Show me what Love is

Life is filled with numerous occurrences that define us and make us who we are. I guess our only duty is to know which is helpful and which isn't. Some part of the helpful part can be dangerous at times but we need to take a chance on ourselves to find out.

Countless times within the nineteen years of my existence I've neglected the happy moments, regretted my decisions, and wondered what I should have done differently.

There are many what-ifs in life, like:

What if I didn't say that?

What if I had done something differently?

I'm not saying that we can use this to justify our actions yet, our actions are the very thing that led us to certain moments in our lives. We watch the sunset at the horizon, spreading its largess into a grateful sky. Rich hues of red blended with oranges, purples, and crimsons.

Afina, That's my name; Afina Jones. A girl who despite being abandoned as a child, is filled with ambition. I will never abandon anyone.

"So," Lisa says, breaking the silence. "Tomorrow we graduate. We're no longer kids."

Bradley rolls his eyes. "Lisa, you've been saying that for the past hour,"

"Yeah, could we talk about something else?" I ask, giggling.

Lisa huffs, pouting. "This is a big deal! We can't be reckless teenagers anymore, especially you, Bradley."

I smile, agreeing.

"Don't worry, little sis," Bradley responds with an impish grin. "I got it all figured out."

I raise my eyebrows. "Little sis? You do realize she's your twin sister, right?"

"I've been around longer" He huffs.

Lisa punches him playfully in the arm. "Only by two hours, dickhead!"

They fall to the ground, playfighting as I laugh wholeheartedly.

Bradley smirks at me. "Get in babe, you know you want to,"

I shoot him the finger. "In your dreams, asshole,"

"Let me be your asshole," He winks.

I roll my eyes, smiling. "Shut up, Haastrup."

We all lay on the grass. Bradley holds out both of his arms so we can snuggle up together. I look at the sky, waiting for the stars to come out. And for a moment, there is just silence. The silence caressed my skin like a cool summer breeze. It was as comforting as a nurturing mother.

But then I became unsure.

"Whatever happens, I wish that the three of us stay together," I whisper to Bradley.

He looks at me, in assurance. "We're right by your side, just like you're by our side,"

I nod. "Of course,"

"Whatever happens, whatever life throws our way," He says. "You'll be fine, even if we aren't here."

"How do you know?" I query.

"Because that's who you are. You move on and get on with life," Bradley replies. "You worry too much."

I smile, scoffing. "Yeah, you're right. Thanks."

"No problem kiddo. Get some rest."

When the stars come out to play and the evening takes on that aroma of the night, when the crickets sing for the joy of living, life awaits. I love the softness, the quiet, the sense of rest. My thoughts slow as a beautiful carousel, each dancing as ribbons from a kite string that reaches for the sky, its colours embracing those lofty heights and inviting in the dreams that wear festival costumes and are formed of music.

In our sleep, we are children again. We dream of things past, things that will never be again. In our dreams, we have comfort, freedom, and love. Sometimes we can be visited by those we lost and for those perfect hours of sleep, we are whole again. Then on waking, we scramble to write it down, just in case there is wisdom in the randomness.

It's not that we think they're really talking to us, mostly, but our subconscious minds can send these people we esteem with solutions. Of course, sometimes it's all garbage or too obscure to figure out. Sometimes they are nightmares, but those are getting fewer and far between now that life has settled back into a rhythm.

I truly look forward to turning in at night, which is funny because, I remember wanting to stay up late, not wanting to sleep at 9 pm, but rather at 1 am. Yet, now sleep is precious, and desired.