Not Yours To Hold

As I looked at you, I felt the slowing down of time... ― Florence Joyce

xxxxxx

[Rinako]

It was only six-thirty in the morning. But as for me, I finally arrived at Uminaribara University. To be precise, I was standing in front of the building of the Engineering and Architecture Department. That school was located just a few miles near the town and I would be studying here starting this semester. But then I couldn't understand why I couldn't even take a step towards the building.

I couldn't believe I had to feel this. This wasn't the time for me to have butterflies in my stomach. There was also no reason for both of my hands to feel this cold that was holding the straps of my backpack hanging on my back.

"Nervous?"

I turned around to the source of that voice. Even though I had to admit that I was indeed nervous, I still managed to smile when I saw my cousin Mayu. It so happened that we took the same course, which was Architecture. The truth was, this wasn't the college course that I wanted to take. At least, that was what I felt. But until now, I still don't know what course I want to take up. I just decided to give in to what my father wanted for me. It was just for now until I couldn't figure out exactly what I wanted.

"Why don't you enter? It's not like the people would eat you or anything for you to be this nervous," Mayu said when she finally approached me.

"You know that I'm a newcomer here, right? Of course, I'd feel nervous."

But my cousin just stared at me incredulously as if she couldn't believe what I just said. I frowned at that sight. Why would Mayu look at me like this?

"What are you talking about? In case you've forgotten, you were born and raised here until nine years ago. You just disappeared for nine years, and now you're calling yourself a newcomer? Are you crazy?"

"It's still the same." This girl. Why can't she just agree for now? I was just being slightly dramatic. "Let's go before we end up late for our first class." Maybe it was for the best if I drag my cousin out of here before she even decide to prolong the discussion.

Thankfully, Mayu obliged. But seriously speaking? I noticed that people around me kept on looking at me. Was there something on my face? Did I just grow two heads for them to look at me?

"You've changed a lot, you know?" Mayu suddenly said which confused me.

"Maybe, something changed. To think I disappeared from this town for nine years. You can even include Yushiro cheating on me before. So yeah, I did change."

"You're right. You've become even more hot-headed than usual. It's like you're bitter with the world."

I would end up hitting my cousin because of this, you know? Unbelievable! Bitter? Me, bitter? Okay, I would admit that my patience would slightly decrease when it comes to a certain person. But hello! Was that supposed to be a basis for Mayu to call me bitter?

I just shook my head and increased my pace as we enter the building. "I don't know what to do with you, Mayu. Did you have breakfast and you're spouting random things?"

"Come on. I was just joking." Mayu was chuckling when she said that and followed me.

Take a deep breath, Rinako. It would be better for you to calm down, okay?

Okay, what was this? I was acting weird today. To think I was talking to myself.