Lustful Surrender Sequel to Take me I am yours

With a feeling of ecstasy, I opened my eyes yearning to cuddle Sean whom I thought was beside me, only to find his side of the bed empty.

Then it dawned on me what had happened yesterday with my heart beating twice as fast, what the fuck did I do?! I'm a mess, I'm a fucking mess! With my heavy head and broken heart, tears broke out the side of my eyes.

How do I salvage this situation, what is the solution to this heavy burden I'm carrying? I had to decide between Sean's offer of taking a stand or just letting life play things out, honestly i'm confused. He wants us to have both freedom and also wants to be sure it's just him alone but it doesn't feel right.

It's like saying our marriage doesn't matter, but it does. I despise this situation, hate what they've done to me by giving me love, resulting in three broken hearts and a messed-up situation. I wonder how this can ever be fixed. Walking away from one feels like killing the other, and it's a painful choice I have to make, even though I don't want to.

Tears start falling, and crying seems to be all I do. Whenever I find happiness, something comes along to destroy it. I resent them both for causing this, yet I can't help but love them. The whole situation is messed up, and right now, I can't see a way out.

The door opens, but I don't want to look up. I can't bear to see Sean's pain, his hurt, his anger. He's my Master, my husband, but at this moment, I'm unsure if any of that still holds true.

How did I get here? Sean and I were doing well, despite our fair share of issues. I love being his submissive. Then, he introduced Steve, a friend, into our lives. Steve is truly amazing, but the problem is he fell in love with me, and unknowingly, I fell for him too. Yesterday marked the breaking point, where everything came together and fell apart at the same time.

I pushed Steve away when he kissed me, not wanting to hurt Sean. But when Sean told me that Steve was leaving and moving out, I felt heartbroken. Sean left us to say goodbye, and the thought of never seeing Steve again hurt so much. We couldn't stop ourselves, sleeping together for the first time without Sean's permission, and I officially cheated.

I thought Sean would hate me, but he doesn't. He blames himself for bringing Steve into the situation. What am I going to do about this whole thing? I have the option of having them both, staying married to Sean, still being his submissive, with Steve involved as much as I want him to be. But that doesn't feel right to me. I don't want Steve to leave either.

Sean is still standing at the door, waiting for me to respond. Reluctantly raising my head, I look at him. My heart shatters seeing his pain and hurt. I feel like I've done something evil. How can I do this to him?

"Come on babes, let's talk"

Looking at him I can't, I physically can't there is too much there, I feel like I am drowning in thoughts, memories, and everything else, their pain, my heartbreak, everything.

I can't ask him to take me to the playroom, we have the girls, so I can't drink, how do people deal with this daily?