Book of Etiquette, Volume 2

NT IN THE

mouse" says the old proverb. Which is, sadly enough, the state

part in the household affairs of our homes, more than the wages we pay them. We owe them gratitude, courtesy, kindness. Many elaborate dinners would be failures if it were not for the silent members of our households

y known and understood. And those who serve as butlers and maids and valets must also know the little rules of good conduct that govern their duties and respo

TO THE

rtained and where the hostess holds many for

the appointments of the house. They should be well instructed in their duties and they should be expected to carry t

household may be fortunate enough to find one suited to her requirements. Sometimes she secures a maid or butler by the recommendation of som

rom the beginning just what his or her duties will be. And the mistress should not engage a servant unless she feels sure that he

o all she can to make the newcomer feel at ease in her new surroundings. Her directions should be requests, not commands, a

gh carelessness a reprimand may be necessary, but to scold in loud, angry tones is most ill-mannered. The well-bred woman will never forget that there is as much demand for courtesy and kindliness in her relations with her

TO THE

occupation; just as "brokers" and "salesmen" and "housewives" denote certain people in other occupations. Therefore the servants who read these sentence

duties day after day, persisting in work which may sometimes become monotonous and which would be easy enough to shirk, but which you do for the comfort and pleasure of your mistress. You find yourself in the position of keeping o

table must wear a fresh new blouse and a crisp apron. Soiled finger-nails or unclean hands ar

, they are exposed to unusual temptations-but that is just the reason why they should refrain from dishonesty of any kind

nd thoroughly, and she carries out the commands of her mistress without question. If, however, a maid thinks that a certain task could be done much more quickly and satisfactorily in another way, she may suggest it to her mistress and request her permission to do it in that way. If she is reprim

erstanding friendliness develops between a faithful maid and a kind and courteous mistr

elping others that true happiness is found, and that the world

ADDRESS

ret. The full first name should be used. A pleasant "Good morning, Margaret," starts the day right, both for the mistress and the maid. In England the surname is preferred but they do

sed by his surname unless he is a man w

urteous man or woman who will address servants in a peremptory, rude tone. And it is especially ill-bred and unk

D AND TH

The child that hears the servants addressed in rude, haughty manner will quite naturally adopt the same manner towards them. And no one, child

tes and also to their mother who was sitting near by. Seeing that she did not offer her governess some peanuts, the woman i

parents that makes such vain, unkind little children as the one mentioned above. It is actually unfair to the young children in the home to set the wrong example by be

ISIBLE

l models, sometimes sitting up all night to finish the garment. But the court ruled that it made no difference whether they had made them themselves or not; they had worn clothes like their mistresses', and they must be punished! We

liberately build up a barrier between ourselves and those who work for us. Perhaps there must be some suc

enter their quarrels and take sides with them. But she can be cheerful, polite, considerate; and invariably

E SERVA

have been for many years in the employ of the same people, may omit the "madam" and use the name, in this manner,-"Yes, Mrs. Brown." Such sl

e, when a servant takes a message for one of the members of the household, a polite "Thank you, madam" is essential. If there is a doubt as to whether or not the hostess is at home, t

he announces them in clear, distinct tones. These announcements are made while the guests are entering the drawing-room. A mother and two daughters are announced as: "Mrs. Smith, the Misses Smith." If the given names of the young ladies are called,

NTS OF A

is a small one, one maid and one butler are sufficient. But in a very large house with numerous rooms, where many social functions are held and ma

are also added, sometimes, to the corps of servants. But this list may be increased or diminished according to the requirements of the individual family. For instance, a second-man may be placed under the direction of the butler; a gardener and his assistan

ities of the women, leaving the men to be directed by her husband. It is important, though, for the mistress of the house not to give counter command

BU

t the table is laid correctly, the lighting effect satisfactory, the flowers arranged, and in short that the room and appointments are in perfect readiness for a punc

nd at large entertainments the maid who assists in the pantry may also be requested to serve. The butler also is in charge of the aftern

do the heavier work, then he is expected to serve in a small measure as the valet for the master of the house. He lays out his evening clothes, brushes and presses the garments worn i

hall is in order and well-swept, and that the drawing-room door is locked every night after the family has retired. A

RESS FOR

day. His hair should not be closely cropped, but cut loosely, and it should be well-brushed at all times. Well-kept nails are,

ged, and each new season finds a slight variation from the costume of the season before. So the best thing to do is to find out definitely from a re

w-tail coat. It is also permissible for him to wear a short roundtail coat in the morning hours; it is similar to the gentleman's tailless ev

aidings or facings, though the material of the suit may be every whit as excellent in quality as that worn by the master of the house. The butler does not wear a white waistcoat, a watch chain, or jeweled studs with his afternoon or evening livery. Nor may he wear a boutonnière or an asse

r the custom for men serv

for the second man. In cold weather he is supplied with a long footman's coat; and he is also s

SECO

ing next to the chauffeur when the mistress is motoring. In the latter case he wears the regular livery matching

lishes the silver. He tends to the open fireplace in winter, and to the arranging of the flowers in the summer. The veranda, front ste

f the house. It is usually a very dark green, brown, gray or blue, and the outside edge of the trouser leg is piped in some contrasting color. The coat is usually swallow-

an entirely different color and cut. With his livery described above, the second man wears a waistcoat of Valencia, striped in the two colors that appear on the coat and trousers. It is usually cut V shape, disclosing white linen in which are fas

ept hands and nails, and the use of jewelry or perfume should not be tolerated in the second man, whether he serves only a

CHAU

chauffeur of to-day. But we find that his livery is no l

a stiff visor and a band of the same contrasting color that appears on the collar and cuffs of the coat. Dark gloves and shoes are worn. Sometimes, instead of long trousers, the chauffeur wears knee-trousers with leather leggings. If desired, a double row of brass, silver or pol

ly wears gray or brown cords, developed in th

OF THE

it is always spotless and shining, that it is in good condition and will not break

, he touches the rim of his cap. It is not necessary, however, upon reaching the destination for the chauffeur to descend and open the door for his mistress. His place is at the wheel and that is where

her social calls, and he rings house bells for her. He is also expected to be

ed to the foreign country, for negligence may cause him much delay and trouble when he reaches the border-line. He must also arrange for the sleeping and eating facilities of his chauffeur when they stop for a day or two in

VA

rts and desires of the master of the house. He takes no

gh-buttoned black waistcoat and a plain black swallow-tailed coat or one cut with short rounded tails. He wears a dark tie and dull

pon to serve as a butler, and he then wears complete butler's dress, with the long-tailed coat. When traveling with his employer, the valet wears an inconspicu

d packs and unpacks his trunks whenever he is traveling. He does all his errands, buys his railway and steamship tickets, pays his bills, and carries his hand-luggage when they are traveling together. Some

E

many and varied. He runs errands for everyone in the house, assists the parlor-maid, looks after the open fire places and opens the

nds at the waistline except for a slight point at back and front. Metal buttons set as closely together as possible fasten the coat from top to bottom. The trousers are piped or braided in the contrasting color down the outside of

hree of the same buttons sewed on the outside seam of the cuffs,

AID-S

ves. Let each one understand from the very first day he begins work just what his duties are. In this case as in many another an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. If there are quarrels among

stom. This is assuming, however, that there is no butler in the home. In this case she attends to all the other duties that would ordinarily fall up

isting the waitress in the pantry and keeping the library and drawing-room in order. But in the average comfortable home of America there are usually only two maids,

er large apron, and a small white cap. The chambermaid's costume is very much the same. In the afternoon the parlor maid or waitress changes

rvant is outfitted. A large department store, or a store devoted exclusively to the liveries of servants, will be able to tell you exact

haps a pair of cuff links, is permissible; but bracelets, rings and neck ornaments are in bad taste. Elabor

Y'S

d keep her room tidy. But she does not sweep or dust the room or make the bed-these are the duties of the chamber-maid. If she is an accomplished maid she will probably do a great deal of sewing, and

the costume of the lady's maid. Stiff white cuffs and collar add a touch of prim neatness which is most desirabl

clothes. A tweed suit worn with a neat blouse, or a tweed coat worn over a simple dress, is the

NURS

should always be faultlessly attired, her hair neat and well

apron and white collar and cuffs. In warmer weather she wears linen or poplin with the

OF HO

unless special arrangements have been made to the contrary. She keeps the kitchen tidy

he principal part of the breakfast has been served, so that she may attend to her chamber-work and be ready to come down to her breakfast by the time th

s should inspect the chamber-work occasionally for servants must not be permitted to feel that carelessness in details will be overlooked. And the mistress should also take care of her own li

ONCL

well-mannered and well-trained-must be treated in the right manner if he or she is to remain such. There are so many blunder

ge that servant to do his or her best work. And on the other hand, a servile manner towards a good s

the mistress have their trials and troubles, but they should remember that it is only through mutual helpfulness and consideration, an exacting attention to duties and responsibilities, a wise supervision and a faithful

s, "By the servant the master is known." It is a good p