The Book of Deceive

I have locked myself up in the room since I first started attending my university studies, the only thing I do is attending my classes and markets. I have neither a friend nor relationship, my siblings dumped me feeling useless for I have always been a friend of these others. I can’t talk of my friends, it’s rare rare they come to visit me for being inhumane.

It costed me nothing to hang around with a girl but I felt comfortable being alone I was neither happy nor sad because I felt comfortable with it but I felt sad the way my colleagues reached out of me. In all these it does not mean I didn’t have someone whom I had feelings for.

“Swazi” even though I felt pity of the name but deep down I wasn’t surprised with the name because it was the way I was “Swazi” is the description of someone who is afraid of girls taken from Hollywood actor anord Swazinegger.

I have always been hoping for the future of which I lately realised that I was living in the future. I was hoping for it but I didn’t take it too serious when my brother said ‘'kukula konseko basi mulibe chibwenzi". That was the time a young couple was passing it hurted because even the brother who said this was young to me.

I have been living in a small town named Ekwendeni in the northern region of Malawi, the country in which it seems like there is political instability whereby leaders seem to have rule for self benefits something that makes me to not easily associate too because most of the times people debate much of politics of which I feel like it’s none of my business though it surely affected us all. It’s a country where democracy hurts even more and corruption was the leader’s daily bread. It’s not more than 2 years since people voted for a multi-party election hoping all things will change and I wasn’t among the voters.

“Am thinking of writing the book of my lifetime of which time couldn’t allow me”. We are now in fifty fifth anniversary cerebrating independence day of which we have over 25 years of multi party democracy, life seems to be ruined like the way were the time when we were colonised or either one party rule. By then we're were closer to graduation.

"Chikumbutso! Chikumbutso! Why are you late today? " I haven’t even taken a bath by then but I was expected to be in class by 2 O’clock pm and it was 1:30 pm. Jordan came to pick me up for the class “Oh hey bro am sorry am not even prepared I’ve been busy the whole day I didn’t even remember that we are having a class this afternoon”I replied.

Speaking from the truth I have all the way touched nothing except cooking the breakfast of which spent my whole time reading a certain story from facebook of which its story I could relate to the one of which happened to me and my ex. I couldn’t do anyhow but to tell him to wait a little for me even though he had no time to wait any more. I went inside my room only to wash my face, hands and legs. I couldn’t imagine myself, it took only 5 minutes to show up to him again.

‘Eeh, man, what were you doing all that time’, he asked me with an angry face. I could tell that he was surely exhausted.

"What’s the time? "I asked him of which I wasn’t stable by then thinking of what is going to happen at school because the class we were going to attend was sociology and the lecture who was teaching us the course is Mr Ndeule who embarrasses the late comers which made most of the girls drop his course.

We were about to arrive in class, checking time it was 5 minutes late. Lately I remembered that I didn’t close my room in the boys quarter I was staying of which the previous week one of our colleagues lost his laptop, the area has a lot of marijuana smoking boys and beer drinking guys the area is full of moral decay among youth and also dogs used to enter in and eat foods "eeh nigga you eat well my grandma used to tell me if dogs frequently visits your home then things are better at that house " I didn't respond to what he was saying, I was caught up with terror by then we had been 8 hours of no electricity I had no phone any more to call my neighbour.

Even though I wasn’t stable in my mind I could only accept my friends questions when he was speaking but telling you I couldn’t hear any word even though we noticed that I was no longer concentrate but he kept on speaking to me. “Do you know that this government is even more worse than the ones we have had, this is more worse, they were just full of promises of which they are also failing to fulfil. You know what leading a poor nation like this one is not that easy? ”he asked to my no concentration .

But all in all my responses were just nodding the head or producing a word like mmmmmmh! We later moved over a long distance without saying anything" I knew that something is wrong with you"he said, actually, I was thinking of my ex who had dumped me few days ago with the reasons I don’t even know, I even thought may be soul mate had moved out from the town because it been so long why I couldn’t meet her . I said to myself in my mind.