Holding Onto His Distorted Love

Adapting to a new environment? I wish that was what all this was about,I'm trying to come in terms with the new which suddenly feels like a stranger.

Thirteen old me after the sudden big move from the home I used to know to a place that seems awkwardly strange.I was a indeed an A student or should I say, used to be an A student, at my previous school, home I knew who i was, knew my paths and pictured my future, I could trace my steps back when I notice a  missing piece or mistake in my life but not anymore I seem to have lost all that and lost my ability to retracing my steps or should I say I lost the zeal to do that.

As an A child in my home, I was given a specific pattern of daily activities, what to do, what to wear and where to be at a given time.Never really knew or felt what childhood was.I was kept away from the world and what I considered Fun.

I'm a well behaved girl who wouldn't do anything to displease her parents, well that was a thing of the past the moment I met my so called knight in armor.A new kid moved into the building, he was  a bright outspoken kid who put smiles on people's faces. Being a curious me, I wanted to know more about this interesting kid but couldn't dare to go against my parents principles, I gave up the thought of wanting to learn about him till he approached me after watching and keeping distance from me.

We became friends so quickly, learnt a new whole fun besides reading books, I learned to love and see music as a source of soothing to the soul and I learnt dancing as well.We would have fun listening to music and dancing together when my our parents were out, at that time I started getting emotionally attached to him and I didn't realize or knew myself as someone who gets attached quickly.

And a life may have its way, everything must eventually meet its end. Coming back from school excitedly with my thoughts and ideas of the fun we would have that day all to crashed by the news of him moving out of the neighborhood, I didn't get to process this not until he was gone.Well I had to get back to my old pattern of life once again but this time I drowned myself into books well it did my grades good but left me feeling empty in the inside.Couple of months passed and we got a new neighbor but this time around it wasn't an interesting kid it was an adult,a disorganized adult but he did piqued my interest with his favorite music genre, it reminded me of my fun life but I still get my distance as usual and only secretly sing and dance to the music he played indoors