Patty ran

imed. 'Have I caught yo

utting her arm through his and swinging upon him

ants t

nnie and

e Patty, th

th a half-annoyed gesture, but still swung on her cousin as he

up your mind,

quite made up,' he r

't you t

out lunch. No, I

t? Oh, I

asked, drawing out one of her curls between his fingers,

uld be so nice, w

onversation would try my weak head; I am

looked at him wi

ed,' she said. 'I must

-room. When he came down, Oberon was pawing the

eyes gleamed the untroubled joy of existence. Hope just now was strong within him, a hope defined and pointing to an end attainable; he knew that henceforth the many bounding and voiceful streams of his life would unite in one strong flow onward to a region of orient glory which shone before him as the bourne hitherto but dimly imagined. On, Obero

s ready; after he had eaten it he smoked a cigar among hollyhocks and sunflowers. Then impatience possessed him. He looked at his watch several times, annoyed to find that so little of the day was spent. When he at last se

you will,' h

orward to the

n! An hour will br

of a straw hat moving into a heath-clad hollow a hundred yard

ng down, 'take the horse

ed the hollow in which the straw hat had disappeared. Miss Hood sat on the ground, reading. She

said, in a friendly way. 'I s

inter called for them immediately after lunch.

A

f heather. Miss Hoo

again. 'Surely there is no country in Engla

y mu

re moors. The scenery, of cour

them myself,' s

taken your holidays some

ce in Lincolnshire called Cleethorp

hink

d rather frail; but her face, though lacking colour, had the firmness of health. It was very broad at the forehead, and tapered down into narrowness; the eyes seemed set at an unusual distance from each other, thoug

he open pages of the book, unsurpassable for delicate loveliness. When he did not venture to look higher, Wilfrid let his eyes feed on t

alone with the twins she was often gay enough. She was self-possessed, and had the manners of a lady, though in her position this was rather to be observed in what she refrained from doing than in what she did. Wilfrid had, on first meeting her, remarke

thorpes this year?' w

l most likely pass t

dy elect

principles of electricity, and explained the acquirement by telling him that this s

miling also, but faintly. 'It give

en interest in the

y to

ing possibly to its lack of strength, but in low tones, such as she employed at pres

said Wilfrid, leaning his chin upon his hand, and gazing

yes to him, but her fa

iness. 'Our tastes often differ, but we are always at one in

mother

es

brief affirmative kept Wilf

ccasion brings them forward. Whether there is deep sympathy between us, I couldn't say. Certainly there are many subjects on which I should not dream of speaking to him unless necessity arose; par

de no

one time rather hard to manage; I know I was very passionate and stubbornly self-willed. Yet he neither let me have my own way nor angered me by his opposition. In fact,

th a scarcely p

t illustrates what I meant in saying I doubted whether there was deep sympathy between us. Your own feeling for your

fice, which my father could

ficulty, as if she wish

hat your sex helps to expla

e I have more of the Italian nature than the English, and I know my mother's presence would be priceless to me now that I could talk with her. What unsatisfactory creatures we are as children, so imperfect, so deficient! It is worse with boys than with girls. Compare, f

e returned, watching a large butterfly

fore me; should I not leap at it and stick a pin through it-young savage? Precisely what a Hottentot boy would do, except that he would be free from the apish folly of pretending a

hter in her eyes. She was abandoning her

an I ever did; sometimes I suffer a passion of grief that one so beautiful and lovable has gone and left a mere dumb picture. I suppose even my memory of her will grow fainter and fainter, founded as it is on imperfect understanding, dim appre

till hummed about them. The hot after

ly about the house in vain, seeking for some one to talk to. And you listen so patiently. It is pleasant to be here and talk so freely of things I ha

he added, holding to her

out, took it from him. The exquisite finge

ends in Dunfi

ien

an-any girl who gives

cely

you are not deep in electrics? What

hink. I have only ju

note in a German edition of some classical author, every time fretting at

man can be endowed with it leads to nothing but frustration. Perhaps the appetite weakens as one grows in years; perhaps the sphere of one's keener interests contracts; I hope it may be so. At times I cannot work-I mean, I could not-for a sense of the vastness of the field b

n of being able to give y

rs; to follow it up I must traverse centuries of human culture. They tell me I have a faculty for philosophy, in the narrow sense of the word; alas! that narrow sense implies an exhaustive knowledge of speculation in the past and of every result of science born in our own time Think of the sunny spaces in the world's history, in each of which one could linger for ever I Athens at her fairest, Borne at her grandest, the glorious savagery of Merovingian courts, the kingdom of Frederick II., the Moors in Spain, the magic of Renaissance Italy-to become a citizen of any one age means a lifetime of endeavour. It is easy to fill one's head with names and years, but that only sharpens my hunger. Then there is the world of art; I would know every subtlest melody of verse in every tongue, enjoy with perfectly instructed taste ever

rdened into severity, the pose of her head impressive, noble. Athel regarded her for s

thoughts?' he

overing her won

often much the

ich is strong enough to meet a

l be on the point of a break-down, and each successive one will bring me

gested a truth. Very likely your mind will contra

es of feebleness which does not mark you? You have a mind as active as my own; I know that pe

haps it is my recognition of that which keeps me contented. There is

And t

eeing that difficult ones are closed. The literature of learning is out of my reach,

nse; that is the wise choice. Think; we feed ourselves with the secondhand wisdom of paltry philosophisers and

ook he

Greek! I will give you books, I will advise you, show you the essentials to begin with. There are still a few days be

e children. For the last quarter of an hour he had marked in her quite another aspect; the secret meanings of her face had half uttered the

Athel,' she said in a quietly decided ton

literature, I would give up to save my Greek. You will learn it, I know you will; some day I shall hear you r

earer to her. He saw the pearly shadows waver upo

ive some help to a friend who is preparing to become a teacher, and'-she tried to

plenty of time. Greek will be overcome, you will see. When we are all ba

ce. Her companion was drawn into himself; he stroked mechan

in October,' he began. 'I wish

ne desire?' the other re

to those conditions. I want to work in a freer way. I had a positive zeal even for examinations; now that seems tame-well, boyish. I believe I ha

ly alter when you have thoro

u don't,' he added with a smile, 'regard me as an irresponsible pe

id not m

nd his face showed

thought I had worked myself into a state of amiable imbecility, and was incapable henceforth of acting, think

himself to a position in which he rested on

reply? Why do

surely needless to say th

k in a way which troubles me. Do not look away

rob of her leaping heart betrayed itself in vein or muscle. She even met h

er spoken to me of yo

rous exaggeration. You of course understand

stinguish between

edge of hooks; now I have had leisure to gather knowledge of a deeper kind. I was a one-sided academical monster; it needed this new sense to make me human. The old college life is no longer my ideal; I doubt if it will be possible. At any rate, I

that graceful effortless way o

that I never thought of,' she said, a

d also

nding myself, for being as much mast

I do, Mr

ou that a civilised being must drink tea. I think I shall walk over to Greenha

ed before

y here and watch it till sunset. In a week I suppose I shall be l

e have only

assed from the ho

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