I DONT LOVE HIM

“ It all started with me and I guess it ends with me, or maybe not”, sighed, “Love, love, love….That word is a powerful word that comes with a powerful feeling that can't be erased, destroyed, or shut down no matter what. A powerful feeling strong enough to overcome anything or bring down anything in its way. 

All my whole life, I have always searched for love, all because it wasn't given to me by my parents when I was still a kid. I was abandoned at a young age by my parents to my grandparents. Even though I grew up with my grandparents who showed me all the love they could, I loved them but felt distant from them. My grandparents don't know much about me except what they thought changed me, and the fact that I love to be alone, love music, love to write and sketch. Even I don't know if I know myself. I think my grandparents always wondered what kind of person I was or what kind of I became after the incident, even she.

Since I was abandoned by my parents to my grandparents, I made a vow to myself to find love in this world. Love that has no reason. Love that doesn't care who or what you are. Love that will never stop or end no matter what. I promise to create a family of mine where such love with exist.

It was funny at first how someone who loves to keep himself wants to find love in this vast and strange world and not just any love but a rare one. As fate would have it, I didn't get to search for love before love found me.

My dream of love came true. I was able to find the love I was looking for and enjoyed it but it was only for a short while because the love I found seemed to want to be the end of me. I couldn't enjoy the love for a long time before death came knocking on my doorstep. That has made me question whether was it worth it or not. Was love in exchange for my life worth it?

Wait… It wouldn't be good if you didn't understand all that I meant by what I said and am sure you are confused right now. I also know you might have questions. So I think we all should go back to how it started and see where I made the wrong decision. This is how it all started.…………”.

Blessing was born into the lovely family of Mr. and Mrs. Adewale. Mr. and Mrs. Adewale were a happy couple and they became happier when they gave birth to their first male child, Blessing. They named him Blessing all because they felt blessed when they gave birth to him. They loved and cherished Blessing, and provided every need for him. Mr and Mrs Adewale weren't rich or poor but they lived a happy and loving life.

Blessing was just 3 years old when their family was blessed with a second child and their little family added one. Blessing younger brother was born into the family and was named Bolu. The Adewale family continues to live their simple and happy life as love reigned in their family. Mr. and Mrs. Adewald were happy with their kind and loving sons until Blessing had an accident that changed everything.

Blessing was 9 years old and Bolu was 6 years old when Blessing was involved in an accident. Bolu was playing with fire in the house when Blessing saw him and tried to stop him from continuously playing with fire. While trying to stop his brother who was refusing to stop playing with the fire, Blessing mistakenly gets burnt by the fire. The fire burnt part of Blessing’s face surrounding his left eye; his eyebrow, eyelid, cheek, and temple close to his left eye get burnt except his left eye.

Blessing was quickly taken to the hospital by the neighbors who heard his scream from their house and came to check up on him. Blessing was treated in the hospital by the best doctors and he was okay since the burnt didn't affect his actual eye but where he was burnt became a scar that has been imprinted on his face for eternity. Blessing now has a scar surrounding his left eye that he will carry for the rest of his life.

Blessing thought since he had been treated and had forgiven Bolu for his mistake that made him have a scar, that everything should return to the way it once was but it was the opposite. It started at school, Blessing’s friends at school stopped playing with him saying his scar made him look ugly and scary, and so did his friends at home.

Whenever Blessing went out with his parents and brother, they were all embarrassed and humiliated because of Blessing's scar. Even at home, Bolu no longer wants to play Blessing and always stays away from him like he is scared of Blessing. Blessing became a shame to his family all because of his scar, even his parents hardly looked at him.

Because of what was happening, Blessing's parents agreed to send Blessing to his grandparents to live with them. Blessing was sent to his mother’s father and mother but that doesn't change the love Blessing has for his parents and brother.

4 weeks after Blessing had been sent to his grandparents, Blessing's parents stopped calling nor did they come to check up on him. Blessing awaited his parent's call every day and wished for them to come to see him but they did not call or show up.