Five Nights

ell in the last three months since the night of our reconciliation, and even h

s nothing the matter with her,

r late breakfast I found a long, thin, cur

her suddenly turn pale, and she laid it back

uzee! I am sure it is! Why should it

prise, and took up the

comes from her?" I asked;

," she said sim

irst line, however, my eye fell upon shewed me it was from Suzee. The queer, stiff, u

ister T

by. I sent here to be sold for slave to rich Chinaman. Please you bu

eevor, do come to me.

urs not

UZ

en quantity to me, something left in the past of the Alaskan trip, like the stars

silence. She read it through,

There is no peac

d. "Suzee is nothing to me now. I don't wa

I suppose," returned Viola gloomily. She wa

perience for you. You would go if that letter came to

ourse, when one is free it is dif

er eyes filling. "I hate

"one does not want to do the sa

n my account, I am not going to prevent yo

rchief pressed to her mouth. The tears welled up to h

ou are upsetting yourself for nothing. I don't want to go, I shan

against me in silence, s

ntly, "and don't let us think anything more about it. I

e. We had other letters to open, and we discussed th

after dinner, when we were taking our coffee on the verandah, t

to let me go away

our of her face had fled. Her eyes were large, with the pupils widely dilated in t

my chair close to hers and put

want to now. But I have a good reason, one which you will understand when you know it. But do just let me go

over?" I repeated in

morning, do

e, only I put it off because I thought you would dislike it so and would feel dull without me. But now, if you let me leave you,

as I listened. How could she de

re for me or valu

o reason on earth

ng so foolish," I said coldly; "I can't think how

t for a moment.

tell you everything, and y

would come back," I said, wi

for a time, and then bring them out again to play with. It's absurd. You talk of going away and driving me to another woman, and then my coming back to you, as if it was just

clined h

of all that. But if I stay there will be a separ

by a separation?

ore as I used. I must have rest for

he looked. She was thinner, too, than she had been. Her delica

urning to my face a

erhaps I have been thoughtless and selfish. If so, we must alter thi

e. You are always most good. It is not that only. There are other reasons why I

oman till you come back?" I said incredulously; dismay and appreh

I came back?" she asked, looking at me with a slow, sad smile, the saddest look I had ever seen, I though

your going away; whatever happens, we'll stick to each other. If you want rest you shall have it;

or, if you would trust me just this once,

think what you have in your own mind, but I know nothing would be a greater mis

a moment, broken onl

ol

teries with one another; it seems to me you are acting just like a person in an old-fashioned book. You can

k separation might,"

ltering my love for you, but in separation som

was

hat you have in your mind. Why ha

n, he is obliged to say and do certain things in return. If you take the ma

I said smiling. "I am to gain

cipally it is for myself. I know there is a great ris

Although she said she had formed the idea before Suzee's letter came, I kept r

her own accord. But she sat quite silent, looking intensely miserable and staring

atter," I said, drawing her close

like stupid people one reads about. Life has everyth

against my neck and sobbed in a he

ove me, that you feel your own p

tainly n

I want to, or ought

not t

ll me wha

happy again, after the year, i

anger grow

id it. Don't let us talk about it any more or speak of

silence, broken

io

es

hear what

es

n't go, so it is settled. Nothing ca

ut she ceased to cry and kiss

minutes' silenc

do you good. You look tired an

arms quickly and easily. I lay awake, as hour after hour passed,

I fell asleep and did not wake again till the

very unusual for Viola to be up first. She generally lay in bed till the last moment, and always dissuaded me from getting up till I insisted on doing so. I sprang up now and went over to the toilet-table. On the back of her brushes lay a note addressed to me in her handwriting.

had so lately lain beside me filled me with a resentful agony. She had gone from me while I

calm enough to tear op

*

y deare

in anything in all the time we have been together And now

and let me return to you at the end of this miserable year which stretches before me now a desert of ashes and which seems as if it would never pass over, as if it would stretch into Eternity.

shall see no one we know. Say wh

om you, think of your life as entirely your own; do not hesitate to go to Suzee, if you wish. I feel somehow that Fate has de

IO

*

threw it from me. Anger against her, red anger in which I could have killed

she had been wearing yesterday apparently, and taken one small hand

I saw her evening and other dresses hangi

rom the toilet-table was the l

came over me, mingling with the sava

se from my chair

e whole place spoke to me of her, was impossible. As soon as I could get everyth

use my waiting

letter, she had come suddenly back to me, having failed in her resolution. I remembered that, and paused suddenly at the recollection. But

as, some benefit to me was

wledge came home to me that, whatever her faults might be, however foolish and maddening her acti

he little crumpled sheet of paper I had so savagely crushed

d only taken rooms here. By paying

ith them? Keep them with me or

resentment as I took up first one thing and then another: the touch of them seemed to burn me. Then, when I was half-way through a trunk;

vice of trains to town; one I knew left in the morning at seven,

ved one again that is so unendurable in the first hours of separation, I thought

re waiting, and they stared at

ready for breakfast? I

ortly. "I am go

nsdale be com

pped

out already," I answered,

e is in great pain, physical or mental,

out a mile distant, and made enq

t left there by any train that morning, nor been there at all,

n, so it seemed improbable she c

e six miles distant. She might easil

personally, and though I described her, and was assured she had not been se

in unnoticed, or she might have gone down the line to

I drove back to the station a

ntered the bed caught my eye, the pillow her head had so lately crushed, an

feeling of suffering so intense and so vast, it seemed

sed my eyes. I ceased to think any more, I was unconsc

train to town. I felt to stay there the night, to attempt to sleep in that room so full of

I addressed them, but I hardly saw them, doing what was necessary in a mechanical way, wit

er by going to town which buoyed me up instinctively; but the reaction was terrible when I actua

re of agony and pain. Sleep was out of the question. A man does not lo

er bankers, only to get just

ad, and they had her address but were not at liberty to dis

d out my whole heart in the letter, imploring her to come

ill I had written it, and when it

wards, and amongst other let

hat night when she came to my cabin. She would be quite capable of searching for an

partly responsible for all I was going through. Whatever Viola might

club, and a man I knew

I see," he began, t

Mrs. Lo

, thank you

up wit

N

p soon, I

n't k

or twice, and then after a f

n fact we were living apart, and by the evening a decree nisi would have been pronounced for us. But I didn't c

e club, cross the end of the dining-room. He, too, w

always loved Viola, who had always envied me her p

ent back to my rooms, and the

out to 'Frisco? It would make a change, something to do, somet

ce. What was the use of continuing to feel i

, more urgent than the last. She begged me to go to her without delay,

echo of the one I had sent to Viola that morning. Well, I would wait for her a

the money for her purchase. It would be best to ca

arly sleepless nights, and then came Viola's answer,

a mass of dancing black lines. Yet the immense comfort of being again in touch with her afte

read the

uch you have suffered, but my return to you now would not undo that, a

p your life with joy and work. I have a conviction that we cannot ever really separate in this life. Therefore I do not fear (as you seemed to do) that anything will be strong enough to keep us apart

IO

*

seized me as I

r. It seemed like

s motionless with h

t office in Piccadilly, and go