How to hate a Ceo in 48 hours

- I regret to inform you that you have endometriosis. - said the doctor.

endometriosis. Okay, I've heard of it. But I never Googled the meaning.

- And... Is this serious? I asked worriedly.

- Endometriosis is when the endometrium, which is this mucosa... - He showed in the kind of toy he had containing a uterus and all its parts that he had on the table. – Which lines the inside of your uterus, grows in other regions of the body...

- Like this? I arched an eyebrow in panic.

- Calm down... I'll take all your doubts. Continuing: monthly the endometrium gets thicker so that an egg, after being fertilized, can implant in it. When there is no pregnancy, it flakes off and is expelled during menstruation. Endometriosis is when some of these cells are not expelled and fall into the ovaries or abdominal cavity, where they multiply and bleed again. So they can spread to other parts of the body, such as the intestine, bladder, peritoneum... – he was showing each organ that he spoke with the pen, in its plastic female prototype.

- What are the causes? - I was curious.

- The causes are not yet completely known. But two factors that are currently taken into account is that it may be genetic. Does your mother have?

- I don't know... My mother is already dead. Maybe I could have developed it, but I have no way of knowing. But my grandmother sure as hell not.

- Another hypothesis is that it is related to possible deficiencies of the immune system.

- So my intense cramps that seem to kill me are for this reason?

- Basically, yes.

- Do you feel pain during sexual intercourse?

- I... I haven't had sex in a while.

He looked at me, looking surprised.

- And... When you had sex... Did you feel pain?

- Sometimes ... But I can't take that into account. My partner was… How can I explain… – I tried to find the right words.

- Well, you don't have to explain it to me, Miss Novaes. So, was it in pain?

I nodded, sure he didn't want to hear my eight-year history with Jardel.

- You are young. This disease impacts pregnancy. That is, it is one of the causes that makes it more difficult for this to happen. But of course it can be reversed with proper treatment. As you haven't had sex for a while, as you told me, you shouldn't be interested in getting pregnant for now, am I right?

I nodded, again. My voice didn't come out and I tried to keep the thousand thoughts running through my head from driving me completely crazy, since I was dizzy.

Did I want to get pregnant? Honestly, I never thought about that. My life was focused on study, work and an ex - boyfriend who wasn't even worth wasting time thinking about him.

But at the same time, maybe I didn't want to have a child with Jardel. I was young... Okay, not so much. But I was hoping to meet someone else one day, I don't know exactly when. What if he didn't have kids either? So... Would we ever have a baby?

My maternal instinct today was zero. But maybe in the future it wouldn't. How would I know? For now, I didn't care if I got pregnant or not. I was sick...

- How long do I have to live? I heard myself asking, looking at nothing.

I heard the doctor laugh as he leaned back in his chair, wiping the tears that fell from his eyes.

- Doctor, are you laughing at me? – I asked bewildered.

- I'm sorry, Miss Novaes. But I really found your question funny. I thought you made me understand that there is treatment.

- So I'm not going to live with this forever, am I right?

- Although we didn't find out at the beginning of the disease, since you don't go to the gynecologist a... - He looked at the computer. - Four years?

- Yes ... But I can justify.

- He can?

- I... I was full of work. Making a specialization. Lot of study. And I still had a boyfriend... And he gave me a lot of headache, believe me.

- So... In 365 days a year, finding 30 minutes to visit the doctor and do the preventive was that difficult?

I sighed, leaning back in the chair.

- Sounds like a lie, but I forgot about myself for a while... Focusing on someone else.

- It should always focus on you too, Miss Novaes.

- I know, doctor. And believe me, everyone told me that.

- Well, I'm going to prescribe some medication to control the pain during the menstrual period and to prevent the progression of the disease. We will follow up regularly and we cannot rule out surgery to remove affected areas.

- I... I've never had surgery...

- Just a hypothesis... If you do the treatment the same way you go to your gynecologist, for example.

My eyes glazed in his direction. What a sarcastic and cruel gynecologist.

- A healthy diet and physical exercise help reduce symptoms, although they are not enough to solve the entire problem.

I took the prescription, the exams filed in a folder, along with all my agony and said goodbye to him.

As soon as I got off the elevator on the ground floor and saw daylight outside the building, I took out my cell phone:

- Google, tell me all about endometriosis.

I listened as I headed home, walking.

The appointment was late in the afternoon and it was still thirty minutes late. The day had been free, as my temp job ended last week.