The One Day My Life Is Not A Movie

my outfit four times, practised introducing myself eleven tim

urally, had don

eciate how honestly

he second made me look like I was trying to sell someone a house. Th

th was t

myself after putting the firs

my room. "Does this

d at the door, ho

d me from h

es

st

say? That the trousers have ex

down at m

ld be su

also trying to drink my

r again, adjusted my blous

ty because arriving late to a meeting with a producer seem

was already outs

checked the number above the entr

nitely the

nt i

. One man wore a dark suit and held a script marked with so many coloured tabs that I wonde

s quietly practising

with the relaxed expression of someone who had ne

her imm

the window and placed

inutes

n t

a phone call and stepped outside. The man

ked my

essa

er Joshua rememb

istant, and probably had more important things to do than spend th

bsolutely nothing

, the receptionis

y that my handbag

the suit

retrieved it, hopin

h

urse

woman who appeared to be in her late thirties. She wore glasses, had a notebook open in front of her, and possesse

reeted me. "Glad

u for inv

towards the

Moore, our cas

led and sh

of on the table. I had no intention of giving anyone another rea

opened

role, but you followed the direction

one video you sent. It was raw,

nk y

een doing since

for opportunities to improve. I've

ed up from h

ind of

I've been trying to understand how a character's

ed me for

have you

ered the

acter. I can remember every word and still deliver a terrible pe

slightly. Not dramatically,

useful dis

look too plea

losed th

major film, but we're looking for actors who can work well with

egan beati

'd love to be

read. Don't worry about making it perfe

few pages ac

ked t

affected their family. It wasn't particularly long, but the character had several emotio

d it

n a

u're ready,"

be

was a polite way of saying I had rememb

ped me half

anger quite strongly, but what if the character d

at the pa

trying t

nger cover somethin

odd

arted

speaking to the one person whose opinion mattered most to her. I softene

hed, the roo

wondered whether I had so

l closed h

tte

wo

have hug

s trying to establish m

as comfortable working long hours when a production required it. I answered honestly, resi

, the meet

" Joshua explained, "but we'll cont

Thank you fo

r hands and

elf to breathe properly for th

secured

een reject

ewhere in

lities had given me exac

uld have

-

er, I receiv

e read: Thank Y

it before

They had appreciated meeting me but had sel

might appear at the bottom announcing tha

ng ch

d the m

ejection was part of acting. Everyone said so. Experienced act

didn't make

across town. I had tried to give

d chosen so

nd me staring

d n

odd

he chair beside

se anothe

ry, swee

d my fo

ect, but I thought I

ps you

idn't they

the best person in the room. It's about finding th

ked a

alented and still not be ri

back in

wanted, but it was pr

p trying and n

matters to you. But you haven't reached th

the rejectio

y sta

s both comfortin

d and returned

annot build a career on disapp

r, smiling de

earned from the meeting. I made a note to keep practising emotional sc

ved Joshu

, but because I wanted to remember that I had

I applied for two

was gl

promis

r chance to walk into a

g road leading towards a single glorious moment. It was a collection

ctory was getting out

tried

verything. I didn't know that millions of people would eventual

I was Jen

iring

ore ambition

how to handle rejection without looking as

work in