Five Nights

like a past dream in the background of my memory. But still how clear the dream, how bright each moment of it, and how long to my retrospective vision! Was it possible I had only

ck upon it, it appears short as a day; while a week in which we have travelled far, seen several cities and been glad in each, t

the picture seemed to gather round, and centre in a sweet youthful face with the blue stone earrings, hanging against th

orning, too, and felt I needed rest and quiet thought. How the red flame leapt in the grate, and what a rich, warm, wine-dark colour it threw all round my red room! I rose and drew the heavy crimson curtains across the windows to shut out

ny colour shows off white flesh to better advantage, though pale blue in this matter runs it close; but this was not the prompting motive. Rather it was that i

numerous white unused sheets of paper near it. I felt in despair. Not even a sket

corresponds to the perfect ideal in one's brain, the constant raising of hope and ensuing disappointment as a misshapen foot or crooked knee destroys the effect of neck

nd quiet of it had crept over me and into me, gradually soothing away all vexations, when a

glad to f

sound of the soft voice, a

w her into the firelight which sparkled gratefully on her tall

g all the afternoon and as I was driving past I t

said as I wheeled anothe

You have noth

electric lights and switching them on; "and if I

ugh! What a contrast to the rough gi

are not going to turn me out, for I am chilly and tired and want my tea and a talk

oured, falling through tinted globes, and soft as the firelight. She looked exqui

ed fur and which fitted her lovely figure cl

gloomy day," I said. "I have had a horrid m

Phryne?" she answered, glancing round; "ot

inspiration, they would kill any one had. All last week I was trying to find

for Viola was my cousin and no one else knew or understood me so well as she did.

n. The tall, graceful ones are too thin, I want those subtle, gracious lines, but I don't want sharp bones and corners. I

d at me, and our gaze got locked together. A thought had sprung suddenly between us. I realised all at once I was descri

paralysed me and took speech from my lips. Just in that moment the door opened and tea was brought in. I turned my attention immediately to making it, and what with asking her how much sugar she would have and pressing her to take hot toast and crumpets, the cloud of embarrassment passed and all was light and easy again. I dismissed th

saw her heart must be beating fast, for

ould let me be your m

ning stream across her face, forcing the tears to her eyes.

rds towards her. My own heart seeme

nk of such a thing! It is

looking away from me. I saw the tears well up ove

she murmured in a low tone, "and I thi

cate white hand that hung over the arm in mine and pressed i

have offered it, never cea

an honour to be made part of your work, to live for ever in it, or at least much longer than in mortal life.

rom that in which it would present itself to most women. But, then, the outlook of an artist upon life and all the things in life is entirely different from that of the ordinary person. It takes in the wi

Our temperaments were alike though our gifts were different, and we served the

s, to me, simple enough,

d not a

rned u

she sai

because it is too

is no sacrifice.

ure you if it

not becom

ng become

ouldn't car

It might stand in the way of y

wn cousin. Why, Trevor, we are part of each other, as it were. I am like your own sister. What can it matter? While you are painting me I shall be nothing, the picture will be everything. I am no more t

istry, dearest,

ver," she said softly, "at least if you

h the eye or divined. The throat was long, round, and full, the fall of the shoulder and the way its lines melted into the curves of the breast had the very intoxication of beauty in them, the wai

use it so little. To let it be of service to you, to give you just what you want, to create a great picture

d. I said

"nor shall I persuade you any more. I leave it entirely in your hands.

delicate beauty hard to define. The beauty o

nd kissed her bri

nk it of you! And I could never find a lovelier model; you know it is not tha

ith a laugh in her love

picked up a fur necklet from h

she said softl

and all the atmosphere about me! It seemed as if she had filled it with electricity. My pulses were all beating hard. The quiet of the studio was intolerable

erally had a red and gold Japanese screen. I went in and switched on th

n was the greater because she was so absol

thing there was practically no one else to be consult

ht, she had been brought up by an old aunt who simply worshipped her and

severe as a boy's, and Viola knew her Greek and Latin and mathematics better than I knew mine, thou

e was really one of the children of the gods, as she put it,

ntrol those who in reality are so much greater than we are. I leave Viola to judge for herself about life, I always h

aining had given her an intelligence and d

nor mixed much with other girls of her own age, she was free from all those small, petty habits

ce also would, of course, be quite impossible, but I had m

rce of its perfect and triumphant beauty, swept away the reason of all that circle of grey-bearded hostile judges called upon to condemn it, had carved for itself a pla

l through me. I knew, and told myself so, every half second, that Viola's temptation was one I ought to and must resist, and yet the idea of yielding filled me with a wild instinctive delight that no reason could suppress. Yes, because once an artist has seen or conceived by his own imagination his perfect ideal, nothing els

stinctive, peculiar, arresting. I was not a painter of types, but of exceptions. The common things of life are not interesting, nor do I think they are worth

ty: an active anxiety to accept another sitter and withstand the temptation of Viola, which fought desperately with the more passive anxie

ught! Those last hours before an artist gives the first concrete form to the brain children of his intangible dreams, how full of a double life he seems! I was back from lunch and in the studio early; I could no

scard the drapery as she liked. I should not attempt to pose her; I would not even direct her; I should simply watch her, and at some moment during the unveiling she would fall naturally into just the pose-some po

no fear of seeming to copy Leighton. What true artist ever fears he may be considered a copyis

ready the Phryne of Athens for me, but when suddenly a light knock came on the door outside my heart seemed to stand still and I could hardly find voice to say, "C

evor," she added, gazing at me closely, "you are looking a

ccept your offer, but the temptation is too great. If you feel the same

nswered earnestly. "You can't think how

, holding her two hands and looking down in

raperies, and then, standing on the dai

ry, and, if I don't do it rightly, you

o me and asked for the dress. I gave it to her and showed he

, gathering up all the thin drapery, walked

to think of the right or wrong of my action. I was too absorbed

o the platform at once. I had withdrawn to a chair as far from it as was practicable, divining that the nearer I was the more my presence would weigh upon her.

e Phryne, and I was nothing but

tion she unclasped the belt, and then taking the sides of it, one in each hand, with its enclosed drapery, which parted easily in the centre, she made a half step forwards to free herself from it, and stood revealed from head to foot. It was the moment. Her head thrown up, with her eyes fixed far above me, her throat and the perfect breast thrown outwards and forwards, the slight bend at the slim waist accentuating the round curves

shock of hearing my voice; then stood rigid. I

as a marvellous whiteness: there seemed no brown, red, or yellow shades upon it; nor any of that mottled soap ap

hat lifts the artist to the feet of heaven. There is no happiness like

knew nothing, but that the glorious image was growing, taking life under my hand. I was in a w

nce it seemed, a little cry

, I mus

opped the pap

ture. I picked it up and gazed on it with rapture-how perfect it was! The best thing of a lifetime! Viola seemed so long behind the screen I grew anxious and walked over to it. As I came round it, she was just drawing on her bodice, her arms and neck were still bare. She motioned me back imperatively, and I saw the colour stream across her face. I retreated. It was absurd in a way, that blu

and came towards the fire shivering. I drew her into my arms, strained her ag

for me what no one else could. I can

ound my neck, and

e said softly. "You are so beautiful and so nice about

otten you were standing so long.

I got so cramped. I couldn't keep my limbs still any lon

I said remorsefully, "and so long. It

l in one position every day all this las

felt burning with a sense of elation, of delighted triumph. The picture was there. It glimmered a white patch agains

ings, she did so simply, grandly, in a way that suited the greatness of her nature. There was no mincing modesty, no self-conscious affectation. The agony of confusion that

low chair and sat

believe existed-an absolutely perfect body without a fault or flaw anywh

appy look came into her ey

our expectations?" she murmured. I lifted

to the dark blue eyes above me with my own burning wit

like to see it,

and set it so that we both could see it tog

I asked suddenly

idealised

vine," I replied quietly. She looked at me, her fa

You have drawn it magnificently. What life y

and looked

put on her hat and cloak. When I had fastened the l

pect you

to go, so I must; but I need not stay long. I can leave at three and be here at h

t is a br

ions. I shan't, if I am coming here, but I h

r hands and

your amusements, your time

a la

ns and teas! As long as I have time for

ing the fire; her large soft, fearle

ards towards h

thank you or express a hund

er softest smile and a warm

d lightly. "My reward is great enough,

nt out, and

*

re grew rapidly, I was absorbed in it, lived for it, and had that strange peace and glow

s and the picture. Our tea together afterwards, when we discussed the progress made and the colour effects, was a delight. But the moment the door was closed after her, when she had left me, a blank

wn a little and drew up my great comfortable couch, like a Turkish divan, to the fire.

med and let her eyes close

lear fairness and transparency, and the beautiful expressive

her trust in me, the knowledge of herself and her beauty she had allowed me gave birth s

eyes, but raised her arms and put them round my neck, pressing me to her. In a joyous wa

as I would let her, "I am afraid

you, I want for my own. You must marry

e replied in very soft tones, but s

y n

: it prevents their devel

ight of the contact with her, of knowing her in my ar

y women have

nswered. "I have been w

have ever loved

ttle girl in the t

ved her. I wanted h

just the sa

ite different. Do not

e and tell me

leant over me, kissing me on the eyes and lip

u would love me. You would not want to be unfaithful to me. But fidelity to one person is madness an imp

tenderness of a moment back seemed gone, her words had

't care about anything. You shall

you were fifty-eight I w

again and put my hands up to her soft-haired head to pull i

are mad. Le

ree to get up. She sat up on

said angrily. The nervous excitement of the moment was so great; ther

ears welled into her

hall come, must come every day if you want it till

r little hand

h stupid things. Of course you will marry me; why, we are h

he table up to the fire, which I

of the couch in silenc

of tea and came and sat beside her while she drank it. Then I put my arm round her waist and got her

that lay cold and nerveless

two people could love each other more than we do. It would be absurd of us not to marry." I kissed her, and she accepted my caresses a

ne of the sketches I had first

oments how strong this passion was that had grown up, as it were, u

me! I felt that I could worship her, literally. That

loss, if she ever gave herself to another, would be unendurable. If that happened I should le

out of shape, twisted, or crooked, this same passion would cease to be. The love and affection and esteem I had for her would remain, but

e, for had they enclosed a stupid or commonplace mind they would h

from within a form of outward beauty, and only t

wn yet its equal. She loved me, too, that great fact was like a chord of triumphant music ringing through my hear

o think of anything but her, and all through the night I tossed about, restless and sl

ntinue. She must and should marry me. It was only for me she h

om seemed swimming round me, and the faultless, dazzling figure before me seemed receding into a darkening mist. I flung away my brush and rose

la's voice, sharp with anxiety, across the

head down on the mantelpiece. "Go

the dais. I did not turn, but sank into the ar

passed before my e

er come over to me. I looked

, Trevor! I

hat's all," I said constrainedly, t

could go out and get some dinner, if you have, a

e. I should like to stay

of her hands between my own

have you for my own, till we are m

Her face had crimsoned violently,

one. I can't work on it any more. It can't be he

glance of dismay at the only ha

ered dinner and were seated before it at the restaurant table we found we

t you wouldn't finish the picture

of the eyes, the bright curls of her hair in the glow of the elect

got to a point where I must g

adful to leave

t's have some champagne. Perhap

e, and the wine had

hansom to the theatre. As we sat close, side by side, i

ming back to the studio with me after the theatre I s

o quiver in silence, and looked

ves of light and colour. I was lost in wondering where I had better go to get fresh inspiration, to escape from the picture, from Viola, from myself. Awa

ibule at th

ve supper somewhere with me,

off, to delay that frightful wrench that seems to tear out the insi

to the studio with you

ating violently. Her face was very pa

ugh the throng an

nsom. I could hardly breathe: my heart seemed stifling me. What w

houghts went round

per and to go to the studio

I want any supp

at flame leapt through

beside her, full of that delight that touches in its intensity upon