My Greatest Regret

I exit my car and head cautiously in the direction of the home. My body was perspiring, and my hands were shaking.

I was still in disbelief that everything was over. that I had lastly obtained a divorce from him. Right now, the evidence supporting that was in my purse. I was here to pick up Lucas and deliver the last set of paperwork to him.

I follow the sounds of quiet voices into the house, but I come to a stop as I get close to the kitchen.

I could hear them plainly right now, and what I heard chilled my spirit to the bone.

"Why you can't live with me and your mother is still beyond me." Lucas asks his dad.

My hands tremble and reach my chest. His voice broke my heart with its anguish. Though I would stop at nothing to win his divorce, it was unavoidable.

It had been a mistake to get married. There was something wrong with us all. It simply took me some time to realize the reality.

"You understand why your mom and I are no longer together, Lucas." He answers in a quiet voice.

It truly is strange. that in all the time we've been married, he has never used gentle language with me. It was consistently chilly. Constantly impersonal and emotionless

"However, why?"

He mumbles, "These things just happen."

I can picture him frowning. He's trying to explain things to Lucas so he won't ask any more questions. However, Lucas is my kid. His innate curiosity and inquisitiveness go deep.

"Do you not adore her?"

The query is so simple and sincere that it makes me gasp. I move back, resting against the wall. My heart is pounding as I wait for his response.

I was aware of his response. I've been aware of it all along. That dreadful answer is certainly well known to all but Lucas.

He really isn't in love with me. Never will have and never will have. It was evident as day. I was still curious to hear his response, though. Would he be lying to our son, or telling the truth?

His throat is cleared, clearly stalling. "Lucas."

"Dad, do you still love your mother?" Lucas asks once more, ending his question.

I hear the dejected sigh. At last, he responds, "I love her for giving me you."

It was not a response, but a placation.

I shut my eyes to block out the Miller pain shooting through me. following a lengthy period. It hurts even now. My heart is shattering all over again. I'm not sure why, but there was a tiny part of me that thought his response would be different.

Those three words were never stated by him to me. Not when I gave birth to Lucas, not when we were married, not in the years that followed, not when we shared a bed together.

All the way during our marriage, he held himself back. I gave it everything I had, and all he gave me back was suffering and heartbreak.

There were three of us in our marriage, not just the two of us. The love of his life, me, and him. The woman he has spent nine long years unable to let go of.

My eyes water, yet I rub them anyhow. I had had enough of crying. I was fed up with pursuing a man who wasn't interested in me.

"Have you ever been told that listening in on other people's conversations is impolite?"

His powerful voice pierces the stillness. disturbing my train of thinking in the process. I take a square stance and head into the kitchen.

He is standing close to the kitchen counter there. Dylan Woods, my husband of the past.

I can't move from the spot, his mocking grey eyes.

My gaze veers to my son. My delight and pride. all that is positive in my life. His father is undoubtedly the source of his beautiful looks. He has my dark hair and my Miller grey eyes.

"Hello," I say with a tiny smile.

"Hello, mom," Lucas says, setting down his partially consumed lunch and leaping from the counter. He runs over to give me a tight hug. "You've been missed,"

I kiss his forehead and say, "Missed you too, my love," before he turns away and resumes eating.