Steps of Desire

lse was living in one version of reality. Ryan and I were stuck in another, tryi

lying on my bed and replaying the car moment on a loop until my brain felt like it was overh

ighting the urge to burrow into the mattress and disappear. Then a knock hit my

mposed person who wasn't losing her mind. Ryan stood there leaning on the doorframe, arms crossed, blue eyes doing that quiet unreadable

ay?" he

uttered.

. "Not ev

d've. He glanced down the hallway, then

d sat on the edge of my bed, legs dangling. He stayed standing, a

aid my name; low and tense like he was trying it on his t

you keep looking at me like you want s

think you're the only one t

en us. I swallowed. "Then mayb

ng and it felt too real. "That wasn't plan

hispered. "

oon glow that made everything feel softer and way too intimate. He moved first and sat on the opposite ed

d. "I keep telling myself it's just

" I a

's not

ightened.

d sharply. "Don't pull away

sn't demanding or controlling, it was honest. It made m

like this was physically painful. "

prob

ou

and you push every button I have, but you're also..." He swallowed, eyes dropping briefly

itself. "Ryan," I said

kno

ou kee

kno

omeone fi

rsh and quiet.

ike a blanket we couldn't es

s well but it was a slow slide of inches,

" I whispered, warning, and w

rely above a murmur. "But I'm also not going to lie and

burn right through me. He tucked a strand of my hair behind and leaned closer enough for me to feel his hot breath. I closed my eyes as I felt he wa

nt but wasn't breaking the rules either. He pulled back a f

d up fast like staying near me for

go," he

d, staring at the

d. Without turning around, he said

my attention

guarded. "He likes attention, he doesn't care w

"You soun

e just said quietly,

slipped out the door and c

e trembling and my mind was also

g it and I was fighting it as well. The g

porary tension but this was something real, m

t part? I wasn't sur