Loving You Was the Lie

TER

ings H

lessandro had

able talent for leaving a room without actually ending a conversation, and app

side of the

If I hadn't seen him standing in my doorway hours earli

of the mattress an

th

. Not even a second message to make me fee

he photogr

dro. It was the familiarity in his expression, the slight tilt of his head, the way his e

there was

o had the

rriage, when we were still pretending that c

was from a chi

eliev

y that memory cam

ing for something that might prove I was looking at a str

ced something i

h rested on t

that

months ago. I'd asked him about it then, too, because

the box befo

ged to my

brot

supposedly died

ickly that th

se who might know where Alessandro k

n was also the last perso

ing flowers in the dini

sort of woman who could hear an argument from three rooms away and somehow know which

gave answers wi

en Alessandr

sted a w

etti lef

y where he

sig

cou

a moment. "Did you

d slightly betw

ke. Most people wou

noticed tha

do yo

nd som

on became ca

should ask your

He didn'

red the

ns are better

ost l

thing to say when nobody w

gno

ething I don't. Every time I ask a question, somebody tells me I'm better off not knowing. I

rs. Bellini looked ge

hallway before return

sband lo

the same as

aid quietly

on caught m

he familiar wall she usually place

ened to hi

ips p

nd, I thought she mi

shook h

ut the night

ach tig

t fi

though she'd just reali

I mentio

the flowers an

ft, listening to the sound of her

ht of t

rched Alessandro's family n

ographs of his father at charity events, and an old society col

a local newsp

s dated twelve

TI ESTATE LEA

reathing fo

ilding I'd seen only once, during a trip Alessa

ounded by dark tre

ght. One member of the household had died, although the

name was Ales

d it

n a

had begun

didn't menti

ain why Alessa

idn't explain the

n, but the archive ended abruptly. No follow-u

h of a burned bu

t and sent it to t

. Tell me wh

reply came almo

supposed t

d at th

her messa

t o'clock. The old ch

wed before I

lone,

told hi

en told him

he knew exact

d shortly before s

the engine carried through the open windows, follow

ing room with a b

read a si

oorway, loosening hi

didn'

ntouched plate on

not h

that thi

e world kep

nose, looking more ex

please not do

wh

hi

ured be

ed the

mean

ery conversatio

easons to ask question

ession h

t, neither

the room and s

you want

unexpected that I al

brot

e body we

the sudden tension in his shoulders to the

ou asking

I want

not an

ing you've ever t

oked

and frighteningly calm. I'd even seen him afraid, altho

s was d

oked li

s Luca," he

ait

fought constantly. He stole my things, lied to our

his face, so brief I m

it va

on in that house who

st tig

appened

d his thumb over

did it whenever he was tryi

e at the estate.

he al

returne

es

ou see

le

or me to understand that I

ssan

od abr

nt to talk

id I co

nged m

ed for

from my

really

sto

as the most frightening ans

he turne

old yo

hammered

on

lie t

hed at the au

ng me not to

es dar

rd to keep you out of somet

lp me un

can

ou wo

id no

pped

omeone has been

quickly that I knew I'd fi

ho

n't k

did th

sita

g to do. I saw it in

how me yo

N

w tigh

eas

d me more than hi

I considered telling him everything, showing

embered th

Alessandr

ghtened me more: that Alessandro knew h

ired,"

s searc

thing. I could see him fightin

he step

ur doors

rt stu

hy

I asked

ell me

t me for a

then someone has spent twelve ye

th wen

k another questio

tting room, staring

essage arrived, I wondered whe

was just as af

I told Mrs. Bellini

into dark jeans, a black

my phone into my pocket and l

was being

would be furious

my husband to tell me the truth, I mi

llowed by darkness. I followed the narrow path toward the

d this part of

nches twisting overhead. Even during the day

, small and abandoned, its stone

light glo

d open

photograph stoo

t, neither

ng. He had Alessandro's eyes, Alessandro's mouth

were diffe

n't slept properly in years. And when he looked at me, there was some

rtai

a," h

voice made the whole th

're

nod

a step

upposed t

kno

o thinks y

ression

es

sent a chill

oes tha

toward the

d you f

ontact

you one

to tell Alessandr

know what he'll d

red a

don't know whether h

my brother is

I d

t me for a

id, "You m

g more than th

. I

that Alessandro does

her d

like admiration

rstood that Luca wasn't si

spent twelve years

ng was, he believed his o

out the fir

looke

h our father. Alessandro was supposed to be th

hy

That's what he

see him t

hesit

he no

es

began t

he

ouse. Before t

he al

N

seemed to g

as wit

met m

fat

row

d your fathe

s. At

him, trying

the altar and approac

sn't an acci

ds before I un

re you

r was already dead wh

mach t

Aless

ed his ey

small metal box. I didn't know what was inside it,

you tell t

e came to my room that night

ldn't

ked at m

oney, my life. I thought if I disappeared, whoe

reatene

r saw h

u know Alessand

ning, I heard his voi

did he

swall

und. He said there was no way

ok my

n't prove

agreed. "

ime, he looked

. But I didn't have proof, and I wasn't going to come back and des

y contac

ression

someone f

from outsid

turned towa

tst

Deli

e drained

o leave," h

ha

ow

is

d enough to hurt, but firm

ver happens, don't tell Ale

eps stoppe

the hand

d moved toward the narr

aid. "Pretend y

pel doo

urn

the entrance, his

om me to the man

rothers stared at each

et out a quiet, d

years,"

didn'

stepped int

choose my wife to deliv

pression

choose her

ndro s

l is that sup

ooked

k at his

you told her a

gaze snappe

oom tilt ben

talking abou

ro didn'

ok another ste

d have sta

into the silenc

d at my

he'd said only after the

e a bitt

one truth you'v

ro lunge

g a wooden chair aside. Luca shoved him away

" I sh

of them

nd for several seconds they fought like men

o seized Luca

idea what y

ghed bre

ve no idea

andro

or a second,

e

nguarde

away and reached

hand went t

," he

ignor

, folded photograph a

ke

sita

it,

e photograph

o turned

it t

pped

's in

you nee

are you af

ession d

ve me the

oked

ee people stood in front of the Moretti e

was someth

rhaps seventeen. Luca couldn'

en them, one hand restin

the edge of the phot

I reco

use I'd

face in a framed photog

mo

told me died wh

my eyes

mother in thi

drained fro

topped

vening, neither brother s

m, the photograph tr

she died befo

ro's lip

swer

ked a

e when the fi

id no

hing far worse than the possibility tha

had been rewriting th

without telling me that I wa

ok a careful

Give me the photograph, an

loved, the man whose face

wondered whether I'd

I whis

ression

eas

ok my

elve years

walked out

rother fo

e path, my phone vi

rom an unkn

ath the trees

greeting. N

photo

ed my b

. The half-open drawer w

ectly beneath the lamp

ge beneat

he wrong br

screen until the

er message

who was burie

ack toward

ould see my husband standi

was

was looking d

d, as if he wante

ldn't

t sure whether I was afraid of the

an I had