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Before you and me

Mack

People say life is glorious. You have all these moments to consider, but they’re full of shit. Life isn’t superb. It’s rough. Too many people lie to themselves, which is hysterical if you consider it.

They had all these aspirations and dreams. Then someone else destroys them. Do you get where I’m leading with this?

I try to steer clear. Who in the hell wants someone who sets out to destroy you? Of course, I’ve never been that schmuck who’s been in love. There’s too much drama.

I had that one acquaintance who assumes they know better than I do. That would be Bob Harrison, who pushes me to find someone like he’s doing today.

“Come on, Mack. Don’t you realize it’s time to settle down?”

“Aren’t you too old to whine? What? Are you? Four? What does it matter if I meet someone?” I lifted a container of dirty dishes onto the counter.

Yes, I work as a busboy trying to pay for school. Don’t judge. Most people must do the inferior man’s jobs. It was honest employment. So, why the hell do I care what people think?

“I’m saying it would help tame your wild ways.”

“What wild ways? I work and go to school. Woohoo,” I responded.

He twisted his eyes at me.

“Shouldn’t you cook something?” That meant returning to work and stopping harassing me about my personal choices.

“Bob, I need a number one and three.” Miguel placed an order on the ledge.

“Good luck. Bob worries too much about my nonexistent love life,” I quipped.

Bob folded his eyes, and Miguel chuckled.

“Mark my words. One day, you will find the one!” Bob flipped a burger.

I walked over to Miguel.

“He sure has big aspirations for you,” Miguel told me.

“I assume he’s high.”

Miguel snickered.

“Is there a reason you ladies are standing around talking?” Ian asked us.

“We were discussing your poor lifestyle choices such as that hairstyle.” I pointed at the mess on top of his head.

“There is nothing wrong with my hairstyle. Gertie finds it sexy.” Ian ran his hand against the side of his haircut.

“Is that before or after you use a gallon of oil on it?”

Ian rolled his eyes at me, causing Miguel to howl even more. “Laugh all you want, but at least I’m getting lucky.”