The Probability Of Us

the air carries something invisible, a weight that presses against y

of too many conversations happening all at once. But something in me had shift

ning a soccer ball between his palm

n't,"

nking or too

ith

moment, grinning. "S

le harder than necessary. "You really thin

you?

t this time, it doesn't feel like a problem. It fe

are probabilities of my own - like the chances of seeing her again, or the odds that she even remem

assignment is a group project. The teacher starts pairin

se, "our new student. You

window, that same calm expression in place. She glances a

es, but I don't hear the rest. My

me. She walks straight out into the hall

ke we're part

she replies wit

cit

"That depends. Are you actu

a model

st trace of amusement

"We could meet after scho

But I don't wait aro

be e

ubt

twitch, and it feels like

, I find myself smiling like an idiot. Ry

and impatient glances at the clock. When the fina

sed. Her notebook is open, pages filled with neat

tes late,

club," I reply. "Half the ha

quietly.

e an imp

't tryi

hat makes

ool and steady. "You rea

n I'm in

ut I catch the fainte

the occasional turning of a page. She's sharp - the kind of smart that doesn't need to

ing, the way she bites her bottom lip when she's trying to find

ing on

k in my chair. "A look tha

don't thi

" I say w

, hiding a small sm

light outside turns softer, gold slipping

productive

erything p

e yo

moment, then adds, "

n't mi

e, and for a few seconds, I just sit the

me down the hall - soft, cutting things about how the playboy f

classes. "You know Mason's b

lways

e it's ab

ing. "What

enge. That you bet you cou

teeth. "

t people li

ook runs o

he window, alone as always. A few students glance her way,

to tell her not to list

everyone to hear. "Careful who you study with, swee

tens. She do

ay across the cafeteri

" I say

mirking. "J

k somewhe

Guess the rumor

use you sta

otective? Or are you just mad she is

um. I feel the anger rise, sharp and sudden,

hen the teacher on duty shouts across the room, and

back to her. She's watchi

that," she says quietly

h, I

'll just

t t

ing to figure out if she should be grateful or a

she says

ack. "A

coming, but I don't care. Something in me

ting near the library entran

too busy defe

ways got ti

r. She sits down, pulling out her n

care?" she a

nk. "

ignored him. Y

ired of igno

ieve me but doesn't know if she shoul

kno

en

ifferent. Because you don't look at me like everyone else. Be

't say an

Maybe I just like p

er long moment, then say

be she'

charged, fragile. When our hands brush while reaching for t

a flicker, a spark, somethin

to look away. "W

ay quietly.

of the evening, all I can think about is the

at the pages we didn't finish reading. The silence f

stay in that quiet library until the lights flicker off, think

nding not to care, I realize too

e wors

k I li