His to ruin

Nova

It's finally here! my nineteenth birthday has finally arrived.

I'm sure y'all are wondering why's she so freaked about her nineteenth and whatnot.

My boyfriend Deshawn and I have been dating for a year and we both agreed that my first time was going to be on my nineteenth birthday. I dunno how we came up with that, but I guess it was just a spur of moment kinda thing and we stuck with it. I don't regret it, never will, and never have.

Deshawn and I have been together since he moved into town and was my neighbour, but we never got together until he started my highschool. The rest is history.

I get out of bed and make my way to my dresser to pick out what I'd be wearing for the day, I'm the kind of person that picks comfort over any other thing, also because I'm on the big side.

I rummage through my wardrobe and end up settling for a pair of big sweatpants I got from my big brother, Chance before he travelled, and a big tee.

I giggle to myself as the memory of my not-so-successful robbery appeared in my head.

I love stealing his clothes.

Yes it's my birthday, yes I'm wearing ordinary clothes and yes I also don't care.

My birthday has always been the same now, every year since I can remember. it's always me, all alone in my room. Sometimes it's interesting if Chance is around but ever since he travelled, I have to settle for the different time-zone calls.

The only thing I'm looking forward to is the time I'll get to spend with Deshawn later. My smile broadens as I remember the one person that makes me the happiest.

I grab my towel once I step out of the shower, my bathe was so quick it almost felt like I didn't take any, but I did.

I'm not surprised my parents haven't called me down for breakfast or even wished me a happy birthday, that's if they're even home.

They barely remember I exist not to talk of being at home.

Sometimes Chance and I feel like they're just our distant relatives and not our real parents, that's just the sad truth.

That's one of the reasons Chance left this town the first chance he got. Most people might be mad at him for ditching me or something of the sort, but he's my brother and I'm always going to be happy for his success no matter what form or shape it takes.

Even though you've not seen him for almost

four years?

"He'll come back, I know he will" I mutter to myself as if saying it loud will make it come to pass

I pick up my phone and I'm surprised to see zero text messages. I mean what did I expect, but at least I had hope that Deshawn would have texted or something.

I dial his number and listen to it ring repeatedly before he finally answers

"Hey babe" he exclaims, he sounds completely out of breath

I squeeze my brows together in confusion "Hey, how are you?"

He clears his throat " I'm good, Happy Birthday babe" he says making me forget the slight anger I was feeling earlier

"Thank you, baby. For a moment there I thought you forgot"

"Never! How could I forget it's the day we've both been waiting for."I went to Micheal's party last night and got back completely wasted so I forgot to plug my phone to charge, I just did now and your call came in"

Oh okay, so that's what made you remember...

"You sound out of breath, you good?"

"Yeah, I'm on the treadmill. Hey babe I'm gonna call you back gotta take care of something"

"Okay talk to you later, I love you-"

I hear the beep before I could finish my statement.

I fall back onto my bed defeatedly, I have no idea what to do now, feels like I got dressed up for nothing.

Don't cry! Be strong, you're not pathetic!

I chanted slowly in my head trying to encourage myself.

I picked up my phone and I decided to scroll through TikTok, it was the least I can do to cheer myself up at this point.

I've spent almost an hour watching all sorts of TikTok videos, pets, dance, and comedy and none of them seems to be of much help in distracting me from wanting to call Deshawn.

Call me pathetic or whatever it hurts to know that your favourite person in the whole world is out there somewhere on your special day, and you lack their attention.

Deshawn is not only my boyfriend he's like my best friend, the only friend I have, to be honest.

I was too closed off in high school to think anyone wanted to be friends with me, or even be friends with them. High school students can be annoying sometimes. So I came up with the conclusion that I'm better off without friends for now.

And then Deshawn showed up.

I went downstairs grabbed my car keys and got in my car, part of me knew I wasn't thinking straight right now but I was going to do it before I chicken out.

I'm heading to Deshawn's house.

A few minutes later I pull up to his driveway. I contemplate parking my car because I can hear music, and see numerous beer cans who has a party by this time? I pick up my phone to check the time only to see that it's 7:30!

I was watching TikTok for several hours!

I park my car and walk to his house I considered knocking but I doubt anyone will hear me with all the loud music but I still decide to knock.

The door opens up before I could knock and someone I'm very sure does not live at Deshawn's house invites me in.

"Thank you" I mutter to the strange guy.

I walk in and part of me suddenly feels underdressed, I brush the feeling off, close the door behind me and I make my way to Deshawn's room.

People start clapping once I'm at the feet of the stairs, at first one guy started it then the rest joined in and I notice all eyes on someone, I turn around to check but nobody. Yep! their eyes are definitely on me.

I look up the stairs and I hear footsteps and see Deshawn coming down

the claps and cheering start to die down "Hey princess" I smile at the nickname like I always do

"Why are they clapping?"

"It's your birthday remember?" he laughs as if I could forget.

"Yeah, I know so?"

"The party is for you. That's why they were cheering I was upstairs looking for my phone to call you before you arrived"

I looked around the entire room and all I could see was a room full of people that I didn't know and a lot of beer cans and weird substances on the table like any other house party I'd heard about from Chance.

This is supposed to be a party for me?

I smile at Deshawn unable to even utter the word thank you.

"Let's go" he smiles at me as he leads the way to his room

We get to his room and I go to seat on his bed but it smells weird and is scattered so I settle on the chair while he takes the bed.

Ew.

What's going on today? My entire body and mind are telling me to run for the heels and not look back. And usually, I listen to my body, sometimes... when I'm hungry.

But this time it's like a blaring alarm telling me to run and get out of this place, I can almost smell the discomfort.

But my heart is saying another thing, this is Deshawn whom you've been dating for a long time now and very soon you are going to join him at his college.

And as naive and stupid as I was, I followed my heart.

"Nova, what's wrong?"

"Nothing"

"Come here baby," he said patting beside him on his bed