Holding Onto His Distorted Love

***

"For fuck's sake, Nova! We have to go!" Gianna called out for the umptieth time, leaving me groaning in exasperation. I didn't even Want to go to the damn concert in the first place. They had had to come and drag me out of my bed and my chill Netflix and popcorn evening.

*And now they're being all pushy about it, damn them...*

"I'm coming! Jesus!" I called back out, staring at my outfit once more, one they had picked themselves of course. It had been so long since I'd been in anything but my work pants and skirt suits. Partying hadn't really been at the forefront of my mind since that incident...

*Which is exactly what they're using as an excuse to get me out...Damn *him* for still making my life a living hell...*

Okay, that was pushing it a little. My two best friends meant well, I knew that for a fact but that didn't mean I couldn't hate them just a little bit for interrupting my weekend.

I smoothed over the leather black miniskirt that showcased a zipper design at the front. The pairing with the stockings and garter straps was bound to pull in some attention, what I was sure was their plan all along.

*Always so damn cheeky...*

The red lacy bralette was a great pairing against the leather black jacket. I grabbed the black platform ankle boots, pulling them on quickly before adjusting the high ponytail of my waist-length red hair was in, the curls flowing effortlessly down to the small of my back. My blue eyes looked all the more accentuated with the black-winged eyeliner and mascara, the nude lip gloss a good neutral blend with the entire outfit.

*You can do this, Nova. It's just a night out with friends and your brother as it turns out...You're safe and allowed to have some fun. For chrissakes, you're only twenty-five. Might as well enjoy it while you can...*

Chuckling at my dumb pep talk, I grabbed my clutch bag before heading out of my room, the girls' catcalling and whistling low at the sight of me that had me playfully rolling my eyes. They could be so dramatic.

"Finally! But it was definitely worth the wait. You are going to make everyone bend over backwards for you, bitch."

Blue called out, her beautiful brown eyes assessing me from head to toe, leaving me flushed even as I admired her own outfit. It consisted of a black rugged band t-shirt that was tucked into the high-waist rugged jean shorts which she matched with black Doc Martens.

Her curly hair was in a simple, messy bun showcasing her mixed heritage. Her brown skin was littered with beautiful, intricate tattoos, all of which had a story behind them. She was the fashionista of our small band of friends, her outfits always on point and the one we called when we were wound up on what to wear.

A compliment from her was literally the holy grail of all comments. It meant you'd definitely done something right. It also didn't help that I'd always had the smallest crush on her back when we first met. She had always and still is so free and fierce which always had a part of me pulled to her and the confidence she exuded.

When she'd come out to us as pansexual, we'd been so thrilled for her and what was to come but I couldn't help but put my feelings on the back burner, knowing damn well that I couldn't give her what she wanted and vice versa.

Since then, our friendship had grown all the more but it didn't mean that I couldn't help but admire her.

*A girl is allowed to look...*

"Well, we did good, Bee. She's gorgeous. Now, we're late! Let's go before Leo gets impatient."

Gigi prompted, grabbing her own bag as Blue handed me a tequila shot I downed in one go before following the two out of my apartment and into the elevator where our fiery Italian friend was waiting impatiently.

"Your OCD is showing, Gigi."

Blue poked at her, earning the middle finger in return that had us all chuckling. She was one of my oldest friends, our relationship going as far back as senior year high school to being college roommates before we met Blue who became our new roommate down the line. Beautiful with the most striking hazel eyes, I had always been jealous of her petite figure which was currently clad in a beautiful, short, off the shoulder, black dress with buttons at the front that she paired with thigh-high boots.

Her blonde hair was loose against her shoulders, her make up light as well with black eyeliner, mascara and a red lip combination. She was equally just as impressive when it came to her outfits, her and Blue's style contrasting though.

Her relationship with my older brother, Leo, had been a shock at first for me seeing as I hadn't even realized they'd been dating. She had been scared I wouldn't approve, which was dumb honestly but I understood her thought process and yes, I had been hurt that she didn't feel she could come to me and tell me they were together but I was all in all, super happy for them.

They were complete contrasts of each other with Leo being more conservative, something I guess came with him being a trauma surgeon whilst Gigi was more outgoing and wild which melded perfectly with her job as a Social Media Manager at one of the top PR firms in Seattle and the states over.

Their relationship really was 'couple goals', despite my ardent distaste for that misused term. They had somehow made it work despite their crazy work schedules and different personalities that made them argue here and there but they always made a point to fix it. Seeing them together was almost enough to make me believe in love again.

Almost.

"Why are we taking a cab? I could just drive us?"

I spoke up once we got to the chilly lobby where the black Escalade was parked in waiting.

"Girl, you know damn well we're gonna get drunk tonight. And none of us wants to be the designated driver so a cab it is...And yes, we made the decision for you."

Blue finished with a mischievous smile and wink as she got in first, Gigi following suit with a small apologetic shrug that made me sigh in exasperation before bundling in as well and shutting the door behind me.

"You two are freaking insane,"