MISERABLE AT BEST

***And I'll be your memories, your lullaby for all the times hoping my voice could get it right***

IT'S funny how we know what makes us miserable, yet we continue to live with it.

Perhaps, we find our challenges quite amusing or we just don't know how to win them over. Otherwise, why would we love the things that kill us? Pretty much, live for the things that's choking us to death?

I kept thinking why I put myself in such a situation that doesn't give me a choice. Well, sometimes it does when I am torn between getting up or getting fired.

For the record, I always get up. My conscience always told me that I've fought for this career, so I don't have a choice but to do what I have sworn to do.

And, this is clearly one of these days when an angel and a devil are fighting inside my head. It's killing me, considering the fact that it wasn't an hour ago since I closed my eyes to get some sleep, but had to get up because another unlucky person was in an accident.

Could people just be more careful not to get in any kind of accident and have some time to actually make themselves healthy, so I don't have to use my hands to save them?

Well, what's a doctor without a patient, right? I figured out that's how life works. Someone needs to be below, so others can go above. Sounds unfair, but what's fair in the game of life?

"Zamora, take your goddamn phone!" Lauyton, a resident like me, demanded as the phone continued to ring.

"It's not mine to take," I lazily replied.

The fur blanket, my best friend Gabriella gave me, kept me from the cold breeze of October. I don't even know why she gave me a blanket when I certainly don't need it. Well, I guess she was reminding me to get some sleep which clearly I won't be getting any time soon.

"Wake me up when September ends," Lauyton groaned as he stopped his phone from ringing. He rolled over his bed, making the top of our deck bed move a little.

"It's already October 1st," I muttered.

It wasn't only a minute when the alarm called code blue. I could only curse as I fought against my will. Why does it have to be at dawn? Doctors need sleep too.

"Now, that isn't my phone to answer," Lauyton surely said as he listened to the ringtone I set for one specific person, Dr. Sead - our fellow. I set a unique ringtone for him, so I know when not to answer my phone.

"What could possibly be wrong now?" I hissed in frustration. I counted one to five before pulling myself out of the bed.

"A vehicular accident," Loud guessed. He jumped from the top of our bed, pulled his scrubs on the clothes rack and changed his shirt.

I yawned and slapped myself twice before getting my butt out of my bed.

We dashed to the emergency room. Lauyton was right. It was a vehicular accident.

"Damn!" he reacted. "That's a lot to save!"

My eyes roamed around the scene as nurses and medics rushed more than ten people injured. Chaos were all over the place. Hospital staff were running side by side attending to patients whimpering in pain.

"What the hell happened here?" I whispered.

"Call Ortho!" The head nurse shouted while holding the leg of the guy who just came in. "I have his leg!"

Oh no.

"I need a hand in here!"

"More blood please!"

"Do we have any available beds?"

"Somebody call me Neuro!"

"Zamora! Layton! Are you just gonna stand in there?" Dr. Sead, the fellow I was talking about earlier, who has anger issues shouted at us.

"There you go!" Lauyton circled the penlight between his fingers before running to the patient.

I pulled my nude scrunchies, tied my hair, and ran to the nearest patient who started vomiting blood as soon as I reached him.

"What a beautiful thing to start the day," I shook my head, but eventually smiled.

I've been in the medical field for years, yet I'm still not used to this kind of moment. But, this is the path I've chosen. I decided to use my beautiful hands to save lives.

AFTER hours of battling inside the operating room, saving lives, I felt the starvation. I wanted to eat, but my body couldn't move. I sat on the floor along with the other residents who're also exhausted from a row of surgeries.

The acidity was rising up my esophagus, which made it hard to breathe. My hands were numb and my mouth was so dehydrated that I could also feel it in my skin.

It took me minutes before I could recharge. I went straight to the residents' quarter and washed my face that I wasn't able to do a while ago.

The fridge was empty. A sudden frustration rushed in my mind, I told the interns to pick the groceries for us and no one bothered to follow my orders.

There was no other choice but to order food, so I picked my phone and ordered a bucket of chicken.