all of my roommates love

" You have to stay away from these fraternity boys. I don't want them ruining your reputation, scholarship, and making you lose focus. You know your father and I want the best for you, right?" Mom goes about rambling as she nears my new apartment.

I look out the window, marveling at the streets. It doesn't look bad, at least it's comfortable for a college student. I was supposed to stay at the dorms, but my parents thought it was a bad idea. They wanted me off campus since I'm a freshman and they badly don't want me to steer off my path. Like I would even do that.

I have promised myself to do better. Maybe date a girl and it might help with this weird attraction I have towards my gender. And then focus on school and get a job to support my family and stay far away from these athlete jerks who are literally in every college.

Pushing up my glasses, I get out of my mom's car and shut the door. I help her bring down my bags as we walk toward my new apartment. Driving me here and helping me settle in wasn't really necessary, but my mom insisted. She also wanted to meet my new roommate. To make sure he's not a bad influence or they won't waste time moving me out and finding a new apartment.

" Mrs. Brooke." A man greets us as we enter the apartment. He gives my mom his hand for a shake and she shakes him.

I busy myself and look around the foyer. It's pretty decent and neat. I guess the guy occupying this apartment is neat and decent.

" And you must be Ashton." The man turns to look at me with a big smile on his face. He must be the landlord.

" Yes. Nice to meet you sir." I shake his hand.

" It's a pleasure. Come on." He starts to walk and we follow him. The living room is neat too. With a music set and an Xbox. The couches are neat and look new. Everything in here is neat and well arranged. Now I can't wait to meet my roommate.

" Okay. Jakob isn't around. He should be in school or on the field for his soccer practice." The man says.

" He's an athlete?"

" Well, yeah." The man nods. I still don't know his name, but my mom does. She's been talking to him about the apartment. " Don't worry about Jakob. He's a good kid. I assure you that."

" I hope he doesn't like parties or likes to partake in promiscuous activities. 'Cause I was hoping to see him." Mom tells the man.

" I assure you Mrs. Brooke, Jakob is a good kid. He won't be any trouble."

" Alright. Ash honey, why don't you go upstairs with your bags and I'll come help once I'm done talking with Mr. Romanoff."

I nod, grab my bags from the floor and walk towards the hallway.

" Your room is the one on the left. First door." Mr. Romanoff calls out.

I open the first door and walk inside. It's a little tidy but still needs serious cleaning. I sigh and sit down on the bed. I run my fingers through my blonde hair and breathe into my palms.

Why the hell am I nervous?

Well this is the first time I'm moving away from home and living on my own. Technically I won't be staying alone but it still counts. I had a bad trauma in highschool and it's never been the same with my family. Especially when both my parents are homophobes. They spent almost all their lives judging the gay kids and guys in my town. And it sucks I ended up as one.

I had this crush on Bryson. He's not a jock or a jerk. He's just perfect. Well or so I thought. I would secretly check him out from afar and watch him. I truly liked him, to the extent the very little thing he did made me wish I was man enough to tell him how I felt. It was just a stupid crush I thought. And I knew nothing about being gay. To me it was just a little crush and it was okay to find someone attractive, either a girl or guy.

Well nope, I was wrong. And then I noticed I've never looked at girls the way I looked at Bryson. Not even made any attempt of wanting a relationship with a girl. It just doesn't feel right. I googled how to know you're gay and all the signs were just me. I was scared and afraid and I tried to fight off the crush. My parents would kill me if they found out I fantasized about guys. They are homophobes. They believed gay people are the reason we still have hurricane. Which doesn't make any sense.

Everything went back to a little normal. I spent little time staring at Bryson in order not to raise suspicion. I don't want to be that weird kid who is a 'fag'. The bullying will be hectic and I don't trust myself to make it through. I might end up doing something I'll regret. It was around 12th grade and in a few months I'll be leaving highschool. I was dared to write Bryson a love letter in a stupid truth or dare game I played with my classmates. I never had real friends so I hung out with the available squad.

Bryson wasn't the most popular guy in school but he was one of the most popular guys in school. And fortunately he was single. To prove a point to the squad that I was not a coward, which I definitely was, I wrote Bryson the letter. Confessing how I've had a crush on him since 11th grade and it hurts he doesn't see me the way I see him. I regretted ever pouring my heart out to that letter, 'cause at the end it was shitty.

Bryson cornered me the following day at school with his friends and beat the shit out of me. Called me a 'fucking fag' and even started telling everyone I tried to seduce him to have sex with me. I skipped school for four days and my parents were more furious. I couldn't lie to them so I admitted writing Bryson a love letter.

Luckily I graduated high school with Bryson and his friends hitting on me when they felt like it. It was crazy. And now I'm in college and my family and myself thought I have to start all over. Retrace my steps. Stay away from jerks. Stay away from guys and maybe try to date a girl and I can rebrand myself again. I don't know how correct this theory is but it's worth trying.

" Ashton." Mom calls as she walks into my new room.

" I just paid the rent." Mom sighs. She looks around my room and smiles. Pleased.

" You haven't started arranging your room? What are you thinking Ashton?"

Sighs. " Nothing. I'm fine. I'll just get on with unpacking." I stand up.

" Is this about that Bryson kid?"

" Jesus, mom, that was a long time. That was in high school and I regretted my actions."

" It's nice to hear you regret your actions. Because I won't watch you waste your life. Your father and I want the best for you and you should know that. No matter what you do, don't repeat that same mistake again."

I nod. " Noted."

Mom and I unpack my things as I clean my room. I've got class by noon and I need to attend since it's my first class. Once I was through settling in, my mom hugged me and left.

I quickly take a bath since I'm nearly late. I drag plain dark jeans up my legs, the university's hoodie and converse. My parents aren't really rich so I'm here on a scholarship. I grab my backpack and rushes out of my apartment, not forgetting to lock the door. Looking at the school guide on my phone, I navigate around college as I search for the political science building. This school is bigger than I expected.

Not really looking at where I was going, I accidentally bumped into someone. Their books happen to fall on the ground as I quickly bend down to pick them up.

" I'm really sorry." I say to this person.

" Shit, no I'm so sorry. I was careless and I wasn't looking at where I was going." This stranger says. It's a girl. A petite redhead, pale skin and very beautiful eyes. She has a pointed nose and she's beautiful. But for some reason, she doesn't attract me. Sexually I mean.

" No, I'm sorry. I was late and lost, so I wasn't looking." I tell her.

" I'm Lana." She shakes my hand.