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"If you aren't so fat!!! maybe the ring would have been your size!"
I tried to conceal my tears
Embarrassed as everyone in the shop eyes were on me
"We have larger ones for you to try sir"the jewelry owner said to him politely
My fiance maybe hot tempered but am sure he does loves me
as much as I love him but...
"Baby can we try another one please"
I managed to say that with a smile on my face
It was my engagement ring,he didn't know my size so he asked the big question I said yes before we went out to get the ring
"Am done"he snapped and walked out angrily
My feet turned cold,my blood drained and my skin turned pale
"Dont worry,he will change his mind"the jewelry woman consoled me
I nodded and walked out slowly from the jewelry shop
My heart pounding and my palms sweaty
"He isn't fed up about the ring not fitting, he is fed up with me,just like tim,like nathan,and now andres,they dumped me with any slightest chance"
I felt a drop from my left eye,I dried it off immediately
It started raining heavily ,I was almost pushed down by the crowd running towards a shelter and running from the rain,I didn't mind getting wet from the rain,its the least of my problems now
I had the flashback of tim
He was my first love,he loved me...maybe I thought so
after our first night
He made known his intentions to me,I thought I was gonna die back then
"Its my first time"
I told me as we both laid down exhausted, sweats dripping down our necks
"I can see that"he sneered
I expected more than that reply,but I shouldn't make a deal out of it,I smiled back at him trying to hide my disappointment
"Am glad its you"
"Am done"
"Huh...
I chuckled rather confused, I thought I heard him wrong, or maybe he was pulling my leg
"I only dated you because i wanted to know how it feels like being with a plus size'"
"Tim what are you saying.."I asked confused
"Do you think I will ever walk hand in hand with someone ,three times my size "
"Tim what the f**k are you saying to me?"
I sobbed loudly
"Look shit happens sometimes, I had to go,please clean up the stains before leaving "
He got up and started dressing up
"Tim....
My heart pounding,as my tears flow endlessly
He left and slammed the door after him
I lost words, I cant think or say anything that moment, I didn't even cry out loud,I dont even know if I can breathe anymore, I loved tim so much that it hurts alot ..... well you know ,a first love
I was only 16 when I got dumped by tim,my parents said am going to heal and find someone better
I tried to forget tim,but it was not so easy
2 yes later ,I met nathan, he made me believe ,I was beautiful, thick and sexy, he flaunt me in front kf his friends, i was happy,very happy, finally found love ,someone to love me the way I am
I was visibly glowing and happy ,but I was only just a mere object of satisfaction
That day I walked into his,a surprise visit only to find him in bed with some girl
He didnt even apologize or ran after me, after some few days of not calling eachother ,I decided to go patch things up with him
Getting to the door
I overheard heard horrible things ,nathan spill out to his friends about me,I was called fat and senseless by the same man who called me beautiful and bold
He brag on how,I cant do without him because I lack love and dying for some love and affection
"She's sick of being alone men,bitch got me and can't afford losing me"
His friends chuckled
"But how good she skips "
"Jaut a heavy bag of pudding, nothing interesting though she got skills I must confess,she can take you to that level, you know what I mean"
"So you are ditching her for kira"another asked
"Well you can't blame me,Kira is a whole upgrade than the fat cum bag"
They laughed loudly
I freezed staring at my reflection on the glass door,my tears were flowing ceaselessly and hand glued to the door handle
I won't blame him, if I got to choose a girlfriend by myself,as a guy ....I won't choose me
I slowly let go of the door handle and head home,there's no need wasting my life qoth a man who sees me as just an object of satisfaction and mockery
And ,now there's andre,whom I opened my heart to and shared my past with
He unapologetically dumped me same day he proposed ,wow what a lady you are beauty,am so sad for you
I kick off the stuffed toys on my bed and buried my face on a pillow ,crying my soul out
I fling the pillow and sat up , ried loudly again
"I hate my existence, I hate everything about me"i screamed out bitterly
"If...only ..I was as beautiful as anyone else
That night my mom came into my room
"Honey you are going to starve to death, you are still young to worry about him,you will still have a lot of suitors in the future "
"Why am I fat and ugly!!,I have been bullied from my primary school till date,mom,you are ageless,tall and beautiful, why am I not like you?"
My mom was an ex beauty queen,people said am the fat version of her
"Well having your father's body isn't a curse,you are beautiful the way you are,look at those flesh most of them bullies envy them,you dont even have belly fat,you're thick..and chubby but definitely not fat"
She's trying to cheer me up I know, no one will ever envy a fat lady
I jsut went mute ,my lios shivering holding back from crying in her presence
"You know am gonna tell you a secret "
I gaze at her with interest
"What secret?"
I asked curiously ,wiping my face with my palm
"Promise you won't tell you wont tell your dad"
I hesitated
"Okay, yes,I promise"i nodded impatiently
"Well i.....
She pressed her lips together like she was about to say something really heavy
"I..kissed my cousin"
"Well...
"Fresh kiss,we made out!!"
My jaw dropped
"You did what?"
"Had sex,sont act so innocent to me"
I never imagined mom to be that type
covered my ear
"I dont want to hear about it"
"Well,almost had sex,we got all smoochy smoochy... "
"What the...,he is your couz mom!!!,that's rough,and so grossing me out now"
She chuckled
"I was a wild teenager got drunk at my sixteen birthday, you know my couz Edward?"
"The one with a weird mustache "
She nodded with a satisfactory smile
"Yep,that was him"
"How could you!!"
I snapped loudly with a triggered anger
"Calm down,we didn't actually get into it completely, I was drunk and asked him to kiss me,we both tight and you know ,we kissed and ended up in the bedroom"
"Ewww!!"
"Well he was a bad kisser and his baby mustache was there,remembering it now,it disgusts me"
I slapped my forehead
"Mom you are really ...
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