Marrying Him Was Easy, Loving Him Was Hell

a

hat I told myself so I wouldn't have to

f relationship landmines. The spread on the long wooden table was aggressively wholesome-homemade granola, neatly sliced fruit,

ndwriting was neat, precise, like her thoughts were always lined

actice?" sh

ng her space, sipping what might've been green

. Welcome Dinner: Couples expected to demonstrate a

ings make me uncomfortable. "Well," I said

d so fast I nearly lost an

y voice. "Unless you want to g

, calculating. "You really t

e're surrounded by couples who probably have matching tattoos and joint sa

ractically hear the gears spinning. Finally, she exha

t to smile

gold, like the universe was mocking us by setting the mood. Ivy perched stiffly on the edge of the railing, postu

arms. "How do we

think. "Step one: stop looking l

me a look

and I caught it. That tiny fracture t

s. "No kissing yet. Let's rewind."

iously, she placed her hand in mine. Her fingers wer

knuckles, gentle. "See? Stil

, but her shoulders

ping closer, "is pretend

tched. She di

language, my intent. When our faces were inches apar

kay?" I as

dded.

reful. She leaned into it, just a fraction, enough to tell me yes

moment everyt

r body moved closer, aligning with mine like it had been waiting for permission.

Tired of rules. Tired of holding herself together. A so

mouth opened against mine, warm and curious. A

fa

temp

i

eathing hard. Her lips were swollen,

ally, voice unsteady

, still tasting her. "

d suddenly returned. Cleared her

for r

n closed it again. "We sh

I echoed.

th trembling hands. I stood there longer than neces

e in t

thing heartbreakingly earnest. Couples shared meet-cute stories that made my teeth ache. I tuned most

I was hired to film her field research in Arizona. I wrote her name

ble sw

," I added, g

eezing my hand. "But only beca

pas

k through the cool moun

liar," she sa

out eve

at me like she could see s

" she sa

porch steps, leaving me alone with

ing feels

l happens wh

red. Every touch, every glance, every laugh we'd shared had me wondering if we were fooling e

thing to do with me and everything to do with the world. My chest tightened. She was more than a project, more than a partne