ng about me and focus on
And you need to stop spending all
r closer to her bedside and
ty of time,"
d be spending o
ust fine. Don't
ly for a moment, then r
o pause your life
her finge
'm were I want to be,"I sai
never truly left her eyes. It was just like her to
r for cash. But now? Her overdue medical bills were entirely cleared, a few of my o
he without constantly counting down the days until the next final notice arrived. The
off guard at the worst times-usually when a vivid flash of that hotel room returned, or when I re
ting moments where the transactional nature of it completely faded. He genuinely asked about my ed
d how remarkably fast that tension had begun to melt away. It sti
left me no choice. A few fleeting moments of warmth didn't rewrite the cold reality of our transaction. I had to force
hts away the moment Mum sh
lasses going?"
aying on top of all m
drifting toward the window. Th
have been so incred
took for granted. He ran a small business, and while we were never rich, we never had to stress over the basics. O
usiness wen
doors, and the way my father's laughter simply vanished. He passed away shortly after, from heart failure, leavi
in was a constant shadow. When her cancer diagnosis came, what little security
fleeting moment, I actually allowed myself to believe the
cancer c
ldn't pick up the phone to tell her good news, or hear her gently scold me about something I did wrong. I needed her to see me walk across the stage at gra
, I just desperate
sy of an anonymous benefactor. I had to keep that lie alive. If she ever found out what I did to get th
pping closer to her bedside
sted, offering a fr
er of my lips. I straightened and picked up the plate of freshly sliced
e next little while just chatting about nothing in particular. When she began to tire, I helped her settle comfort
ter pitcher was within easy reach and w
ed her I would. It was much easier than admitting that my appetite
-
as dead quiet when I w
polite nods before retreating back into our own worlds. We had shared this tiny space for months, yet our dynami
ning back and forth to the hospital, I never had the leftover energy to build a social life. Mum consumed almost all
tried to force myself to focus on an assignment. An hou
ceiling. I needed to focus. I needed to graduate. I needed Mum to survive. The list of demands fel
y unbidden, back to that hotel
when morning came. But I left anyway. It was far easi
night in my past. Whatever strange warmth I had felt in his presence was a luxury I si
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