CHAPTER ONE
Have you ever wondered if you existed in a parallel universe? And the other you, had a complete life that wasn't upside down?
The power to do anything and know everything. Even the secrets you feel lurking around you. There's just no place that feels like home for you.
All that, was how I felt. A soon to be eighteen years old girl who knew nothing about her life. Except for the fact that she loved pets and was absurdly obsessed with nature. I always told myself, that if I were to be anything, I would be a female version of Dr. Strange.
Because then, I'll have the power to do strange magical things; like shooting myself out of this world to a place where there was no such thing as a secret. But I guess that would make me have more secrets.
Grieving was a bitter phase. But it's worst when you are grieving for someone or people who you had never met. It was a cold sensation that had you stuck in a space between crying and laughing. Between feeling guilty and sad.
Another frustrating thing is when you're seeking help, but the only help you need is setting your mental prison free. Yearning for the truth but not was kept in the seed of secrets. Until you believe your whole life itself is a fruit of lies.
I had always known I wasn't normal. Normal people don't dream about seeing themselves covered in flowers and living underwater. They don't move to different houses every year and most of all, they don't live their lives running. That wasn't normal. Nothing in my life was normal. My memory was a paragon of confusion. I was one to seek help and not find. Normal people don't do and see the things I do.
I gritted my teeth, blinking the tears that threatened to fall down my face, as my eyes darted to the picture of grandma and me at my graduation. This should be a moment where I smile. A moment where I sighed and say ' everything is alright and perfect ' but who was I kidding nothing in my life was perfect. Every moment of my life was like walking on eggshell. Like a painting waiting to get destroyed by the splash of water. Distorted.
They said crying was the best thing healer, the best comforter but I had always tried my hardest not to cry. My family was not complete, it was nothing like a cherry family that laughed and went on trips. No, it was not. That picture wasn't supposed to be just me and grandma in there. My father was supposed to be there and so was my mom. The woman I killed.
If I wasn't born, then she would still be alive. Living a purpose-driven life or doing whatever she was doing. But no I had to come and I came with death. I was a jinx. A jinx that had a sad life with a grandmother that wanted to keep me looked up in a tall castle-like Repunzel. If possible. It for your good Luna she would say, I try to believe. I try hard. But it's impossible to believe that which is not convicted within you.
I only had one option. To live.
I remember the first time I tried asking my grandma about my parent. It was not a memorable moment. Grandma scolded me, she told me to stop thinking about it. That my life was precious and if I wanted to stay alive, I shouldn't complain, overall it all ended in one statement. It is for your safety.
After that day, I never dared question why we always moved. I even feared the answer I would get. I feared the truth of the secret of my life.
I sighed, thinking was exhausting. I had work in ten minutes and sitting at the dining table, watching grandma make breakfast was boring. I needed coffee and not food. Food was tiring. To me anyways. Everything was exhausting. I sighed again, placing my head between my palms.
" Another sigh Luna, what's wrong?" came grandma's voice.
I jerked my head up, startled out of my thoughts.
" Nothing. When are we leaving ?"