The Ex Factor

The doctor was finally approaching.

The quick brief glance I took at my wristwatch made me realize I'd been waiting for about an hour.

My head was a mess, racing faster than a cheetah chasing its prey.

Oh God, calm down, I told myself.

"Please let it be negative, please, please let it be negative" Literally frea-ing out, I mummured under my breaths, my words barely audible.

"Ms. Wills, I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long," Dr. Dawson said, his smile making me uncomfortable. Why the smile??

I breathed out a shaky breath, hoping to calm myself.

Deep breathes Sam. You got this.

"Not at all, Doc," I said, attempting a smile. "It wasn't that long..."

"Well, congratulations, Mrs. Wills." His smile grew as he gave me a tiny envelope.

My breath hung in my throat. No, God, no. I quickly conposed myself, swallowing hard.

"What do you mean, Dr. Dawson?" I asked, my heart pumping hard.

"You're six weeks pregnant, Mrs. Wills," he stated.

It seemed like time stopped, and the world began spinning.

Fuck!

My eyes darted about, reflecting my anxiousness. I gathered my resolve and pulled myself together.

Breathe, I reminded myself, willing myself to stay composed. Not here. Not now.

Forcing a big, fake smile, I hoped the doctor wouldn't notice the strain behind it.

"Thank you, Dr. Dawson," I said,"This is certainly unexpected."

"Congratulations, Mrs. Wills! It's good news," he replied, clearly unaware of the storm that's raging in my mind.

My heart hammered in my chest, as I muttered my thanks and gathered the papers he handed me.

A slow exhale tried to steady my trembling fingers as I signed the forms, all the while thoughts racing through my mind like a runaway train.

The doctor continued to talk about antenatal registration and other details. He seemed ready for a longer conversation, but I wasn't. I hurriedly wrapped things up and rushed out of the reception area and made hastily for the hospital exit.

The moment I got into my car, I broke down. Fuck! How did I let this happen? My heart raced and my hands trembled. I tried to calm down, but nothing worked.

I tried taking deep breaths, but it didn't make the fear go away.

I needed to get home, fast.

My hands moved over the engine, ready to turn on the car and speed away. But I froze, confused.. or scared?

Scared of how Tyler would react? The heartache it would cost me? The pain?

I quickly wiped up the tear that was threatening to fall off my eyes taking a deep breath.

Slowly I opened the envelope that contained the result and it stared back at me. It was right there, Positive. I was pregnant.

As my gaze drifted to the busy New York street, my mind wandered to what could've been. This news should've been a cause for celebration, for excitement.

A culmination of our love.