Cast Aside: The Genius You Can't Have

“From eighteen on, I worked three jobs. Overnight shifts at a burger place, standing until one in the morning. Trays in the school cafeteria all day, until my wrist swelled too much to hold a pen. The reservation desk at the library, ten dollars an hour, seven weekends of it. The money went home one paycheck at a time: Colton's cleats, the family broadband bill, the four tires on my father's car. I held on year after year because I believed one thing: if I held this family up, there would be a place in it for me. The day my father put the down payment on that house, I had forty-two dollars left in my bank account - everything that remained after I paid for Colton's season gear. Four bedrooms, given to themselves and my two brothers. My father finished counting the doors and slapped his forehead. "Oh - how did we forget you." The fourth room was left over, south-facing bay window, the best light in the house. He said this one was for the two boys to do their homework in - quiet, good light. My mother set up the green folding bed in the laundry room, right next to the water heater. "You're the oldest, Alexa. Be sensible. Your brother needs the space." For thirteen years, what I did in that house was the work of an unpaid maid who got room and board. "You're an adult now. Stop expecting the whole family to revolve around your schedule." I washed my brothers' jerseys. I carried their equipment bags. I slept on concrete. The family desktop was unplugged and hauled away to make room for Blake's shoe rack. The day I graduated first in my class, my father threw my certificate into the trash - that thing wouldn't get you an athletic scholarship. Back then I thought that if I scrubbed enough grease and kept my mouth shut, they would love me someday. In their eyes I was an appliance. So when the email came from Switzerland - a full research scholarship - I didn't say a word. Tuition and housing covered. I hadn't been able to bear leaving home, so I hadn't replied. Over three days I found myself three reasons I couldn't go. I thought each one through carefully. None of them held. On the fourth day I opened the cracked laptop on the laundry-room floor and clicked Accept.”